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Old 05-10-2003, 01:47 PM   #1
Rindoien, elf of Lothlorien
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Sting I just made up this song...it's not very good but I'd like your opinion :)

The Elves were the immortal,
The graceful,
The good.
The Elves were the wisest,
The fairest,
The first.

The Dwarves were the miners,
The craftsmen,
The short.
The Dwarves were the delving,
The bearded,
The rash.

The men were the foolish,
The Kings,
The strong.
The men were the swordsmen,
The greedy,
The rulers.

The hobbits were the mischievous,
The jolly,
The fun.
The hobbits were the ale lovers,
The friendly,
The Halflings.
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"And he sang to them, now in the Elven tongue, now in the speech of the West, until their hearts, wounded with sweet words, overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness."
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Old 05-10-2003, 01:53 PM   #2
Catherine
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Silmaril

Very nice *CLAP CLAP CLAP* [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 05-10-2003, 02:08 PM   #3
Yavanna228
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Tolkien

Sounds good to me. Almost puts me in mind of Treebeard's list. Hurrah for poets and songs! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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Old 05-10-2003, 02:51 PM   #4
ElenCala Isil
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Question

yes, splendid.. very good! *round of applause*
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Old 05-10-2003, 02:58 PM   #5
Rose Cotton
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Sting

I like it, but I must say that it makes humans sound like bad people.

"Yes there is fraility, there is weakness:But there good and honor to be found in men." I know that isn't the exact quote but it's true.
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Old 05-10-2003, 03:29 PM   #6
Meela
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Sting

Thats beautiful! I love it!
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Old 05-10-2003, 03:30 PM   #7
Meela
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Sting

Um... is it copyrighted? I'd love to have the verse on the men in my signature...
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Old 05-10-2003, 07:11 PM   #8
elven maiden Earwen
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Sting

That was great. Treebeard does come to mind [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Old 05-10-2003, 07:15 PM   #9
Luthien_ Tinuviel
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Sting

Very good. Since you said it was a song, does it have a tune? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 05-11-2003, 03:43 PM   #10
Feanor of the Peredhil
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Silmaril

I like it. It does bring Treebeard's lists to mind. Since you did ask for opinions, I'll give a little creative criticism from one writer to another: it's good, it's creative, it's catchy, but the rhythm is a bit shaky in places. Also it seems to me that it's missing something. An ending that ties all the races together perhaps. But it's your work, not mine, and that's simply my opinion, so do what you will. Once again, nice work. I know how much guts it takes to post poetry, lyrics, or even stories for the world to see. Cheers.

Fea
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Old 05-16-2003, 09:36 AM   #11
Rindoien, elf of Lothlorien
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Sting

Quote:
Um... is it copyrighted? I'd love to have the verse on the men in my signature...
Yeah, if you want. You could quote me though..and by the way, it's not really a song, more of a poem [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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"And he sang to them, now in the Elven tongue, now in the speech of the West, until their hearts, wounded with sweet words, overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness."
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Old 05-16-2003, 11:20 AM   #12
Meela
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Sting

Thanks! I'll save it up for my next signature change [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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Old 05-17-2003, 10:14 PM   #13
polices
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Sting

I like this poem but I am just a tad bit confusend. [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img]
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Old 05-18-2003, 04:28 PM   #14
the guy who be short
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Sting

very good, but men arent really that strong, as compared to say, elves. both physically and mentally. and it'd be better if you presented an even view of them
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