Survivor: Surviving the Minor Works

[Celuien]

-- Chrysophylax
++ TEDDY...

...as a strategic move. Chrysophylax isn't going anywhere today, and I want to keep Giles around for the big showdown.

Besides, teddy bears. Hmmpph.

[Diamond18]

Teddy: 5 votes

Farmer Giles: 3 votes

The Parson: 1 vote

Nell: 1 vote

Gram: 1 vote


And so, Teddy was beaten, not softly, with a big stick.

(Thus fell the last Mr. Bliss character)


Day the Thirty-Fourth finds 9 contestants remaining:


Those Who Belong to Faerie

Goldberry
Alf the Prentice, King of Faerie
Smith of Wootton Major
Queen of Faerie
Chrysophylax Dives

Those Who Don't

Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)
Gram, his dog
The Parson
Nell

[Anguirel]

There's one way to reinvigorate this show. Take away the central edifice and everything else collapses. I say we double-evict Giles and Smith.

++SMITH THE SACRED COW

[Formendacil]

LMP appears to have vanished (blame that fiendish juggernaut of a Werewolf game...) and so we can kill off Smith without fear of him dropping out. This close to the end, he likely won't be back in time.

Nice character though he is, I've never wanted to see a Smith win- just to irk SPM, and that's gotten boring.

Therefore, I beseech thee all to join and the noble Anguirel (well, sometimes he's noble...) in making this day dull and boring with predictable votes like so:

++ Smith

Clearly, a pseudonym.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Whatever happened to my vote for Gram yesterday? Not that it would have made a difference, but I feel like Bilbo at the end of the Battle of Five Armies, invisible - and I'm not wearing a magic ring! I shall have to place my vote later today to be seen...

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar

Whatever happened to my vote for Gram yesterday? Not that it would have made a difference, but I feel like Bilbo at the end of the Battle of Five Armies, invisible - and I'm not wearing a magic ring! I shall have to place my vote later today to be seen...

*whispers in a sneaky voice*

If you want your vote counted today, Esty... vote Smith. You'll have a whole legion of people making sure your vote is counted.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Thanks for the suggestion, but there's one problem - I want Smith to stay! I am working on a study of the autobiographical allegories in 'Smith' and 'Leaf', and the title character of the first is the last representation of Tolkien left in this game. I cannot prevent him from being voted out by others, but I shall most certainly not participate in that action! Nell, Gram, even the Parson - all possibilities...

[tom bombariffic]

In a heroic display of dishonour, I'm going to go and do exactly what I've been conplaining about. And I'm going to do it with bullish vigour, and then I'll probably go and have some cake and eat it. And you can't stop me.

Because I don't just want the big characters left, but judging by Estelyn Telcontar's post, I have a glimmer of hope that today she may give up fighting the juggernaut that has been shaping up against the

++ QUEEN OF FAERIE

I may not still have my aloof dignity, but she never had any.

bombariffic

[The Saucepan Man]

Ooh! Ooh! An opportunity ...

+ + SMITH OF WOOTTON MAJOR

Reasons scattered throughout this thread.

Originally Posted by Ang

I say we double-evict Giles and Smith.

I say we evict Smith today and Giles tomorrow. That way, with strength in numbers, we can be assured of both.

You know it makes sense!

[Celuien]

Smith. And just when I was going to vote for Chrysophylax again.

++ GRAM

A bad dog who gets his master into trouble.

If absolutely necessary, I will vote for the Queen of Faerie to save Smith. But only if absolutely necessary.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

As Stephie said (inaccurately) to profesor
Bobo while babysitting for Mrs. Pearl Forester
in an MST 3000
episode:
"Bad dog! Bad dog!"

+ + Gram

[Kuruharan]

++ Smith of Wootton Major

Evidently he's actually a minotaur in disguise...

++SMITH THE SACRED COW

...and we don't want any of those running around.

(I mean, seriously, were-minotaurs...can you imagine?)

(I have a feeling my mod will be unhappy with me...)

[mormegil]

+ + SMITH OF WOOTTON MAJOR

I hear the summons!

Anybody with the name of Smith is far too common and we can loose a million of those and still not be in lack!

[littlemanpoet]

Oh, I'm here all right. You can bet I'm here. Not a chance of me letting this pass by.

SMITH LOVERS YOU NIGHT! .... or something like that...

++ GRAM

He's just a troublemaking dawg.

Alcarillo, I'm calling in that favor from a bunch of days ago. Please save Smith!!!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Elempi

Please save Smith!!!

But why should he be saved? What has he ever actually done? Other than abandoning his wife, children and other worldly affairs while he was "away with the Faeries". And what has he done on the show to make it interesting? Zilch. Zippo. Nada. That's what.

Giles voters: My offer still stands. If you aid in a successful eviction of Smith today, you will have my vote for Giles tomorrow.

[Anguirel]

This game-much though it might seem to the contrary-is not contrived solely to fill LMP with happiness. His nemesis has been overlong in coming. You should have seen this, Poet of Little Men-no man can elude fate. You've enjoyed this lark and coasted on popular support at the expense of many of us, but you couldn't have expected this to last to the end...

Come, let us sit upon the ground,
And tell sad stories of the death of Smiths...

[littlemanpoet]

You think Smith did nothing? He was the primary carrier of the doom of Wootton. If not for him, beauty would have died in Wootton. Cakes would have been all airy frost and no nourishment. Gates, horse shoes, and hearth utensils would have been ugly and functional alone.

You cravens! You've admitted that you're against happiness! As good as orcs, I tell you! See if there is not a rumbling of support to save Smith from the likes of ye. Down with the orcish rebels! Those who would see the noble thrown down and the criminal raised up, should be thrown down themselves!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Elempi

You think Smith did nothing? He was the primary carrier of the doom of Wootton. If not for him, beauty would have died in Wootton. Cakes would have been all airy frost and no nourishment. Gates, horse shoes, and hearth utensils would have been ugly and functional alone.

A hollow myth. Put about by the Smithsonians to justify his pointless existence. He left his family, to starve for all he cared, while he was off cavorting with Faerie Queens. Better the cake in hand than the one in the mind's eye, I say.

Originally Posted by Elempi

You've admitted that you're against happiness!

Happiness is good. But happiness should be for all, rather than solely for the privileged elite permitted entry to Faerie.

Support the masses! Down eith the elitist Faerie-dreamers!

[Anguirel]

I'm all for elitists, but this elite has made the dire error of not including me.

Say what you will, LMP, you've presumed on your non-existent Right to Happiness long enough!

[Celuien]

Dreamers useless? Shocking falsehood!

Who has the insight to see the world for what it could be rather than how it is, and thereby gives us visions for the future? The dreamers. Who brings beauty into the world through art, music, and literature? The dreamers again! Why, without the Smiths, there would be no Beethoven, Mozart, Monet, or (gasp) LOTR. We wouldn't even be here now to have this argument if there were no Smiths around.

Save Smith!

[tom bombariffic]

Surely you can all see that smith was innocent, corrupted by the evil queen of faerie?

Hey dol, derry dol, Kill the Queen.

bombariffic

[Bêthberry]

This vote quoted below is a slanderous attack on the beliefs of vegetarians everywhere. I can barely countenance the copying of it save that I must make you aware of which vote it is so as to avoid such sullying of the reputation of the Downs for fairness, tolerance, respect, civility, community, courtesy and etc etc--which rant of course does not exclude the Lord Etceteron, as he certainly must have had a high level of tolerance even as he practiced it little.

Originally Posted by Anguirel

SMITH THE SACRED COW

In short, I cannot countenance a vote which is undertaken according this wretched form of discriminatory reasoning.

Speaking of discrimination, I myself have had difficulty with Tolkien's attitude towards cats and have tried to acquire a modicum of understanding for his canine favouritism. Now I feel it is time to acknowledge his unfortunate speciesism and vote off the dog.

+ + GRAM

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by my widow

Who has the insight to see the world for what it could be rather than how it is, and thereby gives us visions for the future? The dreamers. Who brings beauty into the world through art, music, and literature? The dreamers again! Why, without the Smiths, there would be no Beethoven, Mozart, Monet, or (gasp) LOTR.

Ah, well. I have nothing against those visionaries who actually make something of their dreams. Problem is that Smith did nothing of the sort. He simply enjoyed all that Faerie had to offer (those flirtacious Elf maids, in particular ) and then returned. End of story. Dull, idle, selfish and unproductive. He must go.

Originally Posted by bombariffic

Surely you can all see that smith was innocent, corrupted by the evil queen of faerie?

At least she stayed in her rightful place. Elves belong in Faerie and Smiths belong in Wootton Major. I might be more sympathtic to him had his sojourn in Fairyland actually produced some tangible, or even intangible, benefit. But, alas, it did not.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Originally Posted by Celuien

Who brings beauty into the world through art, music, and literature? The dreamers again!

Nah, most of them achieved their greatness and fame with hard work, I tell you. The so called dreamers, Mozart, for example, lived an unhappy life drinking liquor and died young. Say no to "dreamers" and their unhealthy lifestyle!

Originally Posted by lmp

You cravens! You've admitted that you're against happiness! As good as orcs, I tell you!

No wonder that orcs became so vile if happiness is such an exclusive thing.

Smith the winner of this Show? Dream on...


++Smith of Wootton Major

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Bb

This vote quoted below is a slanderous attack on the beliefs of vegetarians everywhere. I can barely countenance the copying of it save that I must make you aware of which vote it is so as to avoid such sullying of the reputation of the Downs for fairness, tolerance, respect, civility, community, courtesy and etc etc

Alas, Survivor shows do not hold such a reputation.

But at least this day has brought more excitement and controversy in one day than there has been throughout the rest of the show to date. The viewing figures are soaring in response. Which cannot be a bad thing, whichever way the voting may go.

And the Smithsonians have at last been compelled to put up a defence of their sacred .. er ... cabbage, rather than simply assuming his continued survival. Happily, and as I could have predicted, the exercise has established that there is no credible case for his continued survival, let alone his victory.

'Tis sentimentality alone which grips the thread by which his survival hangs ...

[Lalaith]

++SMITH

Boring name, boring guy. Bet the Queen was bored by him, too.

[Diamond18]

Oooooooh my goodness, has the Alliance of Ultra DOOM made an appeareance in my humble game?

[littlemanpoet]

Be warned, foul miscreants, you will not be rid of me so easily. Beware the revenge I shall wreak upon your plans should you succeed in your malfeasance!

For example: Anybody who's playing Dueling Wizards who votes against Smith of Wootton Major will NOT get a good death write-up.

Worse yet, I'll have the EW & GW pick YOU as their choice to make mincemeat of!

FEEEEEEL the WRATH of Elempiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Who needs animals and players who can only bark and try to get others into trouble?!

++Gram

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

. . . sacred .. er ... cabbage . . .

As an Englishman I suspect you don't realise that cabbage--mon petit chou--is really a form of great endearment for those of use who are not hobbled by knowledge of only The One Language, English.

Perhaps you meant sacred sausage? That strikes me as a bit more Brit.

[the phantom]

+ + Gram

I don't think a dog should be winning this contest- particularly a bad dog.

[Kuruharan]

Anybody who's playing Dueling Wizards who votes against Smith of Wootton Major will NOT get a good death write-up.

Worse yet, I'll have the EW & GW pick YOU as their choice to make mincemeat of!

Well, considering the fact that only one of us is still alive and/or playing, I'm not sure this is going to work.

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

Giles voters: My offer still stands. If you aid in a successful eviction of Smith today, you will have my vote for Giles tomorrow.

Now that's a really tempting offer... seeing how you've been SO successful this game at voting somebody off.

On that note, a couple more Smith voters would be much appreciated to alleviate fears of Gram getting it instead.

Originally Posted by LMP

For example: Anybody who's playing Dueling Wizards who votes against Smith of Wootton Major will NOT get a good death write-up.

Worse yet, I'll have the EW & GW pick YOU as their choice to make mincemeat of!

Mwahahahaha!

I'm not playing. Anguirel's not playing. SPM's been killed already. The real lynchpins of the anti-Smith campaign are invulnerable in that respect.

Lalaith, Spawn, Kuru, Morm... you're in possible danger, I suppose. Stick to your guns! Don't let this domineering politician use his influence elsewhere here! It's a classic situation of a bigwig in one field trying to pressure people in another. Stick to your guns!

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

...anti-Smith campaign...

Do you really want to be associated with anti-Smith antibodies?

Come on, folks! Don't vote out Smith. Gram is a much better candidate for elimination today. So vote for Gram.

And, yes, I'm sentimental. Unapologetically so. So there.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Elempi

For example: Anybody who's playing Dueling Wizards who votes against Smith of Wootton Major will NOT get a good death write-up.

Shocking abuse of power! I thought that you Smithsonians were all high 'n mighty. Yet you now reveal the true lengths to which you will go to secure your candidate's desired victory. Something is rotten in the Land of Faerie. Shocking!

Originally Posted by the phantom, ever so conveniently popping in

I don't think a dog should be winning this contest- particularly a bad dog.

No one's saying he's gonna win. The anti-Gram vote is simply an attempt to secure the victory for Smith. And that is what will surely happen should he not go today. How dull and predictable will that be? It will turn viewers off the show for good. Come now, there will be plenty of other worthy candidates left if Smith goes.

Originally Posted by Celuien

So vote for Gram.

Can one divorce one's widow ...?

But why vote for Gram? Can anyone give a good reason, other than the fact that he's a dog? Dog's are useful in survival situations. They can hunt food, keep guard, provide good company and all sorts. In marked contrast to Smith, who has conspicuously failed to do even a single useful thing while on the Island. Always off searching for Faerie. Never contributing to the tasks or the camp chores. Tsk!

And Gram may misbehave occasionally. But that shows character. Something in which Smith is singularly lacking.

Originally Posted by Formendacil

Now that's a really tempting offer... seeing how you've been SO successful this game at voting somebody off.

But just look at the way the odds have been stacked against me. And, despite all that, he is now on the verge of leaving. Besides, there are a few who wish to see the back of Giles. I will be glad to join them once Smith as gone.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

Perhaps you meant sacred sausage? That strikes me as a bit more Brit.

But my dear Bb, old bean, I was simply trying to avoid offending those delicate vegetarian sensibilities of which you spoke. Sacred sausages would not do at all.

Sacre bleu!

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

Can one divorce one's widow ...?

I suppose the legal question is one of the necessity for a formal divorce proceeding if one party to the contract is already deceased. Does the marriage contract provide for an automatic ending to the wedded state should a spouse die, then reappear in other form in a different realm of existence, as has happened in this case? Or is the incident of death sufficent to end the contract, regardless of still-living embodiments of the deceased in other forms? Then again, should you succeed in killing Smith today, I will be joining you in the realm of the departed. Would the marriage be resumed upon my death, regardless of previous termination? Whether or not a previously nullified by death marriage is resumed once both parties are deceased is a knotty point beyond my ability to unravel. I'm not a loyer.

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

But why vote for Gram? Can anyone give a good reason, other than the fact that he's a dog?

I can! Yes, dogs are useful in survival situations. But they must be useful dogs. This beast, as indicated by his name, is a one gram nothing. Can you expect any work from such a tiny creature? Is a miniature canine of any value in defending the camp if an intruder can easily squash him with the step of a bare foot? Of course not.

Vote Gram for Eviction!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Celuien

Then again, should you succeed in killing Smith today ...

Well, I only want to evict him. Whether he dies upon eviction is a matter for the Diamoddess.

Originally Posted by Celuien

I'm not a loyer.

You should be after that speech ...

Originally Posted by Celuien

Is a miniature canine of any value in defending the camp if an intruder can easily squash him with the step of a bare foot?

Smith is hardly any use in defending the camp when he's away with the faeries all the time. Gram brings amusement and companionship, if nothing else. Smith brings nothing to the party.

Btw - you see how exciting this can be when the outcome is not predictable ...

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

You should be after that speech...

Why, thank you. I'll have to consider if I ever become unhappy in my current profession.

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

Smith brings nothing to the party.

But he does bring something. He brings the one thing without which no party is complete. Cake.

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

Btw - you see how exciting this can be when the outcome is not predictable ...

Very exciting. Though I still hope that Smith will be saved today...

[Lhunardawen]

++GRAM

For cats! Err...Smith!