Middle-Earth Football Tournament

[Sleepy Ranger]

Out of pure bordem I have decided to do a Middle-Earth Football Tournament. It will be done World Cup style. 8 Groups, 4 Teams in each. Top two will move on to the Quarter-Finals and from there on it will be in knock-out format.

All matches will be simulated in Fifa 2k6, and results will be posted with highlights. (I'll have a video of the match if people want.)

Here are the teams (In no paticular order)-

1. Gondor
2. Shire
3. Mordor
4. Numenor
5. Rivendell
6. Lothlorien
7. Bree
8. Arnor
9. Angband
10. Alqualondë
11. Belegost
12. Dale
13. Erebor
14. Mirkwood
15. Rohan
16. Moria
17. Gondolin
18. Grey Havens
19. Nargothrond
20. Valimar
21. Valmar
22. Vinyamar
23. Woodhall
24. Barrow-Downs
25. Old Forest
26. Fangorn
27. Isengard
28. Tol-In-Gauroth
29. Ephel Brandir
30. Doriath
31. Crickhollow
32. Goblin-town

I shall put up the groups and fixtures tomorrow. (The teams used for simulation will be picked at random before each match. Brazil will not be used because Fifa 2k6 has a bad habit of over-rating them. Only International teams will be used.)

Thoughts? Comments? Feedback? Should I go ahead with this?
(And also let me know which team you're supporting! ^_^)

NOTE- For the highlights I will change the player's name to someone from that region in Middle-Earth. (Some teams will have random players if nobody from that area has been named)

EDIT- I meant soccer. (Just clearing it up if anyone gets confused)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

This sounds... ... interesting. I hope the Hobbits win something.

Nice idea, sleepy.

[Bergil]

do we have to wait untill 2006 for the brginning (joke)

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by Bergil

do we have to wait untill 2006 for the brginning (joke)

No but you'll have to wait for 2009 to see the next one

[Gil-Galad]

is going to be human vs human i hope, if its human vs compu the human player could have more skill and dominate...

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by Gil-Galad

is going to be human vs human i hope, if its human vs compu the human player could have more skill and dominate...

All matches are simulated. Its com vs. com (on professional difficulty it actually manages to dish out entertaining matches).

[Gil-Galad]

hopefully the home team wins (Barrow-Downs)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Sounds neat.

[Alcarillo]

Sounds like a cool idea. I will of course be rooting for the Barrow-Downs, but I'm also a fan of Numenor. And Sleepy, how soon will this start?

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Sounds like a cool idea. I will of course be rooting for the Barrow-Downs, but I'm also a fan of Numenor. And Sleepy, how soon will this start?

Well, I'll have the groups and fixtures up tomorrow. I'll probably kick us off on Monday. The matches may be some what inconsistent till the 23rd but after that they'll be up as per schedule.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Group A
Old Forest
Mordor
Moria
Rohan

Group B
Shire
Arnor
Rivendell
Vinyamar

Group C
Barrow-Downs
Woodhall
Valmar
Valimar

Group D
Nargothrond
Ephel Brandir
Mirkwood
Erebor

Group E
Dale
Belegost
Bree
Numenor

Group F
Goblin-Town
Tol-In-Gauroth
Doriath
Isengard

Group G
Lothlorien
Crickhollow
Fangorn
Alqualondë

Group H
Gondor
Angband
Gondolin
Grey Havens

Today's Fixtures
Opening Match-Barrow-Downs vs. Woodhall

Gondor vs. Angband

Lothlorien vs. Crickhollow

Goblin-Town vs. Tol-In-Gauroth

Dale vs. Belegost

Nargothrond vs. Ephel Barandir

Shire vs. Arnor

Old Forest vs. Mordor
---

There will be no videos for todays matches. Sorry.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Today's Results
Opening Match-
Barrow-Downs 1 - 0 Woodhall
A close fought contest with Barrow-Downs edging it thanks to a 52nd minute goal scored of a rebound by Saucepan Man. A low high powered shot by Sleepy Ranger was deflected onto Saucepan by Woodhall's keeper who effectively finished the job. Woodhall nearly levelled the match in the 70th minute but a motivated save by The Barrow-Wight kept Barrow-Downs ahead. The highlight of the match was the free-kick by Phantom which went straight out of the stadium.
---

Gondor 1-0 Angband
This match was quite an upset. Angband were strong favorites but an early 10th minute goal by Faramir set the tone for the rest of the match. A unified Gondorian defense held of numerous attempts to equalize by the forces of Angband. Towards the end several Angaband players resorted to dangerous tackles but this turned against them when their captain, Melkor, was sent off on a red card.
---

Lothlorien 0-1 Crickhollow
It was an even contest but Lorien always looked the stronger team. Just when it looked like Haldir was about to score a Hobbit snatched the ball and sent a long pass to Fatty who ran down the flank to knock in the winner. Lorien wasted several chances in corners and scored a late goal only to be given an off-side.
---

Goblin-Town 0-1 Tol-In-Gauroth
This match was rather strange. Goblin-Town had over 70% posession but never managed to shoot straight at goal, instead opting to shoot all around it. Sauron finally got fed up with them and stole the ball from a defender and shot it in to get the win.
---

Dale 0-0 Belegost
This match was a hard fought contest with no team able to gain an advantage. The only moment of real danger was when Bard shot the ball into his own box but the keeper was on it right away.
---

Nargothrond 1-1 Ephel Barandir
Two evenly matched, highly aggressive teams in this match. Surprisingly no cards were shown and a 35th minute by Turin but Nargothrond ahead but Ephel Barandir managed to score an equalizer just before half-time to keep the pressure on. In the second half apparently nobody felt like scoring and were content roughing up the other team.
---

Shire 3-3 Arnor
This match was a goal-fest. Arnor shot in two goals in the first 15 minutes. And at half time looked set for a 2-0 win but a come back led by Pippin saw Shire take the match 3-2 in their favor. A 90th minute equalizer in the form of a penalty saw Arnor save the game.
---

Old Forest vs. Mordor
*Later Tonight*

[WaynetheGoblin]

Man this is a good idea you are so smart. I have to start a thread some day. Go barrow downs.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Hurrah! The Downs won a game! I think this deserves a group Huzzah!

HUZZAH!

Still, I hope the Shire does well.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Old Forest 0-1 Mordor

This match was always going to be a close one. Old Forest seemed to have it under control for the first 45 minutes with Bombadil coming close to scoring many times but after the half the match dis-integrated into a mid-field battle. Dark Lord got himself a yellow card for a random tackle on a player that didn't even have the ball but he still managed to net in the winner in the 80th minute. Old Forest went ballistic in the last 10 minutes and came close to scoring but luck was not on their side and Mordor won the match.
---

Sauron in the Mordor team is listed as Dark Lord to avoid confusion. Another note if people want I can do a few more matches today.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Well, this is how it stands:

[Kitanna]

Very nice, Sleepy Ranger, very nice indeed.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Thanks for that Fainu! Nice chart! ^_^

[Valesse]

Haha! I see this quickly becoming a rage in most Tolkien forums, Sleepy! I wonder where they're going to be selling jersys...

- - - - -
"Middle Earth Sports Watch" produced in association with Arda Sports Inc.

[Firefoot]

Sweet idea, Sleepy.

I'm rooting for the home team, of course, but I'd love to see the Rohirrim and the Shire do something.

[Gil-Galad]

its going to be interesting, but i'm confused over the chart, wouldn't it be easier to go by game won? or are you going by points?

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by Gil-Galad

its going to be interesting, but i'm confused over the chart, wouldn't it be easier to go by game won? or are you going by points?

By points. 3 for a win and 1 for a draw. I hope some groups have close endings.

[Gothmog]

Great idea, especially for us football (soccer) fans. How about some betting? I bet this fine barrow-sword I found here on the Downs on Barrow Downs and Shire. That they make it through to the final that is. It's a fine blade from the west with a number of random signs. I'm sure it's worth a lot!

We should have journalists at the games too, interviewing the players.

[Sleepy Ranger]

We should have journalists at the games too, interviewing the players.

I was planning some pre-match things and match previews (only for the KO stage though). I think I'll do some interviews as well. If anybody would volunteer to help with the pre-match stuff it would be appreciated.

[The Saucepan Man]

Hey! I scored a goal! That makes a total of 2 goals scored in my life to date ...

Does that make me a striker in the Barrow Downs team, Sleepy? Or an attacking midfielder? Or a central defender up for a set-piece? Indeed, I would be interested to see who you have chosen to make up the various squads, and the positions that you have chosen for each player.

Nice thread, Sleepy. Particularly if we can get some (strictly canonical, of course ) fan reaction going here. Knowing the players and their positions might help in that of course. We can then debate, for example, how Turin's woefully lacking defensive capabilities are more than made up by his strength in attack. And how how Gimli's obdurate nature contributes to his importance as a holding midfield player ...

I like how BW gets to be the Downs goalkeeper.

[Sleepy Ranger]

SaucepanMan says too much, and really has no idea what he's doing.

I feel inclined to post that.
I didn't make the squads because most teams wouldn't have enough players. Besides all the players from the actual team are give a Tolkien character at the start of the match (some people are featured more than once to make it 11). And to answer your question here is the Barrow-Downs squad-

--------------------BW---------------------------
--Glirdan----Rune-----Arctic------Firefoot---

-------Fea----------Gil-------------Hiriel-------
------------------Phantom----------------------

----------Sleepy------------Saucepanman---
Its a 4-3-1-2 formation.
Phantom takes free-kicks and left corners, Hiriel takes right corners.
Sleepy takes penalties and Barrow-Wight is the captain.

And of course all the pre and post match things are strictly cannonical. You needn't worry about that.
And I believe you shall find a lot of good humour in some of the writings people have submitted to me. Hats off to everyone who has.

[wilwarin538]

Nice idea Sleepy. When I first saw the title I wasn't to excited, not being a fan of football. But I then realised that for you football is soccer. I love soccer! So ya, I love this idea.

Keep it up!

By the way, Glirdan(in real life) isn't the best at soccer. But Wayne is very good at soccer. You might want to replace Glirdan(for the treams sake of course) with Wayne. (just kidding, I'm just teasing Glirdy)

[Bergil]

I note I'm not on the team, dispite all the "offensive" posts I make.
Where can I find a big-pointing-hand-thingy.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by Bergil

I note I'm not on the team, dispite all the "offensive" posts I make.
Where can I find a big-pointing-hand-thingy.

Offensive posts? O_o
Anyway you can be on the bench and drink tea with dear Fainu!

[Firefoot]

Apparently my virtual left foot is better than my real life one, or else I wouldn't be playing on the left side...

Hopefully the BD team actually gets pretty far in this. That would be exciting.

And kudos to Sleepy for organizing this whole thing. I'll admit, I was a little skeptical at first that this would actually go anywhere, but it's really shaping up.

[Glirdan]

Wow!! This is awsome!! I'm of course rooting for the home team, being a player and all. Wilwa, no offence taken. This is really cool!!! Great idea Sleepy!!

[the phantom]

Nice stuff, Sleepy.

I'm going to give my take on the different groups.

GROUP A

This group looks fairly strong. Mordor would seem to be the favorite. The Dark Lord is an excellent team leader- the rest of the team (Nine Nazgul and The Mouth of Sauron) follow his every command as if they were all one joint body. Sauron and his Nazgul have a nearly psychic connection, which leads to some of the most outstanding passing the world has ever seen. And in goal, they have "The Mouth"- named for his ability to swallow up about any shot attempt at his goal.

Rohan certainly has athleticism and grit, but they can't really stack up against Mordor.

Moria has a dangerous captain (Durin's Bane), but his supporting cast doesn't give him that much help.

The Old Forest has the lightning fast Tom, who no one has ever caught, but his teammates just stand there rooted in the ground leaving him to do everything himself. Against a weaker team Tom can carry the load, but not against the likes of Mordor.

Chances of Winning Group-
Mordor- 91%
Moria- 6%
Rohan- 2%
Old Forest- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- Mordor
Might make semis- Moria
Won't advance any further- Rohan, Old Forest

GROUP B

Rivendell is the obvious pick in this group. Elrond leads a team of powerful elves, including Glorfindel, Elladan, Elrohir, and Erestor.

Vinyamar might be able to stay with Rivendell early, but as we all know, it doesn't take members of the Vinyamar team long to lose interest and desert the team to go someplace like Gondolin.

Arnor has the same problem. They tend to start strong, but then sort of fade away.

The Shire, if it is able to survive the early onslaught, is capable of beating both Vinyamar and Arnor, but I don't think the hobbits can keep up with the elven lords of Rivendell.

Chances of Winning Group-
Rivendell- 92%
Shire- 5%
Vinyamar- 2%
Arnor- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- Rivendell
Might make semis-
Won't advance any further- Shire, Vinyamar, Arnor


GROUP C

In my opinion, The Barrow-Downs will own this group. First, they hold a huge advantage in the realm of strategic thinking. Many of their players have honed this skill by participating in Werewolf games. The Downs also has incredible depth- a roster of several thousand. In addition, many of the Downers will be able to distract opponents with their extreme attractiveness. The Barrow-Downs also can fall back on its fabulous goal keeper, The Barrow-Wight, whose hands are four feet long and four feet wide, and positioned at the end of ten foot arms. It takes some serious work to get something past him. Also, the phantom is nearly always able to win the crowd over to side with the Downs- even if the game is in the other team's stadium.

Valimar and Valmar both have great talent (the Valar), however, their rosters are identical, meaning that the players will have to play twice as many games as everyone else. I can see them being strong for a couple of games, but the teams will really start to go downhill after that. However, if by some miracle either Valmar or Valimar advance out of this group, they will suddenly be very dangerous as they will no longer be pulling double duty.

And Woodhall- do they even deserve discussion? They were only allowed into the tournament out of pity.

Chances of Winning Group-
The Barrow-Downs- 89.5%
Valmar- 5%
Valimar- 5%
Woodhall- 0.5%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- The Barrow-Downs, Valmar, Valimar
Might make semis-
Won't advance any further- Woodhall

GROUP D

Nargothrond has to be the favorite in this division. Before the rosters were announced, I wasn't sure who to pick, Ephel Brandir or Nargothrond, but now that it has been announced that Turin will play for Nargothrond rather than Ephel Brandir, I have to give the elven realm the advantage.

I know Erebor may seem like a great pick because of Smaug, but Turin, who slew the father of dragons, will defeat Smaug head-to-head every time. Also, Smaug tends to get ejected from a lot of games for his horribly mean behavior.

So, while I believe that the Smaug-led Erebor team will roast Mirkwood and Ephel Brandir more handily than Nargothrond will defeat them, I can't see Erebor defeating Turin and Nargothrond.

Chances of Winning Group-
Nargothrond- 81%
Erebor- 15%
Mirkwood- 2%
Ephel Brandir- 2%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- Nargothrond
Might make semis- Erebor
Won't advance any further- Mirkwood, Ephel Brandir

GROUP E

Bree is horribly outmatched in this division. Dale isn't much better off. Belegost is better offensively and defensively than both. And then Numenor- they are as far above Belegost as Belegost is above the other two teams.

The Numenorians are stronger than the dwarves of Belegost and wiser too, but it is their huge height advantage that will seal the deal. The players from Numenor will all have an unobstructed view of the field, and they will be able to head-strike any ball in the air without interference. The Numenorians should be able to use their heads to take the ball all the way down the field, where they can then pop the ball over the dwarvish goal keeper, who is unable to guard the upper portion of the goal.

I definitely think Numenor has a clear path to win their group, however, I don't think Numenor has any chance of going all the way to the championship. There are several teams with better talent than them, and they won't stand a chance if matched against either Mordor or Tol-In-Gauroth, who are both likely to advance out of their groups. They don't stand a chance against those two teams because of the Sauron factor. He has the Numenorian's number.

Chances of Winning Group-
Numenor- 86%
Belegost- 8%
Dale- 5%
Bree- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way-
Might make semis- Numenor
Won't advance any further- Belegost, Dale, Bree

GROUP F

Goblin-town is sure to lose all of its day games. This is too great a disadvantage to overcome. You can write them off.

Isengard's orcs don't have this problem, and with Saruman leading them they are certainly formidable. But I think Doriath, led by King Thingol and the fine goal-scoring duo of Mablung and Beleg, is a bit better than Isengard.

But my pick to win this group is Tol-In-Gauroth. Sauron is one of the best players in the tournament, and his strong and agile werewolves have not only excellent physical skills, but also an intimidation factor that simply cannot be overlooked. Tol-In-Gauroth will win their group.

That said, I wouldn't pick Tol-In-Gauroth to advance farther than the semis in the overall tournament- not unless it picks up another star player. Sauron tried his best to convince the phantom to defect, but Phantom chose to stick with his fellow downers.

However, if for some reason team chemistry is destroyed and there is a falling out between the phantom and the managers of the Downs team, expect Phantom to switch over to the Tol-In-Gaurhoth team- a move that might make the Gauroth team the favorite to win the title. But at this point, I can't see that happening.

Chances of Winning Group-
Tol-In-Gauroth- 80%
Doriath- 12%
Isengard- 7%
Goblin-Town- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way-
Might make semis- Tol-In-Gauroth, Doriath
Won't advance any further- Isengard, Goblin-Town

GROUP G

This group is a very very weak group. There are several teams in other groups that will not win their group but would've won this group had they been placed here. In my opinion it is rather unfair that one of these four teams will get a spot in the final eight while other more worthy teams sit out.

Lothlorien has Galadriel, but as people will soon find out she is mostly hype. And even was she as good as she wishes she was, she doesn't have much help.

Crickhollow's team is laughable. Most of their players are overweight and timid.

Alqualonde is a somewhat solid team. They are probably better at most positions than Lothlorien, so I can see them winning that match up. However, if they advance out of this group, don't expect them to go any further, especially if they run into a team with a Noldor or two playing for them.

Fangorn is the only somewhat dangerous team in this group. If they get "roused", they can play an awfully good game, but the problem is I don't imagine they will be able to rouse themselves in time to avoid elimination. And even if they do manage to get charged up and advance out of this group, you know they'll probably just go back to sleep in the next round.

Chances of Winning Group-
Alqualonde- 50%
Lothlorien- 30%
Fangorn- 19%
Crickhollow- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way-
Might make semis-
Won't advance any further- Alqualonde, Lothlorien, Fangorn, Crickhollow

GROUP H

Group H is an extremely competitive group. The Grey Havens isn't particularly good, but the other three teams all have a shot.

Gondolin has an amazing offense. Turgon takes the center, and Glorfindel and Ecthelion take the flanks. Maeglin and Tuor are aggressive mid-fielders and often come all the way up with Turgon to put pressure on the goal.

Gondor also has an aggressive offense. Providing the firepower is Aragorn, Faramir, Boromir, and Imrahil.

In my opinion, Gondolin has the edge over Gondor.

But the favorite would have to be Angband. Morgoth is a clever strategist, and his balrogs and dragons carry out his designs with ruthless efficiency. Their game one loss to Gondor was a fluke. I can't see them getting shut out in any more games.

Chances of Winning Group-
Angband- 71%
Gondolin- 17%
Gondor- 11%
Grey Havens- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- Angband
Might make semis- Gondolin, Gondor
Won't advance any further- Grey Havens

[Orominuialwen]

Even if they had nothing else on their side, the Barrow-Downs team would always have their extremely stylish and attractive jerseys. (Please note that I didn't draw the jersey, just photoshopped the logo on to a picture I found.)

[Sleepy Ranger]

Art-strip for the World-Cup - Drawn and written by Valesse
Rohan vs. Moria - Drawn and written by Valesse

Riots in Angaband
-Arcticstorm

Riots erupted in the forums today after Angband was soundly defeated by the virtually unknown team from Gondor. Five fans were killed in the riots immediately after the game. The Center Referree, Boromir88, recieved many death threats from irate fans who are angry over the red carding of their best player. Boromir told us that this does not suprise him much, as he has gotten these threats before and nothing usually materializes, but he said he was a little worried about the arrows being shot at him by the Angband fans during the game. One fan when asked about his reaction to the red card told us that he does not know who they will turn to now. "Perhaps Gothmog," he said, "will fill Melkor's cleats in the next game." But the ref was not the only one recieving the agressions of the fans. The Angband keeper, Glaurung, had to be escorted out of the stadium for his own safety. It has also been said that the Gondor team bus had been completely vandalized and had various orcish writings on them. It has also been said that Faramir, the Gondorian forward who scored the winner, has been poisoned but the coach has denied the claims and said Faramir is in perfect health. The fans though are not willing to believe this since Faramir has not been seen since the match. In Northern Beleriand, the gondorian diplomats had to leave the area under assumed identities for their own safety. We even have reports that the embassy was completely destroyed.

Exclusive Interview with Turgon
Reporter- Rune son of Bjarne

Your Nation highly values your talent, so what do you think of playing for a team with such great cup traditions? Do you feel a lot of pressure each week?

There are only a handful of Nations who is good enough to compete for the title every world cup and Vinyamar is one of them. So I’m proud to be playing at this team. Having this pressure week in week out is a thrill.

Your next game is against Rivendell captained by Elrond, what do you make of his team?

Sure they are talented, no doubt about it, but overall they are just a bit to inexperienced to play at this level.

What do you see as the main difference between your teams?

As I said the experience will be the main factor, lets face it Elrond and his “baby’s” have only really been in this game since the second age. Where as all of my team learned all we know in the first age were there was “real” competition.

How have you prepared for this world cup?

Well as all know started of with a real hard pre-season at the training camp of Helcaraxë, witch really helped us getting close to each other. This was mostly because of the extreme cold, but it really helped us find the right players as those not fit for the game perished. It was however quite disturbing with all the attention from scouts and the media, so we decided to move our practise Nevrast where there are extreme good facilities. Especially our great hall in Vinyamar is good for indoors training and it allow us to train without being watched by spies from other teams.

Could you tell our readers what kind of games they should expect.

Vinyamar always has to win, so it will properly be an aggressive game, but the key to be consistent is a great defence witch the opponent will have difficult braking down. We have different solutions, it depends on the opponent. We can play with a taller central defender like Tuor of Vinyamar with my self and Glorfindel of Vinyamar on the sides. We can play just as well with me or Glorfindel in the central position, or also with the four-man defence.

Is it true you've got a footballing family as your sister plays for Gondolin?

Yes, she's a goalkeeper and she plays for Gondolin’s national team and has done so ever since she was picked for the Gondolin Under-1900 team. She's doing well and I'm proud of her.

Besides your selves who do you see as favourites to lift the cup?

I don’t see anyone beat us, but if I have to choose then it must be Gondolin

Thank you for your time Turgon and best of luck for your match.

Tensions Run High as Rohan, Moria Prepare
-Firefoot

The upcoming game between Rohan and Moria is shaping up to be well-matched game of great interest. Rohan is coming off a strong winning season while Moria, one of the most controversial teams in the tournament, has apparently put its rocky start behind it to take some major wins.

Théoden, Rohan’s captain, seemed confident of his team’s abilities. “We have a good team this year, and we’ve been getting better all season. I don’t see any reason why we can’t win this game. We all have high hopes for this tournament.” Éomer, a Rohan midfielder, seconded Théoden’s statement: “There’s nothing that the Moria team has that we can’t beat. It should be a good game.”

Of more public interest, however, has been the Moria team, an interesting mix of Dwarves, Orcs, and a Balrog. Many sports analysts have agreed that this combination was a large contributor to the team’s poor start this season. Nor is it an issue that has been wholly resolved, as evidenced in an interview.

Moria’s captain, Balin, denied that problems still existed. “We were having a tough time coming together as a team, but we’ve put that behind us and begun winning some games. There’s a lot of talent on this team, and we’re finally putting it all together.” He declined further comment.

Bill, Moria’s Balrog defender, had more to say on the matter, however. “The Dwarves are the ones who always get the credit on this team. It wouldn’t matter if I could play three times as well as the best of the Dwarves on this team; the only reason that I and the couple of Orcs are able to play is because of the fan following; the team wouldn’t be making any revenue if not for the populous Orcs of Moria.” No follow up was able to be gotten from Bill, as he was then needed by a pair of Dwarvish teammates.

Azog, one of the team’s Orcs, seemed reluctant to give any comment, though his disgusted attitude with the Dwarves could not be mistaken. “We’re finally coming together – the Dwarves are finally starting to realize that not all Orcs are just interested in killing each other or aimless pastimes like killing rats for fun. We’re avid strategists and athletes as well – not that many people remember our role in inventing the game of golf. The point is, we should be able to grind the Rohan team into the ground.”

Both teams’ attitudes can accurately be described with Éomer’s closing words: “Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a victorious goal scoring!”

The Result, The Reaction
-Hiriel

Fans across the whole of Middle Earth, Beleriand, and the Undying Lands have been chomping at the bit (some mearas quite literally so) for the first-ever middle-earth football tournament, and now that the first match results are in, it appears as if the excitement is just going to continue to build faster and hotter than an explosion of lava flying out of Mount Doom.

The kickoff match between The Barrow-Downs and Woodhall met with an almost unprecedented sight. The young eagle Landroval reported to us that on his way from the match, “The Downs looked positively radioactive. All the bonfires and unearthly shrieks (I suppose of joy) and such gave it this undulating glow. I mean, you’d of thought there was a bunch of pyro-crazed Brandybucks with lots of dry ice playing tag with banshees down there. I’m glad they won, but when you can hear the after-parties at ten-thousand feet, it’s really a bit much, you know.” The wights at the downs were unavailable or just too spooky for comment, but it’s generally assumed that they’re ecstatic about the end of the match, especially the phenomenal (ph)free kick made by Phantom in second half.

Across Middle-Earth in Gondor, celebrations got a little out of hand after the huge upset over Angband. The city guard reports, upon mustering to combat wonton tee-peeing of statues of Isildur in the first-circle, that one fourth of its reserves had been lost to the massive festivities. At least one suicide is reported in Minas Tirith by an Angbandian supporter, who, in utter despair, lit himself on fire and threw himself off the peak of Mindolluin. However, in Dol Amroth and Emyn Arnen the victory bashes were a little more sedate, though no less joyful. At the latter, huge green banners which read, “Show YOUR Quality”, in honor of the goal scored by town favorite Faramir, could be seen strung from wall to wall as people danced in the streets.

At Lothlorien, many mournful lays could be heard sung over the surprise defeat delt by Crickethollow. Lord Celeborn of Lorien, however, bore the loss with philosophy. “We have all eternity to analyse this one, learn from it, and come back. The hobbits? At the rate they eat, I doubt they have a fortnight. How long do those woodchucks live, anyway?” Supports of Crickethollow seemed unconcerned for their mortality, however, as drinking and dancing reached a peak sometime in the wee hours of the morning, when barmen had to call into Hobbiton for fresh supplies of spirits.

The festivities caused by Mordor’s pull-out victory over the Old Forest became so racous that it caused a company of Rangers to panic and mobilize at the crossroads. Mount Doom erupted in flame, and huge explosions of Orthanc fire could be seen being shot off from Minas Morgul as orcs and Olog-Hai celebrated. “We were very concerned,” Captain Malblung of the ranger company in question said. “We saw all that fire and heard so much screaming that we thought that it alone would rattle the black gate off its hinges. Some folk might poke fun at us marshalling over football results, but what if a company of drunken orcs decided to enjoy the win by beheading some tarks? It’s our job to be prepared for any type of violence and we take this sort of thing seriously.”

And in places bordering Tol-en-Gauroth, in the space of an hour earplugs became a hot commodity. A least four unfortunate villages have been completely wiped out due to post-match jubilation, reports indicate, and no one has any idea how many others have been damaged by the noise pollution from all the howling. The Tol-en-Gauroth team, lead by captain Sauron, were heard rile up the crowd exiting the stadium with the chant, “Takin’ it to the Misty Mountains, mortals!”, and lead to many rock piles being built up and subsequently smashed wherever supports of this wildly popular (and fast growing) club were celebrating.

Today's Fixtures

Game 1 - Moria vs. Rohan
Game 2 - Rivendell vs. Vinyamar
Game 3 - Valmar vs. Valimar
Game 4 - Mikrwoord vs. Erebor
Game 5 - Bree vs. Numenor
Game 6 - Doriath vs. Isengard
Game 7 - Fangorn vs. Alqualondë
Game 8 - Gondolin vs. Grey Havens

Tournament Happenings

Injuries - Thankfully none this week.

Cards -
Melkor (Angaband) recieved a red card and a 2 match suspension.
Dark Lord (Mordor) was given a yellow card.

Most Promising Player - Pippin (Shire) looked solid in the field and never failed to impress once he found his rhythm. After a shaky start he managed to find some motivation and propel his team to the lead.

Most Impressive Team - Both Gondor and Barrow-Downs have shown an excessive sense of team-work and both are in high spirits after their results of yesterdays matches. Though the chances of Gondor going through are minimal their win has definately left them with a feeling that they can go all the way. As for the home team, they were always a favorite.

Reader Response
We encourage our readers to send us letters about their favorite teams, players, matches, goals, referees or whatever else they think of.
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The results shall be up soon. Good job Valesse, Arctic, Rune, Firefoot and Hiriel, hope to see more from you. And if anybody else wishes to write for ME Footy Daily send me a message. Or you could always post random thoughts like the Phantom did.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Todays results, live from Middle-Earth Mirth Stadium.

Moria 1-0 Rohan

Moria dominated this game right from the start but they couldn’t work as a team. Each player tried to outshine his team mate while all Rohan could do was watch on. Moria got near scoring many time but due to the obstinacy of their players they never passed. Bill the Balrog took his time to do flashy moves while Balin took it upon himself to steal the ball from Bill. Finally it was a team effort that won the game for Moria, a high cross to Balin from Bill was headed to Azog who hit it home with a bicycle kick in the 67th minute. Since then all Moria did was pass the ball around the Rohan players which led them around in circles.
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Rivendell 1-0 Vinyamar

This was a pretty even match. Vinyamar dominated the entire first have until Glorfindel went beserk and shot from way out and nearly scored! But Turgon managed to clear it for a corner. It took a twin effort after Elrond sent the corner into the box as a high cross, Elladen headed it but the goalie pushed it away only to have an Elrohir that tripped over his own feet knock it in. The next half was docile and saw Rivendell defend beautifully to make up for their keeper’s non-existant keeping skills. Unluckily for Vinyamar the referee ended the match when they found themselves within scoring range. Rivendell won a partly undeserved victory.
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Valmar 0-0 Valimar

This was a heated contest. The teams were obviously bitter rivals but they showed a great deal of sportsmanship. The crowd alas did not share the same feelings of sportsmanship and there were many fights in the crowd until security kicked out half the crowd after which the remaining spectators remained silent. In the second half Manwe and Varda got into a shuffle with the referee who handed them each yellow cards and sent them merrily on their way. Both teams defenses shut the other out and the match ended as it began 0-0.
After the match the teams demanded they settle it in a penalty shoot-out which ended 3-5 in Valimar’s favor. The result however was taken as a draw.
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Mirkwood 1-0 Erebor

This was another upset in the opening stages of the tournament. Everyon expected Erebor to crush Mirkwood but a mis-timed tackle by Thorin gave him a yellow card and Mirkwood a free-kick. Legolas took the kick with precision, shooting hard and fast along the ground. It knocked the post and went in for a goal in 41st minute. Erebor were unable to mount a comeback and the injury of their goalie, Smaug, will leave them in trouble for next match.
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Bree 0-0 Numenor

This was an aggressive match. Bill Ferny injured Tar-Enclime and got himself a red card which was immediately followed by Elros receiving a red card and Butterbur being injured. It seems both teams will be missing two top players in the next match.
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Doriath 4-2 Isengard

Saruman started of by getting himself a yellow card and giving Doriath their first chance from 23m out. Beleg sent a rocket straight into goal scoring the first of their many goals. After this early 2nd minute goal there was a long and heated mid-field battle with no side giving an inch but finally Ugluk managed to lose his marker and breakaway, in the 37th minute, and chip one over Melian’s head for the goal. Melian was visibly shocked at this since she was considered to be one of the best keeper’s in the tournament. The rest of the half was a back and forth contest with Melian pulling of an impossible save, diving from the far left to far right to knock the ball away. The next half started of with Saruman getting himself a second yellow card and this time giving away a penalty which Beleg converted into their second goal. Then in the 57th minute Beleg found himself in front of an open goal and walked in with the ball, much to Isengard’s annoyance. Thingol sealed the match with a 73rd minute goal from the edge of the box. Isengard managed to score again in the 86th minute but that was just a consolation goal.
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Fangorn 0-0 Alqualondë

This match was a clash of defenses. Neither defense let the other team get too many shots on the goal and the goalkeepers barely had a role in the match. Fangorn came close to scoring after Quickbeam rushed through the defense and found himself 1 on 1 with the keeper only to shoot over the goal. The team captain, Treebeard, was later seen telling him not to be hasty in shooting next time. Of course there was no next time and the match ended in a draw.
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Gondolin 5-0 Grey Havens

This one was over before it began. A two goal lead at half-time was followed up by another two in the second half and one last goal in injury time. The goal scoring was quite spread out with Turgon scoring two and Tuor, Glorfindel and Ecthelion each scoring a goal. This was the perfect start of Gondolin’s world cup campaign. Grey Havens will need to put this match behind them and concentrate on improving their defense if they want to keep any hopes of winning.
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Oh and for 'Reader Response', PM me your letters. You can sign it in whatever name you wish. ^_^ Also feel free to comment on what you thought of the matches and let us know which was your favorite.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Alright, everyone whos been following the MEFWC I need some suggestions for you.

1) What do you think would be a suitable theme song for the MEFWC?
2) Who do you think should be the mascots?
3) Could you suggest some names for stadiums?
4) Who should we keep as referees?

PM me your answers so as not to spam the thread. Feel free to post your match opinions, reactions and stuff. But remember if you wish to write an article or interview or something else that isn't your OWN reaction. (Also if you have anything else in mind feel free to post it or talk to me on AIM or MSN) Send it to me so that I can organize it with the rest of MEFD, credit will go to your name for all you send in. Thanks.

[The Saucepan Man]

The first in an occasional series - starting, naturally, with Group A.

Old Forest
Player Coach: Tom Bombadil
Key Players: Tom Bombadil aka the Master (capt, striker), Goldberry (striker), The Barrow-Wight (defender), Old Man Willow (goalkeeper)

The Old Forest’s player coach is as old as the hills themselves and played in the inaugural championship, long before the original Dark Lord first pulled on an Angbad team shirt. Known simply as “the Master”, he was the first winner of the “Yellow Boots” trophy for most prolific scorer in the competition, and it was in his honour that the trophy was named. But, despite being the Eldest, he has most certainly not hung up those yellow boots yet. He is as fit and nimble as ever. As his strike partner Goldberry says: “Tom just never stops going in a match. He just is”. Goldberry herself is as skilled in her control of the ball as she is in her control of the weather, although she is generally considered to be best suited to wet conditions.

The Barrow-Wight (no, not that one) is a defender who can strike fear into the most courageous opposition and his ferocious tackles have been known to chill opposing players to the bone. Many an attacking striker has been manhandled ruthlessly by the Wight into one of his barrows, never to emerge.

Other than these outstanding players, however, there is little talent to speak of in this team and the remaining members of the squad tend to be somewhat static, reacting slowly to the game and often, therefore, being caught out of position. Even their talented goalkeeper, Old Man Willow, can sometimes be caught standing immobile in his goalmouth while a well-struck shot whistles past his branches.

Saucepan’s verdict: It would be nice to see the team go all the way, if only to see the Master enjoy a last hurrah. But with a lack of pace and quality in key positions, they are unlikely to go far.

Mordor
Coach: Morgoth
Key Players: Dark Lord (capt, striker), The Witch King (striker), Gothmog (attacking midfielder), Khamul (central defender), The Mouth of Sauron (goalkeeper)

Mordor has provoked one of the great controversies of the competition, having chosen as their coach the player/coach of the Angbad team. Speculation is rife as to what will be the outcome should these two teams meet in the competition which, given the strength of each squad, is fairly likely. There is also a rumour (unconfirmed) that their captain, the Dark Lord, is moonlighting as the captain of the Taur-im-Gaurhoth team. One thing is for sure. Nothing should be taken for granted with the Mordor team. They are all capable of employing the lowest of tactics to win.

While the Dark Lord himself is a prolific scorer, his skill lies in manipulating the ball by the force of his will. Being, when all is said and done, merely a large fiery eye ( ), he lacks the strength to hold the ball up and is prone to giving away possession in critical areas. Also, while he is a formidable captain, his first instinct is attack and he can often overlook defensive needs. Thus, his team often falls victim to diversionary tactics, allowing small agile players to sneak through with the ball and score. This may prove to be fatal should Mordor come up against a team like The Shire. However, he is ably supported in attack by the ruthless efficiency of the Witch King and the sheer brute strength of Gothmog (whose nature remain obscure).

The remainder of the first choice team is well-disciplined, being submissive to the will of their captain, although it is often said that their goalkeeper’s reputation is built on bluff and that he might well crumble when truly tested. Nevertheless, his alertness is amply supplemented by the strategic placement of Silent Watchers on either side of the goal mouth.

Saucepan’s verdict: While the team looks good on paper, it seriously lacks strength in depth. Other than the first choice players, the squad consists almost entirely of orcs, ill-disciplined at the best of times, and trolls, whose natural strength is counterbalanced by their compete inability to read a game. A few injuries or red cards (likely, given their tendency to employ underhand tactics) could spell disaster for this team.

Moria
Coach: Durin the Deathless
Key Players: Azog (striker), Balin (joint capt; midfielder), Bill the Balrog aka Durin’s Bane (joint capt; central defender), The Watcher in the Water (goalkeeper)

The media has already commented on the inherent racial tension in this team, consequent upon the coach’s decision to choose the best talent from the orcish, dwarvish and Balrog communities of Moria. Durin the Deathless, has attempted to address this issue by appointing Balin and Bill the Balrog as joint captains, but this has only served to mask the underlying problems and it looks like Bill could well live up to his title of Durin’s Bane as the competition progresses.

Azog is surprisingly well-disciplined for an orc, and a talented striker. But he is often hampered by his dwarvish team-mates’ reluctance to pass the ball to him. This, of course, is hardly suprising, given that Azog started out his career playing dwarf-ball in the back streets of Moria, an orcish variation of the game in which a severed dwarvish head is used instead of a football. Dynamic midfielder and joint captain, Balin, has managed to rise above this, but has as yet failed to instil the same team spirit in his fellow dwarves.

Saucepan’s verdict: Despite the barely concealed hatred between certain of its squad members, this team cannot be discounted. With the imposing Balrog Bill in central defence, spreading his shadow from one wing of the pitch to the other, and the talented and multi-tentacled Watcher in goal, they do not give away many goals.

Rohan
Coach: Eorl the Young
Key Players: Theoden (striker, capt), Eowyn aka Dernhelm (striker), Eomer (attacking midfielder), Elfhelm (midfielder), Wormtongue (winger), Erkenbrand (central defender), Gamling (central defender), Hama (goalkeeper)

Coach Eorl has mustered a tight and disciplined team in Rohan, well captained by the veteran striker Theoden. He, in turn, is ably assisted by Eowyn, who has a natural talent for unexpectedly appearing in great attacking positions and turning the tide with a well-placed shot. Eomer and Elfhelm contribute to a good attacking midfield, while the doughty Erkenbrand and Gamling provide a solid defence. One noted weakness, however, is their tendency to defend in the Deep, and they can be vulnerable when the opposing team gets players forward in numbers. Nevertheless, Hama “the Doorwarden” is a capable goalkeeper, known for his tenacity in refusing entry to even the most forceful of visitors to his goalmouth.

The team’s major vulnerability is the winger, Grima Wormtongue. Known for bad mouthing his team mates and with little talent at his disposal, questions have been asked how he earned his place in the team. It is rumoured that he has an unnatural hold over the captain and that his loyalties in fact lie elsewhere. Nevertheless, he can be a slippery customer and, despite his lack of strength and pace, has an ability to talk himself into dangerously influential positions.

Saucepan’s verdict: If they can make sure that Wormtongue is kept tightly under control, this team could be the surprise of the competition. When they are relieved of the need to concentrate on defending, they can certainly ride forth with great speed, sweeping all opposition before them. In any event, an attack-minded team that is exciting to watch.

Saucepan’s verdict on the Group: Despite Tom’s skill and verve, the Old Forest’s static mode of overall play means that they are unlikely to emerge from this group to progress further. And Moria, despite their miserly defence, will not be able to rise above inter-team disputes to make much headway. I see Rohan, with their exciting attacking line-up, scoring enough goals secure them second place in the group, with the formidable Mordor topping the table. Mordor, however, are unlikely to progress much further as their team becomes increasingly weakened through injury and sendings off, since they lack the necessary strength in depth.

[The Saucepan Man]

Sleepy Ranger, I am keeping an eye on contenders for the Yellow Boots trophy. The tally so far is, I believe, as follows:

Beleg (Doriath): 3
Pippin (The Shire): 3?
Turgon (Gondolin): 2
Azog (Moria): 1
Dark Lord (Mordor): 1
Ecthelion (Gondolin): 1
Elrohir (Rivendell): 1
Faramir (Gondor): 1
Fatty Bolger (Crickhollow): 1
Glorfindel (Gondolin) : 1
Legolas (Mirkwood): 1
Sauron (Tol-In-Gauroth): 1
The Saucepan Man (Barrow Downs): 1
Thingol (Doriath): 1
Turin (Nargothrond): 1
Tuor (Gondolin): 1
Ugluk (Isengard): 1
Unknown (Arnor): 1
Unknown (Arnor): 1
Unknown (Arnor): 1
Unknown (Ephel Barandir): 1
Unknown (Isengard): 1

Are you able to shed any light on the unknowns? Also, did Pippin score a hat trick for The Shire, or were there others on the score sheet for that team in their opening game?

[Rimbaud]

When will casting begin for the presenters of Match of the Day Will Come Again?

[Sleepy Ranger]

Beleg (Doriath): 3
Pippin (The Shire): 2
Turgon (Gondolin): 2
Ugluk (Isengard): 2
Azog (Moria): 1
Merry (The Shire): 1
Dark Lord (Mordor): 1
Ecthelion (Gondolin): 1
Elrohir (Rivendell): 1
Faramir (Gondor): 1
Fatty Bolger (Crickhollow): 1
Glorfindel (Gondolin) : 1
Legolas (Mirkwood): 1
Sauron (Tol-In-Gauroth): 1
The Saucepan Man (Barrow Downs): 1
Thingol (Doriath): 1
Turin (Nargothrond): 1
Tuor (Gondolin): 1
Arvedui (Arnor): 1
Arathorn (Arnor): 1
Earnil (Arnor): 1
Brandir (Ephel Barandir): 1

Unknowns cleared. From now on I'll send you the list of people who score.
Thanks for your contributions Saucey!

When will casting begin for the presenters of Match of the Day Will Come Again?

All yours if you'd like the job, good sir!