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Old 07-26-2002, 12:38 PM   #1
The Green Ringwraith
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Sting LOTR Outtakes!

(Lurtz is fixing to kill Boromir)

Lurtz : *has already shot Boromir once* *draws the second arrow*
Boromir : *watches in horror* *frozen with terror*
Lurtz : *face screws up with.. idescision? pain?*
Boromir : *yawns* *waits*
Lurtz : I CAN'T TAKE IT! *drops bow and arrow and picks wedgie*
Merry and Pippin : *from the bushes comes shouts of laughter*
Lurtz : Come back here you ***holes!!!! *chases the hobbits down the hill*
*Merry and Pippin crash into Sam who rolls down the hill and into the water and drowns*
PJ : CUT! CUT!!!!!
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Old 07-26-2002, 12:58 PM   #2
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The Eye

not to be a party-pooper, but isn't there a thread just like this in the barrow downs?
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Old 07-26-2002, 01:23 PM   #3
The Green Ringwraith
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Sting

If there is I have no idea. Oh well. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
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Old 07-28-2002, 11:56 AM   #4
Halbereth Diagona
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Tolkien

Arwen: It is mine to....eeew! Viggo, you been at the garlic bread again? Your breath mings!

Elrond: Our list of allies grows thin.
Gandalf: Errrr....yes. Hem hem.
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Old 08-06-2002, 07:10 PM   #5
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Tolkien

lol, weirdos

*Gandalf comes back to Bag End*
Gandalf: Frodo, where is the ring?
Frodo: What ring?
Gandalf: The ring Bilbo gave you!
Frodo: Oh, that ring.
*he walks over to an overflowing garbage can and stands on a nearby table*
Frodo: Good bye, Gandalf. If I don't return, burn this house and everything in it, including you.
*he jumps in*
Three days later
*Frodo pops out of the trash holding a moldy ring*
Frodo: Found it!

I wrote that in my parody, so you can't steal this or I'll track you down and kill you.

[ August 06, 2002: Message edited by: suicidal elf chick ]
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Old 08-15-2002, 09:02 PM   #6
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Haha!
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Old 08-15-2002, 09:15 PM   #7
Galadel Vinorel
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Thumbs up

Ha-Ha!! LOL!! This is hilarious!! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
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Old 08-16-2002, 10:54 AM   #8
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Silmaril

Arwen/Liv: If you want him, come and...
Nazgul: Argh (splash) shriiiiiek shriiiiiek bubble bubble (dissappears)
PJ: CUT! Who, exactly, is hiring the Nazguls anyways? This is the THIRD ONE we've lost in this scene. Liv, maybe you should say your lines faster?
Liv: I'll try...
PJ: TAKE 2!
Liv/Arwen: ifyouwanthimcomenandclaimhim!!!
PJ: Cut! Liv, we can't understand what you're saying now!
Liv: Well, what am I sposed to...
PJ: Right, I know it costs more, but this take we're using actual actors for the Nazguls, ok?
Caster: (muttering) I thought the extra hobbits would be good as Nazguls, but noooo, we've got to have ~actors~ that don't ~drown~...

[ August 16, 2002: Message edited by: Ithiliel ]
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Old 08-17-2002, 09:29 PM   #9
Minyaharmawen
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The Eye

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... Yuu get the point [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 08-17-2002, 09:37 PM   #10
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Sting

Gandalf- ... Mirrors only starlight and moonlight...

Gimli- The Jukebox of Moria!!!

Gandalf- *says repeated passwords* *throws staff*

Gimli- Blast it! Won't accept your quarter?

PJ- CUT!!!!! WHAT THE HECK ITS A DOOR!!

Me so funny. Not really that was rather stupid.

Elrond- The ring must be destroyed. One of you must do this.

*utter silence* *shuffled feet* *slight cough*

Elrond- I said one of you must do this.

*crickets chirp*

[ August 18, 2002: Message edited by: Duramarthiel ]
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Old 08-18-2002, 01:10 PM   #11
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Sting

those are great!!
(1)
*Ringwraiths are about to attack hobbits at weathertop* *Aragorn comes up with a sword and starts fighting nazgul*
Aragorn: hullo!! my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!!
Ringwraiths: *confused looks*
Pj: *rolls eyes* CUT! ok, Aragorn, first of all, you're not Inigo Montoya, you're Aragorn, son Of Arathorn ruler of Gondor and all that wonderful stuff, secondly, they didn't kill your father, ok? work with me here!
Aragorn: scuuuuuuuse me, trying to bring some humor to the movie but noooooooo everything has to be ~dramatic~
Pj: *shakes head*
(2)
*Frodo just got stabbed at weathertop* *Sam comes running to him*
Sam: Mr. Frodo!! Mr. Frodo!! no don't die Mr. Frodo!! *starts to cry*
Frodo: *looks over at Sam* *cracks up laughing* hahaha!! you should have seen your face!! *mimics him* ~mr. froooodo mr. froooooodo~ AHAHAHAHA!!
Sam: *punches frodo in the arm and walks away*
Frodo: ahahahaha!!!
PJ: CUT!

(3)
*Arwen comes upon Aragorn and the hobbits heading towords Rivendell on her horse looking all white and giving off a certain glow*
Arwen: I am Arwen..do not be af..*BONK* AHH!! *she hits her head on a low tree branch* WHO PUT THAT THERE!!
Hobbits: *die laughing*
Arwen: you think it's funny!! *starts chasing little hobbits around with Asfaloth and her sword*
Pj: CUT CUT CUT!! *sighs very loudly* I'm surrounded by idiots...

well, that was the best I could do.
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Old 08-19-2002, 01:33 PM   #12
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Sting

Viggo: If by life or death I can save you I will. You will have my swor....Hey! My sword's dirty! Who the....

PJ: Cut! What is wrong Viggo?

Viggo: There's a huge mark on my sword! I will not have this!

Sean B: Uh...guys, that's my blood from earlier. I thought you cleaned it!

Viggo: Your blood? Oh God! *drops sword* I just can't stand the sight of it!

PJ: Jesus...
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Old 08-19-2002, 01:58 PM   #13
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Silmaril

OMG! They are so funny! *wipes away a tear of mirth* wow!
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Old 08-19-2002, 04:30 PM   #14
Marileangorifurnimaluim
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*Frodo stands with ring in outstretched hand. (long musical interlude)*

*Frodo continues to stand with ring in outstretched hand. (tears flow)*

*Frodo still stands with ring in outstretched hand. (music shifts to upbeat positive note)*

*Frodo still stands with ring in outstretched hand. (Crow flies by and snatches ring from Frodo.)

Frodo: HEY!!!!!

PJ: CUT! Damn! Props!!!! Get another ring!! Third one today.

*******

Press release: an unknown is cast in the role of Samwise. While actors such as Sean Astin have expressed interest in the role, Peter Jackson explains that the role of Sam "just can't be played by someone the audience is familiar with" from such roles as Rudy. The name of the actor chosen for this key part is yet to be announced.

Shooting begins..
*Samwise disappears under water, Elijah holds out his hand. (bubbles stop)*

*voice off-camera*: Uh-oh.

PJ: Man, am I glad I went with an unknown.

Press release: the role of Samwise has been recast! Says Sean Astin "I'm really surprised they called me at such a late date. They must have been really impressed with my audition." Studio sources report "we really need the name recognition that an actor of Sean's calibre can generate." An unnamed source on location states, "Dude, let's just say there was this one scene where the other guy just didn't work out."

[ August 19, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]
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Old 08-19-2002, 05:21 PM   #15
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(Boromir is trying to take the ring from Frodo)

Boromir: It should be mine! Give it to me!

Frodo: No! NEVER! (Puts ring on but nothing happens) D*MN! (Smashes the ring aganst a tree) Word dang it!

PJ: We need some "AA" over here!
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Old 08-21-2002, 08:39 PM   #16
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Silmaril

On Weathertop:
*Frodo wakes up*
Other Hobbits: blah blah blah
Frodo: What are you doing?
Merry: Sausages, tomatoes and nice crispy bacon.
Sam: We save some for you Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: Put it out, you fools, put it out!
*Frodo stomps on fire*
Frodo: OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! OH **** THAT HURT!
*Frodo starts hopping around on one foot*
Hobbits:*giggle*
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Old 08-23-2002, 04:39 PM   #17
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*Gandalf standing facing the Balrog*
Gandalf:
You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, weilder of the flame of Anor.You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow, YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

*whams staff down into the bridge, the staff breaks*

Sh*T!
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Old 08-24-2002, 10:14 PM   #18
Jeli Baggins
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Sting

*These parts actually weren't taken out of the movie! They just didn't say anything about it*

((((Aragorn and the 4 hobbits are just setting out from The Prancing Pony. The 4 hobbits are about to settle down and have second breakfast, when u see Aragorn srunch up his face as if he just smelled the most horrible stench ever produced.
Off-set, PJ is talking with Fran Walsh.
PJ: Did Viggo just let one go?
FW: I think so, but it's a natural thing, and besides, I don't think anyone will notice.))))

hahahah! well i did, and u guys can see that next time u watch it! lol

((((The fellowship is running over The Bridge of Khazad Dum. You see Boromir swoosh his arm behind his back.
Off-set, PJ is once again talking with Fran Walsh.
PJ: Do you smell anything unusual?
FW: Well besides the lack of deoderant and fumes from the paint, it does smell similar to that time when Viggo "let one go". And Sean did just look like he was trying to swoosh away a smell.
PJ: oh well, no one will notice.

I noticed it! haha but of course I also have no life. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

ok. well, that's all i could do. by the way, those other 1's were so0o0oo00o funny!!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 08-24-2002, 10:41 PM   #19
Lothiriel Silmarien
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Silmaril

Jeli, that's hilarious!!! Me and Catherine are laughing hysterically! Yeah, I noticed when Viggo scrunched his face, right before the 'elevenses, second breakfast, etc. scene'. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 08-24-2002, 11:29 PM   #20
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haha glad u liked it, my friend Christine and I noticed those two times when we watched it over her house, and we came to the conclusion that all the main human characters farted in the movie. [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 08-27-2002, 12:43 PM   #21
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*Frodo standing on thte road*
Frodo:"I think we should get off the road"
Frodo:"GET OFF THE ROAD!"
*Frodo, Sam , Pip, Merry hide un der tree roots, as Nazgùl comes*
*Nazgùl leans over the top roots*
Nazgùl:"AHH!"
*Nazgùl falls over the ledge and hears V. loud SNAP!*
Nazgùl:"OOOOOWWWW!!!
"PJ:"D*MN!That's the fourth Nazgùl this week!"
********************************************
Well i tried...:P
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE...u guys come up with purty good stuff!!!V. funny!!!
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Old 08-28-2002, 01:51 PM   #22
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Sting

In Bree. Ringwraiths ride into gate. Gate doesn't fall down.
"We need stronger horses guys, and, um, get some extra Ringwraiths, these ones are knocked out..."
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Old 08-28-2002, 04:39 PM   #23
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At the fords of Bruinen:
Arwen: If you want him, come and claim him!
Ringwraiths try crossing, and Arwen does her little spell-thing. Instead of running down the river (which they do in the movie, which doesn't make sense), the Ringwraiths just go back to the shore.
Arwen: D*amn! YOU STUPID BLACK RIDERS! HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF THE PHRASE GO WITH THE FLOW?!?!?!?!? *mutters* Morons.
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Old 08-29-2002, 12:53 AM   #24
Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas
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*Laughing her guts out* THIS IS *HAHAHA* ABSOLUTELY *HEHEHEHE* POSITIVELY *HOHOHOHO* HULLIERUS!!! *Faints from lack of oxygen*
____
*Aragorn, Frodo, Pippin, Marry, Gimli, Legolas, Sam & Boromir are going through the forrest of the lady and they get ambushed by the other Elves*
Legolas: *Holding the bow&arrow but acidently lets the arrow fly*
Elf he was aiming at: *Falls to the ground*
PJ: BLOOM!!! THATS THE 18NTH ONE IN THE LAST HOUR!
Legolas/Orlando Bloom: Well, perhpas if you'd quit casting the guy I'm aiming at with somebody I hate, I woulden't have these little 'Mishaps'!!!

Cave Troll: *Stabs Frodo with the spear*
Frodo*Falls to the ground*
Wardobe director: This aint good
PJ: *sigh* What now?
Wardobe Director: His Mithrel armor JUST came back from the dry cleaners

*Arwens running from the Ringwraiths and starts running across the river. Her horse trips and spills her and Frodo out into the water*
Frodo: I needed a bath...
Arwen: EITHER GET A HORSE THAT WONT TRIP OR I QUIT!
PJ: Why Me???

Thats all I can come up awith at 12:30 at night...Proubably come bak with more tommrrow...

[ August 29, 2002: Message edited by: Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas ]
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Old 08-30-2002, 05:59 PM   #25
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Silmaril

*Rolls over and over laughing really hard* Owww! Owww! My stomach hurts now! *Laughs some more and wheasingly stops and starts to pant*

--------------------------------

Scene: When Boromir runs down the stairs in Khazad-dum and almost falls.
Legolas/Orlando: *Runs to catch him like he is supposed to, but trips on a stair, crashing into Boromir/SeanB. and they both go tumbling into a fiery chasm, both being burned to a crisp.*
PJ: Special effects! The fire is supposed to be fake! God! We've lost more Legoli (my plural of Legolas) that way!

Gandalf/Ian: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! *He slams the staff down* OWWWWW! DANG! That HURTS! I think I broke my hand!

Gandalf/Ian: BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME...ummm...erm...line?
PJ: Ian! We've been over this! *Shows him the script*
Gandalf/Ian: Right...got it...okay: BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJUROR OF CHEAP TRICKS! I AM NOT TRYING TO EAT YOU...
PJ: CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!
Gandalf/Ian: But I'm hungry! Isn't it time for elevenses?
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Old 08-31-2002, 03:38 PM   #26
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Tolkien

roflmao! Boy you peeps have some imangination! Let me try one:

*The hobbits are running through Farmer Maggot's crops...they fall down the hill*

Merry: OW! I THINK I'VE BROKEN SUMTHING!

*After that scene the hobbits go to their trailers for the coming scene, Dom still laying on the road whimpering*

Dom: I'VE REALLY BROKEN SUMTHING!

The other actors: What is it this time?

Pj: Oh for pete sake! Now we have to wait another month or so to shoot the next scene!
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Old 09-01-2002, 04:43 PM   #27
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Silmaril

Elrond/Hugo: You have only one choice: the ring must be destroyed.
Gimli/John: Then what are we waiting for?! *Runs over and raises the axe...brings it down...and breaks the ring in two* Oops!
PJ: Cuuuuuuuut!

Bilbo/Ian: Oh-M-my old ring. Oh! I sh-should very much like - to hold it again, one last time.
Frodo/Elijah: *begins to buttun up his shirt again*
Bilbo/Ian: *Does the freaky little demonic thing that he does in the movie, but accidentally knocks into Frodo/Elijah, pushing him over the balcony and breaking his back...but he lives! Don't worry*
Orlando: *Runs onto the set* Hey! Don't copy me!
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Old 09-01-2002, 05:47 PM   #28
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Sting

Quote:
Orlando: *Runs onto the set* Hey! Don't copy me!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. . . HA!

[ September 01, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]
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Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings.
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Old 09-01-2002, 05:54 PM   #29
VanimaEdhel
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Silmaril

*Curtsies and says in her best Elvis voice* Thank you, thank you very much!

[ September 01, 2002: Message edited by: VanimaEdhel ]
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Old 09-01-2002, 06:27 PM   #30
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Scene: Return of the King (not yet released...), Sam fights Frodo.

Sam: "Mr. Frodo"
He runs over to where Frodo is lying coiled in Spider web. He goes for Sting but trips over his own two feet in the process and cookery tumbles all over the place, hitting Frodo on the head and waking him from the "dead"....
Frodo: "Sean! OW!"
*CUT!*
Shelob: "Can we get on with this... I need to be on the set of 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' in a few hours..."
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Old 09-01-2002, 06:28 PM   #31
Tigerlily Gamgee
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Silmaril

Ah, yes, we've all realized now that what I meant to say was "Sam fights Shelob"!
*slaps forhead*
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Old 09-03-2002, 01:34 AM   #32
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Silmaril

What's that?
This, my friend, is a pine!
They come in pines? I'm getting one!
You've already got half a pine right there!
PJ: OK, CUT! It is not 'pine', it is PINT!
Merry: Tha's what we said, PINE...
PJ: Pine-TTTT!!!! PINT!
Merry: Oooh...
Pippin: I'm confused, pine? Isn't that what we were---
All: FOOL OF A TOOK!
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Old 09-03-2002, 11:25 PM   #33
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Sting

*At the cave troll scene when Pippin stabbed the troll in the back and forced the troll's head up, Legolas accendently shoots Pippin*

Peter Jackson: Dang!

Billy/Pippin: OW OW OW!

Orlando/Legolas: Oh sorry Pippin...I didn't mean to..*Merry/Dom jumps on Legolas*

Dom/Merry: YOU SHOT MY GOOD FRIEND BILLY AGAIN ORLANDO!

Elijah/Frodo: *looks up from where he 'died'* Aww c'mon Orlando just made a mistake...again Dom, nothing a little band-aid couldn't cure. Besides it's hard to shoot at something that isn't even there!

*All the rest nod their heads*

Billy/Pippin: OW OW OW!

(lame it is, I know)


[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img]
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Old 12-03-2002, 03:07 PM   #34
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Sting

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Priceless! This is one of the best topics in the forum! And here are my little contributions to this topic:

*Gandalf on bridge in Moria facing Balrog*

Gandalf: YOU...SHALL NOT...PASS! (slams staff down, bridge breaks on the WRONG side)

Gandalf: ****! (falls into pit)

(Balrog stares into pit for a moment, looks straight at camera)

Balrog: Uh, does this mean that we're done shooting for the day?

Peter Jackson: CUT!!!

*Fellowship at the entrance to the Mines*

Aragorn: The Mines are no place for a pony.

Sam: Good-bye, Bill. (brief silence, Sam repeats himself a bit louder) Good-bye, Bill. (Bill doesn't move) GOOD-BYE, BILL! (Bill still doesn't move) COME ON YA STUPID JACK***, MOVE!! (Bill still doesn't move)

Peter Jackson: CUT!

*Just after the Fellowship begins to travel through the Mines*

(Gandalf takes out his rock for his staff, drops it into a pool of water that is much deeper than it looks)

Gandalf: ****! Hey, Pippin! Go and get that for me, will ya?

(Pippin jumps into the pool, rapidly sinks to the bottom)

Merry(half an hour later): Er, shouldn't we see if he needs help?

Entire Fellowship: Nah, give him five more minutes.

Peter Jackson: CUT!!!!


I actually feel sorry for Pippin now. (I would have waited 20 minutes!)

[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Old 12-10-2002, 09:43 PM   #35
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Sting

At the Prancing Pony
Aragorn:*whips back hood, gets fingers tangled in dirty hair, takes five mins to get it out while Orlando giggles and waves a bottle of pantene pro-v off camera. They end up having to cut his fingers out, and he goes through the rest of the movie with even worse hair than before.*
Arugh... that sux, but it's late, I'm tired, and I just realized I have to go print something out or fail English... kinda ironic for someone who spends all her time obsessing about books, itn't it...

[ December 10, 2002: Message edited by: Artanis ]
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Old 12-11-2002, 11:51 PM   #36
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Thumbs up

ahhaahhaahah!!
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Old 12-12-2002, 01:56 AM   #37
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1420!

Weathertop:

Aragorn, ready to throw his flaming stick at the witchking, stops to pick his massive wedgie [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Old 12-16-2002, 03:23 PM   #38
Nimrothiel
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Sting

ROFL! How about this, instead of Pippin just barely missing the manure, his face lands smack dab in the middle of it.

*At weathertop*

Aragorn: Ringwraiths! Defend yourselves!

Ringwraith: Bagginsssssss...Bagginssss...you...ssssstole...my. ..lunch...

PJ: CUT!!

This one is based on a scene from the book:

*Bilbo's Party*

Bilbo: I'm leaving now, good-bye.

(flash of light, shriek, Bilbo appears with his hair on fire)

Bilbo(running around in circles: Aaaah! Ooooowwwww! Help! Help! Aaaiiieee! I'll get you for this Gandalf!!!!

Gandalf: Oops. (walks away whistling nonchalantly)

Okay, that's enough, my brain hurts. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
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Old 12-16-2002, 06:10 PM   #39
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Elrond: The ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess [...] It must be cast into the fiery chasm from whence it came...
*Elijah starts giggling hysterically*
Peter: CUT! What is it NOW Elijah?
Elijah: He said "whence"...heehee...

(Okay, so that's actually my response every time I see the movie...)
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Old 12-17-2002, 06:00 AM   #40
Garen LiLorian
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Sting

ROFL! My humble contribution.

*Frodo dashing for the ferry, Nazgul in hot pursuit. He jumps, barely makes it. Nazgul's horse stops short, Nazgul pitches over its head to land on his back in the ferry.*
Nazgul; Uhhh... Ha ha ha! *tries to take Ring from Frodo* Ooh. Ouch. D*mn, I think I hurt my back. Can we get a cut here? *all hobbits start laughing*
PJ; Cut!!!

*the gatekeeper looks through his peephole. His eyes widen, and he starts to scream. Shot of the wall. There is a thud, and the wall shakes, but doesn't fall down.*
Nazgul; &*$#(#(%$&^#!
PJ; Cut!

*Lurtz and Aragorn are fighting. Lurtz plucks the dagger from his leg and sends is spinning at Aragorn, who swings desperately.*
Viggo; Ah! (Thump) OWW!! Godam*it! (holds bleeding nose) A little slower, please?!
Lurtz; Sorry.
PJ: Oh, for... Cut!
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