101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say - Page 8 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Samwise · 04-25-2002, 06:44 PM

Hullo, TheWindsorStar ! Welcome to the 'Downs, and to this goofy li'l thread.
(We have GOT to be WAY over 101...)

Quote:

"Save me, Mr. Frodo!" gasped Sam. "I'm drownded! "

Mr. Frodo · 04-25-2002, 08:09 PM

LOL! These are great, they are so funny!

Sam: What the hell is in elf?

Frodo: I need a hug.
*a few million teenage girls fight to be the one who gives him a hug*
Legolas: I need a hug.
*teenage girls leave Frodo*

Eowyn: Ewww! Strider has cooties!

Frodo: So let me make sure I understand this, Elrond. You are going to send four of the most sheltered people in Middle Earth, who don't even know which end of the sword to hold, and one of whom's voice is still changing to do WHAT?!? No @#$%^&* way!

Pippin: (looking at feet) Maybe I should shave that.

Orc in Cirith Ungol: What the hell is wrong with his feet?

Hobbits tap dancing (Inside joke alert!)
An elf singing off key
A manly looking elf

Aragorn: I think I'll take a nice bubble bath and listen to my Enya CD.

Dernhelm: (PMSing) Nobody understands me! Where is my midol?!? *starts to cry*
Theoden: There's something wrong with that boy.

non_conformist13 · 04-25-2002, 10:04 PM

saruman to sauron: are you feeling okay? your eye is a little red.

sauron: yeah, so i've killed, and destroyed, and terrorized people in middle earth for a long time, but does anyone care when i have a bad day? (giant flaming tears fall)

elves: (wearing T-shirts) "never underestimate the power of stupid people (Men) in large groups.

sauron: i'm thinking of getting my eyelid pierced.

gandalf: another grass stain? and in my white robe too! this will never come out! i guess they'll have to change my name to Gandalf the Slightly Greenish. drat.

aragorn to gandalf: and all this time, i thought that ring on your finger was of a wife that you never told anyone about!

bilbo flipping through his books: oh, paper cut!

Birdland · 04-25-2002, 10:24 PM

Quote:

"Save me, Mr. Frodo!" gasped Sam. "I'm drownded! "

Samwise: your quote made me think of a good one:

Frodo: "For the last time Sam; you are NOT coming with me! (Wacks Sam over head with oar.) "Geez! Some people just can't take 'No' for an answer!"

pippin_took0 · 04-26-2002, 12:26 PM

Aragorn, when he sees Eowyn: Arwen, Arwen, you're engaged to Arwen, think Arwen...

Nevfeniel · 04-26-2002, 04:28 PM

Sauron: Hm, should I get color contacts? [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

04-26-2002, 05:15 PM

Sauron at the battle of the black gate:Wait!wait!eyelash!eyelash!
-----
Eowyn to Arwen:so, your immortal, huh?(shifty eyes)
-----
Gollum to the Ring:look, youre just too demanding. im dumping you, sorry.
-----
Feanor:that sucker morgoth, those silmarils are completaly plastic
-----
Beren:that song was great and all, but i actually like being dead
-----
Sam:so why did bilbo actually give you the ring?
Frodo:i think it stemmed from:hey, bilbo, if you replace the b's in your name with d's you get....
-----
this one was inspired by someone, im not sure who tho....
Merry to Aragorn:hey...Trotter,doesnt it suck being a hobbitt sometimes?
Aragorn:shut up

Quote:

"If I hear 'not allowed' much oftener, im going to get angry" samwise

Lothiriel Silmarien · 04-27-2002, 04:36 PM

Witch King to the other Nazguls: Come on you guys we're already so late.

Nazgul #4: Wait, I'm almost done. It's so hard being a Nazgul and all. Black just so isn't my color! I'm more of a pinkish you know?
*All other Nazguls agree, but one replies in a slightly gayish voice; "I hear you sista!"
*Nazguls pause* Then they get back to talking about how pink is more their color.

Witch King: Hey shut the f*** up u f***** pansies, we're f***** nazguls not f***** hobbits.

*Sam and Frodo walk by*
Frodo: Hey excuuuze me! Are you trying to imply that we're gay!

Sam: Yeah cuz we are so not! *Sam has his hand in Frodo's back pocket.

*Nazguls stare at them for a few moments* "You know what, black is more our color...."

Sorry, no offense to hobbits. I love hobbitses:-)

Gimli Son Of Gloin · 04-27-2002, 07:04 PM

Bilbo at his party; OK everyone, I have two rules at my party here. The first is no smoking pipes and the second is no drinking. Thank you.

[ May 02, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

Nevfeniel · 04-28-2002, 08:03 AM

This is inspired by a short story called The Necklace.
Frodo: Gandalf, I lost the ring.
Gandalf: What do you mean? You returned it.
Frodo: That was a replacement Sam and I bought.
Gandalf: But the ring I lent you was just paste!
Frodo: [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

04-30-2002, 05:38 PM

Frodo: im not takin it you take it
Aragorn: what you takin bout frodo
Legolas: shut up short round [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Lothiriel Silmarien · 04-30-2002, 06:01 PM

Nazguls stop at Bree gate (this was inspired by one of the quotes above, sorry forgot the person's name):

Nazgul to Frodo: Hey,um excuse me, I'm terribly sorry for disturbing you, but you see, my boss, a rather uncharming grumpy eye who is very controlling, but also a splendid guy once you get to know him, but he has me and my other friends here with me,
(Nazguls wave and say hello)
well, he has us looking for this short little dude with a ring that is supposedly his, and he wants us to get the...um.... little person and bring him back to him...and see,

Frodo: Are you almost done, I get what your saying. You want to know if I've seen this "little dude", by the way, we're hobbits, and you want us to tell you where this hobbit is am I right?

Nazgul: Oh yes, that would be most helpful!

Frodo: Oh yeah, I'm sorry, he....died.. yeah he was in a terrible..uh...pillow fighting contest...yeah, he got savagedly beat in the head. Poor ol' guy, a good friend of mine too!

Nazgul: *emotional* Oh, oh I'm really very sorry. That's so awful. Yeah, I once knew this wight who was killed by a flying boar. Hard for me too, he was a beloved friend of mine. Well, um I guess you wouldn't happen to know where this ring is would you?

Frodo: No, sorry I don't.

Nazgul: Ok, well I'll just have to go back and tell the master that I couldn't find it. Yeah, he won't be too happy, but what can I do......pillow fight *fighting back a tear*, oh it sounds brutal, very sad. Ok, well gooday to you sir hobbit and I'm sorry about your friend.

Frodo: Ok thank you very much Nazgul dude, good luck with the whole dead thing. It must be hard to keep warm and stuff.

Nazgul: Oh thank you, yeah and my fingers keep decaying too, but nothing much. Toodles!

Frodo: *thinking to himself*. Wow, They live for thousands of years and you'd think they would only get smarter...

Nevfeniel · 04-30-2002, 08:36 PM

Ha! That's a good one, Lothiriel Silmarien! Poor Frodo, a pillow-fighting contest. Sam must be really depressed. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

NyteSky · 04-30-2002, 09:19 PM

Sauron: Lord of the Rings? Who wants that? It is so passe. From now on I'm Lord of the Earrings! Or maybe noserings...

Saruman: Have you hugged a tree today?

Elrond at Council: Frodo! Raise your hand and wait to be called on!

Goblins: Welcome to Moria! Visit historic Balin's tomb or enjoy our excellent restaurant, Durin's Diner. Stop at the gift shop on your way out and don't forget to tip the Balrog!

I could keep going but i don't want to be shunned for the rest of my life. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Ha, there are some hilarious ones up here, "Sam: "Workers everywhere, UNITE!" (ElanorGamgee) Lol!

Lothiriel Silmarien · 05-02-2002, 01:56 PM

Thanks Nevfeniel [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Finally someone read one of my quote thingys!!!! Yeah, Sam would be all depressed and stuff. Sam will have to find someone else and he definetly won't be happy about that! lol

Kyela_Frodo · 05-02-2002, 02:02 PM

This is somthing I could not imagine Frodo say to Sam:

Frodo: Sam, you can`t have Rosy! Shes mine! God damn Rosy`s butt is so sexy! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Celebmundoiel · 05-02-2002, 05:49 PM

Legolas: I'm every do gorgeous.

In Bilbos house:

Gandalf: Bilbo you still have the ring
Bilbo: Oh yes
Bilbo turns and runs while yelling "sucker"

Aosama, the Wandering Star · 05-02-2002, 09:49 PM

Inspired by the "Pillow Fight" sorry, forgot posters name, me bad [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] hope this post makes up for it!
(Setting: Battle of Pelennor Fields, Eowyn's just done her whole "But no living man am I!" speech, but she hasn't killed any winged steeds of evil. yet.)
Merry(taps Witch-King on the back): Um, excuse me, dude, but your flying horse.. skinny bird.. thing.. is really scaring my friends, so, um, y'know, if you could just...
Witch-King: Just what? Just move? Just get out of your way? That's all anyone ever says to me! Not even Sauron or the other Nazgul appreciate me! *bursts into tears* Nazgul have feelings to y'know! I feel... so alone, so unwanted! I'm just doin' my job, y'know? And all these people trying to kill me and all? *turns to Merry* y'know what I mean?
Merry(sympathetically): I'm so sorry, man, I just had no idea... (puts arm around Witch-King) But it'll be okay, right? You'll make some friends, right?
Witch-King: *sniff* do you know of any singles bar that allows me through the door without screamin' or tryin' to kill me?
Merry: Well, I'm always here for you!
Audience: Aww!
Witch-King (wipes eyes): Thanks hobbit dude!
Eowyn (throws down sword in disgust): Ugh! How am I supposed to kill anybody with these two sentimental schmucks in the way? *turns around, starts walking* I'm gonna go play with my Barbies! This is no fun anymore!
Merry: Uh, Eowyn, Rohan is that way (points in opposite direction)
Eowyn: ARGH! (turns around, goes in other direction). I'm telling my Uncle!

[ May 02, 2002: Message edited by: Aosama, the Wandering Star ]

Nevtalathiel · 05-03-2002, 10:53 AM

Aosama, the Wandering Star, you've inspired me:
Setting: as above post
Merry, tapping the Witch-King on the back: Do you mind moving you're winged steed, you've double parked and i can't get my horse out!

Nevfeniel · 05-04-2002, 11:44 AM

With this post, I make the replies on this thread 300.
Now, onto business!
Galadriel and/or Eowyn: No, I'm not a natural blonde! I'm so ashamed for tricking you, Celeborn/Faramir (whichever the case may be)

Birdland · 05-04-2002, 02:50 PM

(In honor of listening to Gang of Four on a Saturday afternoon [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Girls of Gondor to Pippin - "I love a Hobbit in a Uniform!"

Lothiriel Silmarien · 05-04-2002, 04:27 PM

Good post Aosama. I don't care if you borrowed a little from my idea, I'm just happy that I inspired someone....*sniff*,wow I'm corny! oh well, but now I'm gonna think of more quotes cuz I'm bored and I like doing this.

Lanniae of the Axe · 05-04-2002, 04:48 PM

"All that is gold DOES glitter.
All those who wander ARE lost...."
*ouch, that was bad* [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

Frodo: Gee, this whole Ring-detroying business is sure fun! Golly, we should do this more often, huh? Wee! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Legolas: I wish I were a Dwarf. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Gimli: I wish I were an Elf. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Arwen: Hey, whoa, call me a grave-digger, but dang! Mr. Gandalf is SEXAAAAY! :P

Aragorn: Sure, Eowyn, forget Arwen, you're absolutely gorgeous. Let's get married. And while I'm at it, here Eomer, have Narsil.

Boromir: Keep that silly ring, Frodo, Boromir son of Denethor will not be tempted! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Galadriel: Ha, ha, Legolas! Even Gimli agrees I'm prettier than you! :P

And the one thing that a LOTR character would NEVER say:

Elrond: "Men. Men are weak." [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 05-05-2002, 09:38 AM

Aragorn: What are you lot laughing about?
Pippin: Oh nothing......Trotter! A hahaha!
Aragorn: Right, I've had it up to here with these Trotter remarks. Trotter was a hobbit and the original idea for the one who guided you lot to Rivendell. I, Aragorn son of Arathorn, have always been called so, and no 'History of the LOTR' is going to change that. Ok?
Pippin: Ok, chill big guy....
Aragorn: Not until you admit that I'm right, I'm right, aren't I.......MARMADUKE! A hahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Merry: Oh my God! He found out! I'm a laughing stock!
Frodo: It's OK Merry, things turned out fine for us two in the end. Though, I too have nightmares about the name of....BINGO!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 05-05-2002, 09:53 AM

Legolas: I'm out of lembas. Pass me the cram Gimli
Gimli: No, no, it's OK Legolas. Here, you take my lembas and I'll have the cram.
Aragorn: Yes Legolas, I can spare you some lembas too. Gimli and I will take the cram.
Legolas: Look, I can handle it OK?
Gimli: No Legolas, an Elf must have his lembas...
Legolas: Oh, I see! Elves aren't tough enough to live on cram eh?
Aragorn: No Legolas, that's not what we meant at all........well....I suppose.....oh whatever, you're right. Gimli and I think Elves are too prissy to eat good, hard, road food like cram.
Legolas: A Elbereth! Gilthoniel! If you two want to make snide remarks about my race then just spit it out why don't you!
Gimli: Listen here you ponce! Aragorn and I are the backbone of this mission and we'll be dead before we see an Elf try and rough us up!
Legolas: Why I oughtta....
Merry/Pippin: Oh blessed hunters! You've found...
Gimli: Be quiet you dratted hobbits, can't you see we're in the middle of something?
Merry: Well! I see someone doesn't care about our near-death experience. Come on Pip, we're going back to Fangorn.
Legolas: Wait hobbits, I'm coming with you. I do not wish to be with these two barbarians any longer.
Pippin: Oh leave us alone you lanky nuisance. Go back to Mirkwood and strum on a harp.
Legolas: Why does everyone hate me!?
Gandalf: I was gonna keep quiet Legolas but....
Legolas: Mercy!

Lothiriel Silmarien · 05-05-2002, 01:09 PM

lol, good one Eomer!

Nevfeniel · 05-05-2002, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Pippin: Oh leave us alone you lanky nuisance. Go back to Mirkwood and strum on a harp.

[img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] Pippin is so mean!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 05-06-2002, 08:16 AM

I love this thread, it will go on forever.

Pippin: I'm not your clown! *bursts into tears*

Gandalf: Pippin has feelings?

Galadriel: Mirror, mirror, on the water...

Faramir: I'm Slim Shady! Yes I'm the real Shady!
Frodo: Excuse me?
Faramir: Oh...uh...nothing

Denethor: My dog's got no nose, how does he smell?

Elrond: Bloody in-laws, think they know everything...

Elrohir: Screw this, I can get a bigger part in Harry Potter

Aragorn: Come on guys, I mean...I'm the King! I just click my fingers and the girls drop to their knees!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 05-06-2002, 08:25 AM

Arwen: And she said, he said, she said "No way!"
Eowyn: oooh! REALLY?
Arwen: Uh-huh! I was all like "Wow"
Eowyn: Totally! She is, like, sooo selfish!
Arwen: Uh-huh! But I put that hussy in her place
Eowyn: Oh you go girlfriend! Say, can Aragorn REALLY do that?
Arwen: Oh you know!
Eowyn: Now that's what I'm talking about!
Elrond: Keep the noise down girls, I'm trying to sleep! *dratted sleepovers*

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 05-06-2002, 08:30 AM

Lothiriel: Eomer, honey, do you still think Arwen's hotter than me?

Eowyn: Faramir, darling, do you still think Arwen's hotter than me?

Rose: Sam, dear, do you still think Arwen's hotter than me?

Legolas: Y'know Gimli, you get hotter chicks than Arwen in Mirkwood. Oh yeah!

pippin_took0 · 05-06-2002, 09:46 AM

Legolas: Hey, Aragorn, you wanna borrow my shampoo?
Aragorn: Do I ever!

Kyela_Frodo · 05-06-2002, 09:56 AM

LOL grat once here!!!

Some of mine:

Frodo: Sam, I`m glad your with me.
Sam: *smiling* wisphering to him self 'Damn you Aragorn! Just because you are a Big folk kind does not mean that you can make me go with Frodo and be killed on the road to Mordor....

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Elenna · 05-06-2002, 10:00 AM

Legolas: You know, being pretty isn't everything.

Gimli: Dwarf chicks are sooo much hotter

Gimli: Taking another man's wife is wrong

Saruman: I am going to retire and donate all my money to Greenpeace.

Eowyn: Actually, I am in love with Wormtongue, Faramir.

Aragorn: I sew my own banners.

Aragorn: Hmmm, OK Eomer. Screw the Paths of the Dead. Lets go hunt some Orc!

Kyela_Frodo · 05-06-2002, 10:05 AM

and one more [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

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Vinyaampawen · 05-06-2002, 01:23 PM

This thread is hilarious!

By the way Eomer, not to be picky but Arwen lives in Rivendell, not Mirkwood. Legolas came from Mirkwood but Arwen is Elrond's daughter and lives at home with her Daddy and Mommy.

[img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

05-06-2002, 02:50 PM

The one thing ANY LotR character would ever say (thank God)--Waszzup!?! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Lothiriel Silmarien · 05-06-2002, 04:35 PM

Hey what's up my friends, I'm back for another post. Yes, yet another. And right now I'm listening to Hero,the song for the spiderman soundtrack-which by the way, Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott are singing it.And what is that u say....? Is Chad a member of Nickelback?!! Well why in fact, yes he is!!!! He's that gorgeous, hot, good-looking singer dude, and he has such an awesome voice!! Ok I'll shut-up about them now and I'll just get to the post. Sorry, but I had to do that! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

(inspired by A Night at the Roxbury)
*at the council of Elrond*
Pippin: Hey Merry, is that a mirror in your pocket?

Merry: Bad one Pippin, I heard that.

Pippin: Damn!....Hey Aragorn, is that a..

Aragorn: Heard that from Arwen already, and obviously that pick-up line worked.

Pippin:....ok..uh, Hey Frodo is that a mirror..

Frodo: In my pocket? Sorry Pippin, I know that too.

Pippin: Damn you people! Ooh! Sam, hey is that a mirror in your pocket?

Sam:....what? why?

Pippin: Cuz I can see myself in your pants!....Ok, yeah that would work better if I said that to a girl, perhaps.

Sam: Yeah, but that's a good one. I'll use that on Rosie, maybe she'll go for it!

Elrond: Excuse me Pippin and Sam...this is a council meeting about very important matters going on, not some joke session! The Dark Lord is trying to take over the world and we have to figure out how to destroy him!! *Elrond walks over to Pippin and looks at the back of his shirt*

Pippin: What are you doing?

Elrond: Checking your label, just as I thought....made in heaven!

Lothiriel Silmarien · 05-06-2002, 04:38 PM

Ahh, nothing like good corny lines...ok yeah a little too corny, but still.

Tarthang · 05-06-2002, 07:48 PM

Manwe: Ok, who forgot to pay the electric bill this time?

Morgoth: Stop the violence!

Merry & Pippin: Take a stand!

Feanor to Morgoth: Quite all right ol' chap, no real harm done, all is forgiven.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 05-08-2002, 05:12 AM

Vinyaampawen

I never said Arwen lived in Mirkwood! I just said that Legolas thinks that there's hotter Elves than Arwen and these said hot elves happen to live in Mirkwood, which is where Legolas would see hot elves, being from Mirkwood and all.

Arwen does live with her Daddy but her Mommy's gone

back to the point....

Aragorn: They were once men.....but one quick call to New Beginnings.....

(that's a bit obscure, I know)

Pippin: I was thinking dreadlocks....

Frodo: Sometimes I look in the mirror and think 'Damn, I'll never be able to kiss that gorgeous face'

Celeborn: Let's order a Chinese

Gandalf: Sometimes I....I get so...so afraid

Gollum: Hey Everybody! Sssssurf's up!

04-25-2002, 08:09 PM	#282
Mr. Frodo Pile O'Bones Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Bag-End Posts: 13	LOL! These are great, they are so funny! Sam: What the hell is in elf? Frodo: I need a hug. a few million teenage girls fight to be the one who gives him a hug Legolas: I need a hug. teenage girls leave Frodo Eowyn: Ewww! Strider has cooties! Frodo: So let me make sure I understand this, Elrond. You are going to send four of the most sheltered people in Middle Earth, who don't even know which end of the sword to hold, and one of whom's voice is still changing to do WHAT?!? No @#$%^&* way! Pippin: (looking at feet) Maybe I should shave that. Orc in Cirith Ungol: What the hell is wrong with his feet? Hobbits tap dancing (Inside joke alert!) An elf singing off key A manly looking elf Aragorn: I think I'll take a nice bubble bath and listen to my Enya CD. Dernhelm: (PMSing) Nobody understands me! Where is my midol?!? starts to cry Theoden: There's something wrong with that boy. __________________ "By Elbereth and Luthien the Fair, you shall have neither the Ring nor me!" (I'm the only girl in my school LOTR obssessed enough to call myself Mr. Frodo)

04-25-2002, 10:04 PM	#283
non_conformist13 Pile O'Bones Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: mars Posts: 12	saruman to sauron: are you feeling okay? your eye is a little red. sauron: yeah, so i've killed, and destroyed, and terrorized people in middle earth for a long time, but does anyone care when i have a bad day? (giant flaming tears fall) elves: (wearing T-shirts) "never underestimate the power of stupid people (Men) in large groups. sauron: i'm thinking of getting my eyelid pierced. gandalf: another grass stain? and in my white robe too! this will never come out! i guess they'll have to change my name to Gandalf the Slightly Greenish. drat. aragorn to gandalf: and all this time, i thought that ring on your finger was of a wife that you never told anyone about! bilbo flipping through his books: oh, paper cut! __________________ "I can add some more if you like it, calling your Chief names, wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and thinking you Sheriffs look a lot of Tom-fools!" Samwise Gamgee Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed, by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

04-26-2002, 04:28 PM	#286
Nevfeniel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mithlond Posts: 783	Sauron: Hm, should I get color contacts? [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] __________________ Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings.

04-27-2002, 04:36 PM	#288
Lothiriel Silmarien Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New York Posts: 829	Witch King to the other Nazguls: Come on you guys we're already so late. Nazgul #4: Wait, I'm almost done. It's so hard being a Nazgul and all. Black just so isn't my color! I'm more of a pinkish you know? All other Nazguls agree, but one replies in a slightly gayish voice; "I hear you sista!" Nazguls pause* Then they get back to talking about how pink is more their color. Witch King: Hey shut the f* up u f* pansies, we're f* nazguls not f*** hobbits. Sam and Frodo walk by Frodo: Hey excuuuze me! Are you trying to imply that we're gay! Sam: Yeah cuz we are so not! Sam has his hand in Frodo's back pocket. Nazguls stare at them for a few moments* "You know what, black is more our color...." Sorry, no offense to hobbits. I love hobbitses:-) __________________ Si vanwa na Romello vanwa Valimar!~~ ~~Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar! My LotR page

04-27-2002, 07:04 PM	#289
Gimli Son Of Gloin Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: The Halls of Montezuma, and the Shores of Tripoli Posts: 495	Bilbo at his party; OK everyone, I have two rules at my party here. The first is no smoking pipes and the second is no drinking. Thank you. [ May 02, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ] __________________ The Few, the Proud, the Marines.

04-26-2002, 12:26 PM	#285
pippin_took0 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 82	Aragorn, when he sees Eowyn: Arwen, Arwen, you're engaged to Arwen, think Arwen...

04-28-2002, 08:03 AM	#290
Nevfeniel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mithlond Posts: 783	This is inspired by a short story called The Necklace. Frodo: Gandalf, I lost the ring. Gandalf: What do you mean? You returned it. Frodo: That was a replacement Sam and I bought. Gandalf: But the ring I lent you was just paste! Frodo: [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] __________________ Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings.

04-30-2002, 05:38 PM	#291
serin Guest Posts: n/a	Frodo: im not takin it you take it Aragorn: what you takin bout frodo Legolas: shut up short round [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

04-30-2002, 06:01 PM	#292
Lothiriel Silmarien Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New York Posts: 829	Nazguls stop at Bree gate (this was inspired by one of the quotes above, sorry forgot the person's name): Nazgul to Frodo: Hey,um excuse me, I'm terribly sorry for disturbing you, but you see, my boss, a rather uncharming grumpy eye who is very controlling, but also a splendid guy once you get to know him, but he has me and my other friends here with me, (Nazguls wave and say hello) well, he has us looking for this short little dude with a ring that is supposedly his, and he wants us to get the...um.... little person and bring him back to him...and see, Frodo: Are you almost done, I get what your saying. You want to know if I've seen this "little dude", by the way, we're hobbits, and you want us to tell you where this hobbit is am I right? Nazgul: Oh yes, that would be most helpful! Frodo: Oh yeah, I'm sorry, he....died.. yeah he was in a terrible..uh...pillow fighting contest...yeah, he got savagedly beat in the head. Poor ol' guy, a good friend of mine too! Nazgul: emotional Oh, oh I'm really very sorry. That's so awful. Yeah, I once knew this wight who was killed by a flying boar. Hard for me too, he was a beloved friend of mine. Well, um I guess you wouldn't happen to know where this ring is would you? Frodo: No, sorry I don't. Nazgul: Ok, well I'll just have to go back and tell the master that I couldn't find it. Yeah, he won't be too happy, but what can I do......pillow fight fighting back a tear, oh it sounds brutal, very sad. Ok, well gooday to you sir hobbit and I'm sorry about your friend. Frodo: Ok thank you very much Nazgul dude, good luck with the whole dead thing. It must be hard to keep warm and stuff. Nazgul: Oh thank you, yeah and my fingers keep decaying too, but nothing much. Toodles! Frodo: thinking to himself. Wow, They live for thousands of years and you'd think they would only get smarter... __________________ Si vanwa na Romello vanwa Valimar!~~ ~~Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar! My LotR page

04-30-2002, 08:36 PM	#293
Nevfeniel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mithlond Posts: 783	Ha! That's a good one, Lothiriel Silmarien! Poor Frodo, a pillow-fighting contest. Sam must be really depressed. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] __________________ Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings.

04-30-2002, 09:19 PM	#294
NyteSky Haunting Spirit Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Tower of Sorcery and Lore Posts: 76	Sauron: Lord of the Rings? Who wants that? It is so passe. From now on I'm Lord of the Earrings! Or maybe noserings... Saruman: Have you hugged a tree today? Elrond at Council: Frodo! Raise your hand and wait to be called on! Goblins: Welcome to Moria! Visit historic Balin's tomb or enjoy our excellent restaurant, Durin's Diner. Stop at the gift shop on your way out and don't forget to tip the Balrog! I could keep going but i don't want to be shunned for the rest of my life. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Ha, there are some hilarious ones up here, "Sam: "Workers everywhere, UNITE!" (ElanorGamgee) Lol! __________________ The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. AIM: NightSky717 Email/msn IM: davidone_2000@msn.com

05-02-2002, 01:56 PM	#295
Lothiriel Silmarien Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New York Posts: 829	Thanks Nevfeniel [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Finally someone read one of my quote thingys!!!! Yeah, Sam would be all depressed and stuff. Sam will have to find someone else and he definetly won't be happy about that! lol __________________ Si vanwa na Romello vanwa Valimar!~~ ~~Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar! My LotR page

05-02-2002, 02:02 PM	#296
Kyela_Frodo Pile O'Bones Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: The Shire Posts: 14	This is somthing I could not imagine Frodo say to Sam: Frodo: Sam, you can`t have Rosy! Shes mine! God damn Rosy`s butt is so sexy! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] __________________ Visit my site: http://www.geocities.com/kyela_frodo By Mia K. http://www.geocities.com/kyela_frodo/I_see_you.jpg

05-02-2002, 05:49 PM	#297
Celebmundoiel Animated Skeleton Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Lothlorien Posts: 32	Legolas: I'm every do gorgeous. In Bilbos house: Gandalf: Bilbo you still have the ring Bilbo: Oh yes Bilbo turns and runs while yelling "sucker" __________________ Roaming in the night through the shadows. You cannot hear me, you cannot see me. I am as agile as a cat. As I run I am low to the ground. I climb trees in a second and run on the branches as if they were the earth’s surface. My appearance is deceitful, I can take life as well as spare. I am Celebmundoiel.

05-02-2002, 09:49 PM	#298
Aosama, the Wandering Star Wight Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle-Earth Posts: 210	Inspired by the "Pillow Fight" sorry, forgot posters name, me bad [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] hope this post makes up for it! (Setting: Battle of Pelennor Fields, Eowyn's just done her whole "But no living man am I!" speech, but she hasn't killed any winged steeds of evil. yet.) Merry(taps Witch-King on the back): Um, excuse me, dude, but your flying horse.. skinny bird.. thing.. is really scaring my friends, so, um, y'know, if you could just... Witch-King: Just what? Just move? Just get out of your way? That's all anyone ever says to me! Not even Sauron or the other Nazgul appreciate me! bursts into tears Nazgul have feelings to y'know! I feel... so alone, so unwanted! I'm just doin' my job, y'know? And all these people trying to kill me and all? turns to Merry y'know what I mean? Merry(sympathetically): I'm so sorry, man, I just had no idea... (puts arm around Witch-King) But it'll be okay, right? You'll make some friends, right? Witch-King: sniff do you know of any singles bar that allows me through the door without screamin' or tryin' to kill me? Merry: Well, I'm always here for you! Audience: Aww! Witch-King (wipes eyes): Thanks hobbit dude! Eowyn (throws down sword in disgust): Ugh! How am I supposed to kill anybody with these two sentimental schmucks in the way? turns around, starts walking I'm gonna go play with my Barbies! This is no fun anymore! Merry: Uh, Eowyn, Rohan is that way (points in opposite direction) Eowyn: ARGH! (turns around, goes in other direction). I'm telling my Uncle! [ May 02, 2002: Message edited by: Aosama, the Wandering Star ]

05-03-2002, 10:53 AM	#299
Nevtalathiel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The depths of delusion Posts: 374	Aosama, the Wandering Star, you've inspired me: Setting: as above post Merry, tapping the Witch-King on the back: Do you mind moving you're winged steed, you've double parked and i can't get my horse out! __________________ "You can go a long way with a smile. You can go even further with a smile and a gun." - Al Capone

05-04-2002, 11:44 AM	#300
Nevfeniel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mithlond Posts: 783	With this post, I make the replies on this thread 300. Now, onto business! Galadriel and/or Eowyn: No, I'm not a natural blonde! I'm so ashamed for tricking you, Celeborn/Faramir (whichever the case may be) __________________ Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings.

05-04-2002, 02:50 PM	#301
Birdland Ghastly Neekerbreeker Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: the banks of the mighty Scioto Posts: 1,751	(In honor of listening to Gang of Four on a Saturday afternoon [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Girls of Gondor to Pippin - "I love a Hobbit in a Uniform!"

05-04-2002, 04:27 PM	#302
Lothiriel Silmarien Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New York Posts: 829	Good post Aosama. I don't care if you borrowed a little from my idea, I'm just happy that I inspired someone....sniff,wow I'm corny! oh well, but now I'm gonna think of more quotes cuz I'm bored and I like doing this. __________________ Si vanwa na Romello vanwa Valimar!~~ ~~Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar! My LotR page

05-04-2002, 04:48 PM	#303
Lanniae of the Axe Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Erebor, Middle earth :) Posts: 68	"All that is gold DOES glitter. All those who wander ARE lost...." ouch, that was bad [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] Frodo: Gee, this whole Ring-detroying business is sure fun! Golly, we should do this more often, huh? Wee! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Legolas: I wish I were a Dwarf. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] Gimli: I wish I were an Elf. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] Arwen: Hey, whoa, call me a grave-digger, but dang! Mr. Gandalf is SEXAAAAY! :P Aragorn: Sure, Eowyn, forget Arwen, you're absolutely gorgeous. Let's get married. And while I'm at it, here Eomer, have Narsil. Boromir: Keep that silly ring, Frodo, Boromir son of Denethor will not be tempted! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Galadriel: Ha, ha, Legolas! Even Gimli agrees I'm prettier than you! :P And the one thing that a LOTR character would NEVER say: Elrond: "Men. Men are weak." [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] __________________ Oh! Ooh! Join my yahoogroup: True to Tolkien!http://groups.yahoo.com/group/true2tolkien/

05-05-2002, 09:38 AM	#304
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Aragorn: What are you lot laughing about? Pippin: Oh nothing......Trotter! A hahaha! Aragorn: Right, I've had it up to here with these Trotter remarks. Trotter was a hobbit and the original idea for the one who guided you lot to Rivendell. I, Aragorn son of Arathorn, have always been called so, and no 'History of the LOTR' is going to change that. Ok? Pippin: Ok, chill big guy.... Aragorn: Not until you admit that I'm right, I'm right, aren't I.......MARMADUKE! A hahahahahahahahaha!!!! Merry: Oh my God! He found out! I'm a laughing stock! Frodo: It's OK Merry, things turned out fine for us two in the end. Though, I too have nightmares about the name of....BINGO! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

05-05-2002, 09:53 AM	#305
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Legolas: I'm out of lembas. Pass me the cram Gimli Gimli: No, no, it's OK Legolas. Here, you take my lembas and I'll have the cram. Aragorn: Yes Legolas, I can spare you some lembas too. Gimli and I will take the cram. Legolas: Look, I can handle it OK? Gimli: No Legolas, an Elf must have his lembas... Legolas: Oh, I see! Elves aren't tough enough to live on cram eh? Aragorn: No Legolas, that's not what we meant at all........well....I suppose.....oh whatever, you're right. Gimli and I think Elves are too prissy to eat good, hard, road food like cram. Legolas: A Elbereth! Gilthoniel! If you two want to make snide remarks about my race then just spit it out why don't you! Gimli: Listen here you ponce! Aragorn and I are the backbone of this mission and we'll be dead before we see an Elf try and rough us up! Legolas: Why I oughtta.... Merry/Pippin: Oh blessed hunters! You've found... Gimli: Be quiet you dratted hobbits, can't you see we're in the middle of something? Merry: Well! I see someone doesn't care about our near-death experience. Come on Pip, we're going back to Fangorn. Legolas: Wait hobbits, I'm coming with you. I do not wish to be with these two barbarians any longer. Pippin: Oh leave us alone you lanky nuisance. Go back to Mirkwood and strum on a harp. Legolas: Why does everyone hate me!? Gandalf: I was gonna keep quiet Legolas but.... Legolas: Mercy! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

05-05-2002, 01:09 PM	#306
Lothiriel Silmarien Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New York Posts: 829	lol, good one Eomer! __________________ Si vanwa na Romello vanwa Valimar!~~ ~~Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar! My LotR page

05-06-2002, 08:16 AM	#308
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	I love this thread, it will go on forever. Pippin: I'm not your clown! bursts into tears Gandalf: Pippin has feelings? Galadriel: Mirror, mirror, on the water... Faramir: I'm Slim Shady! Yes I'm the real Shady! Frodo: Excuse me? Faramir: Oh...uh...nothing Denethor: My dog's got no nose, how does he smell? Elrond: Bloody in-laws, think they know everything... Elrohir: Screw this, I can get a bigger part in Harry Potter Aragorn: Come on guys, I mean...I'm the King! I just click my fingers and the girls drop to their knees! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

05-06-2002, 08:25 AM	#309
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Arwen: And she said, he said, she said "No way!" Eowyn: oooh! REALLY? Arwen: Uh-huh! I was all like "Wow" Eowyn: Totally! She is, like, sooo selfish! Arwen: Uh-huh! But I put that hussy in her place Eowyn: Oh you go girlfriend! Say, can Aragorn REALLY do that? Arwen: Oh you know! Eowyn: Now that's what I'm talking about! Elrond: Keep the noise down girls, I'm trying to sleep! dratted sleepovers __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

05-06-2002, 08:30 AM	#310
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Lothiriel: Eomer, honey, do you still think Arwen's hotter than me? Eowyn: Faramir, darling, do you still think Arwen's hotter than me? Rose: Sam, dear, do you still think Arwen's hotter than me? Legolas: Y'know Gimli, you get hotter chicks than Arwen in Mirkwood. Oh yeah! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

05-06-2002, 09:46 AM	#311
pippin_took0 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 82	Legolas: Hey, Aragorn, you wanna borrow my shampoo? Aragorn: Do I ever!

05-06-2002, 09:56 AM	#312
Kyela_Frodo Pile O'Bones Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: The Shire Posts: 14	LOL grat once here!!! Some of mine: Frodo: Sam, I`m glad your with me. Sam: smiling wisphering to him self 'Damn you Aragorn! Just because you are a Big folk kind does not mean that you can make me go with Frodo and be killed on the road to Mordor.... Code: <td><img height=150 width=500 src="http://www.geocities.com/kyela_frodo/fotr_comic.jpg" border=0 ></td> </tr></table></div> __________________ Visit my site: http://www.geocities.com/kyela_frodo By Mia K. http://www.geocities.com/kyela_frodo/I_see_you.jpg

05-06-2002, 10:00 AM	#313
Elenna A Ghostly Light Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: My private bubble of innocence Posts: 563	Legolas: You know, being pretty isn't everything. Gimli: Dwarf chicks are sooo much hotter Gimli: Taking another man's wife is wrong Saruman: I am going to retire and donate all my money to Greenpeace. Eowyn: Actually, I am in love with Wormtongue, Faramir. Aragorn: I sew my own banners. Aragorn: Hmmm, OK Eomer. Screw the Paths of the Dead. Lets go hunt some Orc! __________________ If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

05-06-2002, 10:05 AM	#314
Kyela_Frodo Pile O'Bones Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: The Shire Posts: 14	and one more [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Code: <td><img height=150 width=500 src="http://www.geocities.com/kyela_frodo/scifi070.jpg" border=0 ></td> </tr></table></div> __________________ Visit my site: http://www.geocities.com/kyela_frodo By Mia K. http://www.geocities.com/kyela_frodo/I_see_you.jpg

05-06-2002, 01:23 PM	#315
Vinyaampawen Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Rivendell, Middle Earth Posts: 30	This thread is hilarious! By the way Eomer, not to be picky but Arwen lives in Rivendell, not Mirkwood. Legolas came from Mirkwood but Arwen is Elrond's daughter and lives at home with her Daddy and Mommy. [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] __________________ Vinyaampawen

05-06-2002, 02:50 PM	#316
silverpunk Guest Posts: n/a	The one thing ANY LotR character would ever say (thank God)--Waszzup!?! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

05-06-2002, 04:35 PM	#317
Lothiriel Silmarien Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New York Posts: 829	Hey what's up my friends, I'm back for another post. Yes, yet another. And right now I'm listening to Hero,the song for the spiderman soundtrack-which by the way, Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott are singing it.And what is that u say....? Is Chad a member of Nickelback?!! Well why in fact, yes he is!!!! He's that gorgeous, hot, good-looking singer dude, and he has such an awesome voice!! Ok I'll shut-up about them now and I'll just get to the post. Sorry, but I had to do that! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] (inspired by A Night at the Roxbury) at the council of Elrond Pippin: Hey Merry, is that a mirror in your pocket? Merry: Bad one Pippin, I heard that. Pippin: Damn!....Hey Aragorn, is that a.. Aragorn: Heard that from Arwen already, and obviously that pick-up line worked. Pippin:....ok..uh, Hey Frodo is that a mirror.. Frodo: In my pocket? Sorry Pippin, I know that too. Pippin: Damn you people! Ooh! Sam, hey is that a mirror in your pocket? Sam:....what? why? Pippin: Cuz I can see myself in your pants!....Ok, yeah that would work better if I said that to a girl, perhaps. Sam: Yeah, but that's a good one. I'll use that on Rosie, maybe she'll go for it! Elrond: Excuse me Pippin and Sam...this is a council meeting about very important matters going on, not some joke session! The Dark Lord is trying to take over the world and we have to figure out how to destroy him!! Elrond walks over to Pippin and looks at the back of his shirt Pippin: What are you doing? Elrond: Checking your label, just as I thought....made in heaven! __________________ Si vanwa na Romello vanwa Valimar!~~ ~~Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar! My LotR page

05-06-2002, 04:38 PM	#318
Lothiriel Silmarien Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New York Posts: 829	Ahh, nothing like good corny lines...ok yeah a little too corny, but still. __________________ Si vanwa na Romello vanwa Valimar!~~ ~~Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar! My LotR page

05-06-2002, 07:48 PM	#319
Tarthang Wight Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Paths of the Dead Posts: 108	Manwe: Ok, who forgot to pay the electric bill this time? Morgoth: Stop the violence! Merry & Pippin: Take a stand! Feanor to Morgoth: Quite all right ol' chap, no real harm done, all is forgiven.