A Legolas Diary?! - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Samwise_Gamgee · 10-19-2002, 10:48 AM

Sorry if this topic has already been started, I just find it funny:

Day 1: Dear diary,
Went to Rivendell for Council of Elrond, boring! And to make it even more boring, Boromir started this fancy talk, I brushed my hair to keep myself occupied. Then that fool of a dwarf tried to break the One Ring, why would he do that? I mean it's so pretty! Not as pretty as me mind you. I think I missed the whole plot of this Council, but ya know, I can't have a snarl in my pretty hair. So setting out from Rivendell to Mordor. You know, that Frodo is kinda cute, I wonder what his servant would do if I tried anything...

<<Next!>> [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

hobbitlass · 10-19-2002, 11:12 AM

Day 2

I cannot believe I am out here! How did I get myself into this? All I remember is the talk talk talk and then? Oh yea! Everyone started jumping behind this Frodo guy, and well, I can't be left behind. I'm one of the cool elves.
I swear though, all this direct sunlight can't be good for the complexion. After all, I live in Mirkwood!

10-19-2002, 11:51 AM

day 3 oh my gosh there are flies out here and it is getting cold. why did i have to do any of this. we are going where again.....oh yah. why would we want to distroy a ring that is powerful you now it could make me rich you know by selling it at a store.

Elenna · 10-19-2002, 12:14 PM

Day Four:

Fought some orcs today. Aragorn got a little scratched up! Hooray! Now I am undoubtedly the prettiest! Now I have to find someone to mess up Pippin...

Question of the day: Why did Sauron pick GOLD for the One Ring? Silver is SO much more flattering for that dark skin tone and those red eyes!

Reyna Evergreen · 10-19-2002, 02:01 PM

Day 5
All this running around is killing my nails. I mean, when is the next time an elf like me can find a good manacurist? Not likely. And Aragorn, who is still obviously not prettier than me, says we should go to Moria. My hair!

Diamond18 · 10-19-2002, 05:27 PM

Day 6

I will shoot the next person who makes a girly Legolas joke. Is it my fault that I am naturally beautiful like all other members of my speices? How many orcs do I have to kill in spectacular fashion before I get any respect? I tell you, I get no respect! On one side there are mindless teeny-boppers raving about my looks who will undoubtedly forget about my very existence a year or two from now (or when Faramir enters the picture. I may be naturally beautiful without even trying, but HE is the one who has to spend hours in front of the mirror, mere dirty smelly mortal that he is). On the other side, there are the jealous males who feel they have to insult me to compensate for their shortcomings! I get no respect!

Eru, if I have to put up with much more of this I will become a very bitter Elf. A very bitter Elf with an unlimited supply of arrows, by the way.

Samwise_Gamgee · 10-19-2002, 07:53 PM

Day 7: Went through Mines, and Gimli keeps whining about his cousin, I mean I lost lots of pretty elves fighting that ugly Sauron. (He needs a makeover) Anyway, my hair was a mess, and it was so hard to brush it in the dark, but all is well with it now! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I would offer my brush to Aragorn and Boromir, but to risk having their filthy smelly hair on my brush is just so icky! Gandalf gone, Frodo sad, I wonder how I can help him....Sam looked at me funny, I think he suspects something between me and Frodo, but I think he's even more suspicious of Aragorn, the guy tried to touch Frodo in the Mines. Where? I don't know it was to dark, but I don't think I wanna know... [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

hobbitlass · 10-20-2002, 03:29 PM

Day 8

Finally!! We're at Lothlorien. I am with kindred. Beauty and baths surround me. I am still thee BEST. But I have alot to think about. Galadriel put thoughts into my head that I would get a LIFETIME membership to her dayspa if I left the quest. Decisons. Decisions.

Allright, I have decided to continue on the quest because if I stay I won't get the glory that is rightfully mine.

In the mean time....oooooh this mallorn-mud bath is divine!

gralin musicteeth · 10-20-2002, 04:33 PM

Day 9
We're in boats now, going down the river. This wind is notgood for my hair. It might get all tangly. We've just passed these big dudes made of stone. I wonder if I will get a statue when I get all the glory? I would definitely look better than those old kings stuck up there like boiled owls! As long as somebody made sure no moss grows in my nose. Eeew icky! But I'm beginning to regret coming on this trip. Why doesn't Frodo sit here in my boat instead of stinky old Gimli? I wonder what's going on over there in Aragorn's boat? it seems tippy....

VanimaEdhel · 10-20-2002, 05:29 PM

Day 10

Boromir is dead! And I got mud in my hair. Oh well, I brought my Herbal Essences Elf-Wash with me, so: I took care of it.

And poor Merry and Pippin were captured by those horrible Uruk-Hai and Orcs. What is with the Orcs's piercings? I mean, my little diamond stud is tasteful, but: all of these nose-rings? Please!

Oh well...must help *ugh* cook! Why do they make me do manual labor? I wish I had brought my butler with me...*sigh* well: bye diary!

Love,
Legolas (with a little curly-cue on the "s")

Diamond18 · 10-20-2002, 08:19 PM

Newly discovered, this is what was written in invisible ink between the lines of Day 10's entry:

Today I killed Boromir. He made one too many girly Legolas jokes, and I just snapped. This is how it happened. We were all looking for Frodo, and I encountered Boromir. He said he didn't know where Frodo was, but I, with my Elf sense, sensed that something was not right. I confronted him about it, and he made derisive remarks about my masculinity. I don't remember what he said exactly, because my mind clouded with anger at this point.

So, I shot him full of arrows. Then, wouldn't you know it, Merry and Pippin happened by. I used some Elven mind tricks on them, and made them believe that a band of marauding orcs had come by. They believed me, but as luck would have it, just then a band of marauding orcs did come by.

They captured Merry and Pippin. I was going to help, but then I remembered that they like to make jokes about me too. They whisper them to each other, but with my Elf ears I could hear them! So, I let the Orcs get away.

My father used to tell me that my temper would one day lead me to do something I would regret, and I suppose he was right. Except that I don't really regret killing Boromir. Hmmmm... But I do feel kind of bad about Merry and Pippin. After all, they're just dumb little hobbits who don't know any better.

So I'll help look for them. Anyway, I can't lose face with Aragorn and Gimli. You shuld have seen the fuss Aragorn made about Boromir...

Gotta go. Time to run across the plains of Rohan.

All right, all right, but Legolas as a psychopath was just too good to pass up...

Elenna · 10-21-2002, 05:07 PM

Day 11:

Well, we've been frolicking across the lovely green plains of Rohan for a day now. My hair looks great, streaming in the cool breeze. I'm even carrying some pink ribbons to augment the beauty. Aragorn keeps looking at me and shaking his head whenever I try to give him some ribbons. Gimli absolutely refused to carry them, but I tied them to the back of his armor. Stupid dwarf.

I hope some pretty Rohan boys come out and see us frolicking like this.

VanimaEdhel · 10-23-2002, 05:30 PM

Another invisible ink entry is found...

Oooo! Aragorn gave me the eye today! I think he really likes me! What does Arwen have that I do not? Tell me that, please!

Day 12
Elbereth Gilthoniel! Does Gimli never use Calvin Klein "Obssession" cologne? He really should start using some. I did not sleep a wink last night, because I kept smelling him! I was awake when the other two went to sleep and I was awake when they woke up. Maybe I will kidnap Gimli in the night and give him a bath...

Day 13
Joy of joys, Gimli is a girl! I knew I was drawn to him and this proves all of the others wrong for what they said about my preference! Gimli is really and truly a girl! It is interesting, for all female dwarves look like male dwarves. You could hardly tell the difference. But I found out! And now I have found my true love! We will go off together! I will be in a beautiful (crossed out word, clearly saying "skirt") tunic and she will wear a dress! A, aur meren (Ah, joyous day)! Well, I must be off to (crossed out words, clearly saying "frolic in the grass") search for Merry and Pippin and (crossed out words saying "daydream about my true love") prepare for my future, whatever that may be!

Diamond18 · 10-23-2002, 06:21 PM

I love invisible ink. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I can't think of anything else for our dangerously unbalanced young frolicking elf (this is too funny). Carry on.

10-19-2002, 10:48 AM	#1
Samwise_Gamgee Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Middle-Earth Posts: 68	A Legolas Diary?! Sorry if this topic has already been started, I just find it funny: Day 1: Dear diary, Went to Rivendell for Council of Elrond, boring! And to make it even more boring, Boromir started this fancy talk, I brushed my hair to keep myself occupied. Then that fool of a dwarf tried to break the One Ring, why would he do that? I mean it's so pretty! Not as pretty as me mind you. I think I missed the whole plot of this Council, but ya know, I can't have a snarl in my pretty hair. So setting out from Rivendell to Mordor. You know, that Frodo is kinda cute, I wonder what his servant would do if I tried anything... <<Next!>> [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] __________________ "Your bodygaurd?" "His Gardner"

10-19-2002, 11:12 AM	#2
hobbitlass Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: next to the fire keeping warm Posts: 471	Day 2 I cannot believe I am out here! How did I get myself into this? All I remember is the talk talk talk and then? Oh yea! Everyone started jumping behind this Frodo guy, and well, I can't be left behind. I'm one of the cool elves. I swear though, all this direct sunlight can't be good for the complexion. After all, I live in Mirkwood! __________________ Just because a person has the right to do something doesn't make it the right thing to do.

10-19-2002, 12:14 PM	#4
Elenna A Ghostly Light Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: My private bubble of innocence Posts: 563	Day Four: Fought some orcs today. Aragorn got a little scratched up! Hooray! Now I am undoubtedly the prettiest! Now I have to find someone to mess up Pippin... Question of the day: Why did Sauron pick GOLD for the One Ring? Silver is SO much more flattering for that dark skin tone and those red eyes! __________________ If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

10-19-2002, 02:01 PM	#5
Reyna Evergreen Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, Canada Posts: 69	Day 5 All this running around is killing my nails. I mean, when is the next time an elf like me can find a good manacurist? Not likely. And Aragorn, who is still obviously not prettier than me, says we should go to Moria. My hair! __________________ "Utúlie 'n aurë! Aiya Eldalië ar Atanatári, utúlie 'n aurë!" The day has come! Behold, people of the Eldar and Fathers of Men, day has come!

10-19-2002, 05:27 PM	#6
Diamond18 Eidolon of a Took Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: my own private fantasy world Posts: 3,460	Day 6 I will shoot the next person who makes a girly Legolas joke. Is it my fault that I am naturally beautiful like all other members of my speices? How many orcs do I have to kill in spectacular fashion before I get any respect? I tell you, I get no respect! On one side there are mindless teeny-boppers raving about my looks who will undoubtedly forget about my very existence a year or two from now (or when Faramir enters the picture. I may be naturally beautiful without even trying, but HE is the one who has to spend hours in front of the mirror, mere dirty smelly mortal that he is). On the other side, there are the jealous males who feel they have to insult me to compensate for their shortcomings! I get no respect! Eru, if I have to put up with much more of this I will become a very bitter Elf. A very bitter Elf with an unlimited supply of arrows, by the way. __________________ All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression.

10-19-2002, 11:51 AM	#3
Legolasisa*hotty Guest Posts: n/a	day 3 oh my gosh there are flies out here and it is getting cold. why did i have to do any of this. we are going where again.....oh yah. why would we want to distroy a ring that is powerful you now it could make me rich you know by selling it at a store.

10-19-2002, 07:53 PM	#7
Samwise_Gamgee Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Middle-Earth Posts: 68	Day 7: Went through Mines, and Gimli keeps whining about his cousin, I mean I lost lots of pretty elves fighting that ugly Sauron. (He needs a makeover) Anyway, my hair was a mess, and it was so hard to brush it in the dark, but all is well with it now! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I would offer my brush to Aragorn and Boromir, but to risk having their filthy smelly hair on my brush is just so icky! Gandalf gone, Frodo sad, I wonder how I can help him....Sam looked at me funny, I think he suspects something between me and Frodo, but I think he's even more suspicious of Aragorn, the guy tried to touch Frodo in the Mines. Where? I don't know it was to dark, but I don't think I wanna know... [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] __________________ "Your bodygaurd?" "His Gardner"

10-20-2002, 03:29 PM	#8
hobbitlass Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: next to the fire keeping warm Posts: 471	Day 8 Finally!! We're at Lothlorien. I am with kindred. Beauty and baths surround me. I am still thee BEST. But I have alot to think about. Galadriel put thoughts into my head that I would get a LIFETIME membership to her dayspa if I left the quest. Decisons. Decisions. Allright, I have decided to continue on the quest because if I stay I won't get the glory that is rightfully mine. In the mean time....oooooh this mallorn-mud bath is divine! __________________ Just because a person has the right to do something doesn't make it the right thing to do.

10-20-2002, 04:33 PM	#9
gralin musicteeth Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Tossing half-sick between grotesque reality and savage, frightening dreams Posts: 360	Day 9 We're in boats now, going down the river. This wind is notgood for my hair. It might get all tangly. We've just passed these big dudes made of stone. I wonder if I will get a statue when I get all the glory? I would definitely look better than those old kings stuck up there like boiled owls! As long as somebody made sure no moss grows in my nose. Eeew icky! But I'm beginning to regret coming on this trip. Why doesn't Frodo sit here in my boat instead of stinky old Gimli? I wonder what's going on over there in Aragorn's boat? it seems tippy.... __________________ Where was the stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call Poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?

10-20-2002, 05:29 PM	#10
VanimaEdhel Etheral Enchantress Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wellesley College! Posts: 1,461	Day 10 Boromir is dead! And I got mud in my hair. Oh well, I brought my Herbal Essences Elf-Wash with me, so: I took care of it. And poor Merry and Pippin were captured by those horrible Uruk-Hai and Orcs. What is with the Orcs's piercings? I mean, my little diamond stud is tasteful, but: all of these nose-rings? Please! Oh well...must help ugh cook! Why do they make me do manual labor? I wish I had brought my butler with me...sigh well: bye diary! Love, Legolas (with a little curly-cue on the "s") __________________ "I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time." - Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes

10-20-2002, 08:19 PM	#11
Diamond18 Eidolon of a Took Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: my own private fantasy world Posts: 3,460	Newly discovered, this is what was written in invisible ink between the lines of Day 10's entry: Today I killed Boromir. He made one too many girly Legolas jokes, and I just snapped. This is how it happened. We were all looking for Frodo, and I encountered Boromir. He said he didn't know where Frodo was, but I, with my Elf sense, sensed that something was not right. I confronted him about it, and he made derisive remarks about my masculinity. I don't remember what he said exactly, because my mind clouded with anger at this point. So, I shot him full of arrows. Then, wouldn't you know it, Merry and Pippin happened by. I used some Elven mind tricks on them, and made them believe that a band of marauding orcs had come by. They believed me, but as luck would have it, just then a band of marauding orcs did come by. They captured Merry and Pippin. I was going to help, but then I remembered that they like to make jokes about me too. They whisper them to each other, but with my Elf ears I could hear them! So, I let the Orcs get away. My father used to tell me that my temper would one day lead me to do something I would regret, and I suppose he was right. Except that I don't really regret killing Boromir. Hmmmm... But I do feel kind of bad about Merry and Pippin. After all, they're just dumb little hobbits who don't know any better. So I'll help look for them. Anyway, I can't lose face with Aragorn and Gimli. You shuld have seen the fuss Aragorn made about Boromir... Gotta go. Time to run across the plains of Rohan. All right, all right, but Legolas as a psychopath was just too good to pass up... __________________ All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression.

10-21-2002, 05:07 PM	#12
Elenna A Ghostly Light Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: My private bubble of innocence Posts: 563	Day 11: Well, we've been frolicking across the lovely green plains of Rohan for a day now. My hair looks great, streaming in the cool breeze. I'm even carrying some pink ribbons to augment the beauty. Aragorn keeps looking at me and shaking his head whenever I try to give him some ribbons. Gimli absolutely refused to carry them, but I tied them to the back of his armor. Stupid dwarf. I hope some pretty Rohan boys come out and see us frolicking like this. __________________ If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

10-23-2002, 05:30 PM	#13
VanimaEdhel Etheral Enchantress Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wellesley College! Posts: 1,461	Another invisible ink entry is found... Oooo! Aragorn gave me the eye today! I think he really likes me! What does Arwen have that I do not? Tell me that, please! Day 12 Elbereth Gilthoniel! Does Gimli never use Calvin Klein "Obssession" cologne? He really should start using some. I did not sleep a wink last night, because I kept smelling him! I was awake when the other two went to sleep and I was awake when they woke up. Maybe I will kidnap Gimli in the night and give him a bath... Day 13 Joy of joys, Gimli is a girl! I knew I was drawn to him and this proves all of the others wrong for what they said about my preference! Gimli is really and truly a girl! It is interesting, for all female dwarves look like male dwarves. You could hardly tell the difference. But I found out! And now I have found my true love! We will go off together! I will be in a beautiful (crossed out word, clearly saying "skirt") tunic and she will wear a dress! A, aur meren (Ah, joyous day)! Well, I must be off to (crossed out words, clearly saying "frolic in the grass") search for Merry and Pippin and (crossed out words saying "daydream about my true love") prepare for my future, whatever that may be! __________________ "I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time." - Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes

10-23-2002, 06:21 PM	#14
Diamond18 Eidolon of a Took Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: my own private fantasy world Posts: 3,460	I love invisible ink. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I can't think of anything else for our dangerously unbalanced young frolicking elf (this is too funny). Carry on. __________________ All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression.

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