Beating the non- LotR fans

[Lindril Arvilya]

I think we should reinstate stonings as punishment. However, we can replace the stones with hard-back copies of the Silmarillion and raw potatoes.

No, truly, there are only two types of people in this world: people who are Tolkien fans, and those who aren't Tolkien fans... yet. There's still hope. Have pity on the poor sods. They know not what they do. Or what they are missing.

[Finwe]

I think all LOTR-Haters should be tied down in a shallow pool, whose water goes up to just below their nostrils, and be nibbled by hordes of rabid minnows. That way, when they're laughing (the minnows will only tickle them) they'll get water up their nose, and half drown. I'm sure that they'll die of trying to restrain their laughter and keep water from going up their nose.
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

I'm so eeevil!!! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

[elfearz1]

on halloween no one knew what my costume was. I was an elf and I got asked if I was a character from Harry Potter or if I was Robin Hood. [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] what are people thinking?

I think people who don't know/understand LOTR should be tied up in a sack, or thrown into the river Isen, or maybe just given to me i would lecture them untill they knew most of it....

:: hehehe ::

[GreatWarg]

Perhaps the entire Downs community should try converting movie fangirls/boys into true Tolkien purists. Perhaps we can ask Sir Barrow-Wight to create armbands and headbands we can purchase? It would be a wonderful revenue for the Downs, and help us all spread the word!

I, for one, am just sick and tired of seeing uncanonically correct, horribly-written, and absolutely rotten fanfiction and posts clogging up the good ones. And some of them, when you write to them telling of some mistakes they may want to change, yell at you for 'sticking yourself in a cupboard with a flaming torch and books.' Yes, someone actually said that to me. It appears many of them THINK they know enough to write a good fanfiction (and maybe they do) but they certainly aren't putting it to good use!

[Everdawn]

Now im being hipocritical...

You couls always have them drawn and quartered, but id think you would have a hard itme finding a country which allows that...
..I just wont have any part in it. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I dunno...they just kinda...dissapeared.
*licks chops and howls*

Oooh...lucky you...

Maybe all us Aphadrim ought to wear badges, as a kind of united front all around the world...

...then we'll launch terrorist attacks, like burn an HP warehouse, write "Frodo lives" and "Wave kings at Boromir the Disco Squid" on every wall, lamp post, and window, and...I can't think of more.

I've been reading "The Cardinal of the Kremlin" by Tom Clancy...there's this part about breaking someone's mind...then I got this extremely evil idea: Read Silm, The Hobbit, LotR, and all HoME books to them...in Entish!

Later days! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
->Elenrod

[Rindoien, elf of Lothlorien]

Lock them in an empty room with loads of copies of Silm, The Hobbit and LOTR. They will be so bored that they will have to read them. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *coughs*

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Flash report: SPCHF(EFLF) {Society of prevention of cruelty to HP Fans(especially from LotR fans)} was demobilised by the terms of the Brest-Litovsk Treaty, signed March 3, 1918. Take that, glassboy!

[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Anywhen, I've discovered a new sensory-deprivation technique: Throw the fools into the Void. There's enough space for them there...

Later days! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
->Elenrod

[Nimrothiel]

Non-LotR fans are not nearly as annoying or stupid as the evil Leggie-boppers. I'm sitting next to two of them right now; they're looking at photos of Legolas feeding a horse. Naturally, they're not even looking at the horse, and I have to hear them gush about how cute Legolas is. [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

[ November 20, 2003: Message edited by: Nimrothiel ]

[Ainaserkewen]

Totally in agreeance with you there. Nazgirls of the world unite! I love cute actors and all but if I ever go completely bonkers over one, you have my permission to hit me.

Speaking of hitting, that's how I deal with the non-believers who are too annoying for words.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Speaking of hitting, that's how I deal with the non-believers who are too annoying for words.

Brute force...tacky but effective...have to try that one out...

Later days! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
->Elenrod

[elfearz1]

oooh in my Brit Lit (British Literature) class we were studying about heros so my teacher played clips from movies with heros in them and we had to write down the characteristics of the heros. She played a clip from TTT. I heard these girls conversations and this is what they said:
"what is this?"
"Lotr! ugh, I hate that movie!"
errrrrr I was so mad!

[Pyroclastic]

Ugg, and you had to sit near them elfearz1, how dreadfull! I knew a guy who lo and behold bothered to read the books, and then he complained about how "The whole return to the Shire bit was just kinda pointless." He waited untill he was across the room to say it though, so he was out of my immediate target range unfourtounately. But that's ok, he inspired a lovely poem about chumps. As long as morons are inspiring us to be better people they're good for something. Also, they make very nice step ladders.

Pyro

[elfearz1]

Originally Posted by Pyroclastic

Ugg, and you had to sit near them elfearz1, how dreadfull!
Pyro

I know. *shakes head in disapointment at them*

so I was standing around at school and I had my binder with me. A girl and a friend comes up to me (they're in another one of my classes so it wasn't random or anything.) and this was our conversation:
her: what does your binder say?
me: "did you squeeze your hobbit today" (ok on a side note does anyone else ever get the urge to squeeze hobbits?)
her: What's a hobbit
me: *stare*
her: ?
me: from....Lord of the rings....
her: I've never seen it.
friend: neither have I
me: gah! you rent it, you go to her house and you must watch it together, tonight!

yeah I think they thought I was crazy.....

[Encaitare]

Have I ever gotten the urge to squeeze hobbits? But of course.

Oddly enough, I have a similar picture on one of my binders with Gandalf and Frodo hugging that says "Have you hugged your Hobbit today?"

[Pyroclastic]

I bet you get a lot of gay jokes regarding that binder, don't you Encaitare? I personally believe that there are not enough hugs given in this world, at least not enough hugs given by people we like!
~Pyro~

[Gothbogg the Ripper]

Make them listen to an hours worth of Gary Barlowes "music", after that Lord of the Rings will seem like a Godsend!

[Elessar Telcontar]

We ought to ring their filthy little necks, preciousss...

[Encaitare]

Originally Posted by Pyroclastic

I bet you get a lot of gay jokes regarding that binder, don't you Encaitare? I personally believe that there are not enough hugs given in this world, at least not enough hugs given by people we like!
~Pyro~

Well, it's not that large so people don't notice it amid all the other pictures unless they're really looking at them all. Not to start another slash/antislash debate, but I've also got another little one of Legolas and Boromir hugging and it says "Canon? What canon?"

And hugs are excellent. They, and Hugo Weaving, make the world go 'round.

[Nimrodel_9]

I say we stone them, then tar and feather them! No, just kidding, I`m not that harsh.

I usually insult them in elvish, and refuse to talk to them for a class period or so. I`m usually pretty good at hiding my books, movies, ect. when they come around. sigh... They just don`t understand me.

[Gothbogg the Ripper]

Tarring and feathering them does sound like a good idea but there's one problem: It's a waste of good feathers.

[Mark]

I hate people who don't like lotR. It's pretty sad they're not enlightened to our world of fantasy. A couple of my friends detest it, unfortunatly... I try to lead them towards the right path... but, they're pretty stubborn.

[Encaitare]

I don't hate them, but rather I pity them.

No, actually just I don't understand why they hate LotR... what's to hate?

[Gothbogg the Ripper]

The fact of the matter is this;There is nothing to hate about Lord of the Rings as it is the single most well written, mythical, harrowing story ever put on paper, it is utterly beyond me how anyone could dislike it and mock those who do.
Some people eh?

[Sapphire_Flame]

ok on a side note does anyone else ever get the urge to squeeze hobbits?

Yes.

I don't understand why they hate LotR... what's to hate?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's an amazing story, with nary a plotting flaw or inconsistancy to be found. The characters are wonderful, and it presents moral lessons without being preachy or allegorical. It is captivating, well-written, and has one of the most involved histories and creations of any fictional location I have ever read.

I think it's a cause of frustration to them; they know that it is a mature, detailed, well-written piece of literature, and they also know that their mini-minds can't handle it. Ergo, they hate it (and us, incidentally) because of their inability to understand it. A rather immature way of dealing with things, actually.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Kransha]

I realize that this forum is entitled 'Mirth' and thus should remain mirthful, but I'd like to drop in a point, and then I'll state something more mirthfully relevant.

I believe that LotR is a wonderful thing. I have spent much time reading Tolkien's works, as many of you well know. But, I still feel that respect and admiration for those who ignore or even dislike it should not be denied. I have many people who have read the trilogy, and sometimes more Tolkien, and can still honestly say they dislike the work. I never reproach them for this, I simply ask them why they did not find Tolkien's beauty and majesty. Why was it lost on them. Some of them came up with rather unintelligent reasons ("It's for geeks," or "It's just fantasy,") but others had very intelligent ones. This is a pro-Tolkien site, obviously, and I am vastly pro-Tolkien, but I argue for these people. They have very valid reasons, relating to the language, style, and craft of the stories, the general genre, and various other matters. Assuming that those who dislike Tolkien are boorish ignoramuses reduces us to the level of said boorish ignoramuses, though not in fact or word. We're here to be open-minded, comrades. The only people who I, as an individual, cannot stand, are those who disavow Tolkien because of it's 'geek' aura...and voracious Legolas fangirls. That is my only pet peeve. Otherwise, I have not witheld anything from the non-LotR fans, except for the painful ones.

On a lighter note, if I were to do some obligatory beating of that latter, disliked lot, I would probably just have them listen to Tom Bombadil's poetry for 3.5 years. It's fine for 3-4 pages, but then it gets a bit monotonous, monogamous, and molassessous. That would at least bore them to extreme pain, possibly to the point of suicide, or otherwise.

[elronds_daughter]

good point, Kransha. I agree with you, mostly. However, I would still like to beat (and would if I knew any) non-LotR fans who say they love LotR but don't and then say something that utterly gives away their hypocricy.
Now, on to beating the hypocrites!
I would assemble all my LotR fanatic friends, and act out the books. Not the movies, the books. Tom Bombadil included. Complete with Nazgul screeches. That should drive them insane rather quickly. *evil grin* (we need a petition to reinstate the evil smiley. we need it!)

[Farmira]

i think we should beat the non-lotr fans with giant inflatable blow-up dolls of the cast... i think the sauron one would be the worst... ouuuch...

[One of the Nine]

Originally Posted by elronds_daughter

good point, Kransha. *evil grin* (we need a petition to reinstate the evil smiley. we need it!)

I agree. It's just not the same without the delightfully devlish evil smile!

Anyway, on to the topic. I agree with Kransha to some degree. I do believe that non-fans have a right to like or not like something, but why do they hate it? That's my only question. And, I definately agree elrond's_daughter about the hypocrites. They should go down in a burning inferno of Lotr knock-offs and the books that make fun of the jovial yet sad book we are here about. Not really, but oh well.

[Morgul Queen]

Ahh, the scream of a Mary Sue is the sweetest scream of all.

Hear, hear!!

Has anyone ever been asked what a silmaril is? I was reading the Silm in class and got asked wht the title meant, I told them and promtly got asked what a Silmaril was.

How on earth do you answer that?!

They ended up getting a crash-course in M-e history, poor people.

I, for one, am just sick and tired of seeing uncanonically correct, horribly-written, and absolutely rotten fanfiction and posts clogging up the good ones. And some of them, when you write to them telling of some mistakes they may want to change, yell at you for 'sticking yourself in a cupboard with a flaming torch and books.' Yes, someone actually said that to me. It appears many of them THINK they know enough to write a good fanfiction (and maybe they do) but they certainly aren't putting it to good use!

Really? You got it so easy. We normally get variations of 'ur sooo mian!!!1!11 i cn do wat i laike!!11! so stp flmn me nd gt lst u mianie!!11!11!!!one!!11!eleventyone!!!'

Or, in the case of LQ "Start using the manors your parents taught you, grow up and start behave like abults!'

Spelling intentional. *sniggers* And, in the latter, quoted exactly. It's such a hoot, she claims to be 20+

[Vanwatholiel]

I would say follow them around the whole day and apply a quote to everything they do. Like when someone you don't like comes to talk to them, say, they have a cave troll!! That would most definetly trip them out. And it would be most fun.


Or just walk around reading the book to them. The vast majority of my friends think that I have a problem, and I need help. They just look at me and shake their head. It amuses me. I know mine was rather lame, but i just wanted to post SOMETHING!!!

[Morgul Queen]

Morgul's take on RE, or, why Morgy and the RE teachers do not get along.

Scene: Religous Education Class

Teacher: Alright girls, get out your bibles and start reading.

Morgy: *pulls out 'Rings*

Everyone else: *pulls out bibles*

Teacher: Now, turn to page 372. Morgul, you start reading...

Morgy: "There were no sign of living moving things, save birds..."

Class: *looks at Morgy strangely*

Friends: *crack up*

[Sapphire_Flame]

Morgy, that is many different kinds of awesome. *must do that in her RE class*

Okay, here's one: find all the fangirls who write LotR fanfics. Ask them, under the pretense that you're actually interested, what site they have their stories posted on. Ask for their screen names. Go find their fics and report them to the PPC. We will take care of the rest. *Saph and Morgy don sunglasses*

Who ya gonna call? The Plot Protectors!

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Morgul Queen]

*rolls eyes* It's www.legolas.com, I've been trolling there for longer than I'd like to admit.

[About three months! ^.^]

Oh, be quiet, Darkling!

[Encaitare]

Morgy -- I checked out Legolas.com, and all I can say is.....

Wow.

And that's not a good wow.

I'm currently deciding if it would be against my moral values to register and join you in your trolling... what's your SN over there?

[Morgul Queen]

Morgul. ^_^

But I went in from GAFF and we also had a communal trolling account. The website's www.godawful.net/forums and the site is listed under 'Godawful Websites' as 'The Site Which Must Not Be Named'.

We tried to start a SIlm thread there and got various replies of 'Huh? Is dat teh new LotR movie?'

[Sapphire_Flame]

Originally Posted by Morgul Queen

We tried to start a SIlm thread there and got various replies of 'Huh? Is dat teh new LotR movie?'

What, are you freakin' kidding me? *headdesk*

Spork 'em for me, eh Morgy?

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Morgul Queen]

What, are you freakin' kidding me?

I'm not, sadly. That place was...bad. Then we had about 15+ GAFFers converge and we livened it up a bit.

But Fangirl trolling's so hard! I can never keep it up for long. I think it's the grammar and spelling that gets me the most, as well as the general "OMG!!!!1! isaw ob n tv 2dae n hes sooooooooooooooooo qt!!!!1!"

[THE Ka]

Heh. Dealing with these people isn't a problem for me. If you can say something nice, i will be the benevolent teacher and retain as much facts as i can for you. Usually these people come stalking me two weeks later with alot of lotr Merch. in hand, saying that "you're my muse!". one word: frighting . but, expectible.

For the others that are not so nice... i try reverse psychology to see actually how much they really know. Usually many of my lotr friends are there, waiting for their response. Most people fluster, then ask why they were wrong. Then i pull the old "read the book before movie" speech. Hopefully, they will. Once someone (who said the Tolkien was a drug-inflenced loser of a writer Ah! I know!) under my ploy finally admitted that they did read at least one of his books, and found it a wonderful read.

I've heard from other lotr fans or their reactions anyway, that liking harry potter or at least enjoying the series is "Baaaad"... i can't really see this, since most of my friends are devote Tolkien fans but, they enjoy J.K. Rowling's work. It's like (in my opinion) as if we have split into three different sub-species: 1. the one and only un-adulturated true fan (the puritans of the group) 2. the fans who also enjoy other works of fantasy (ex. Harry Potter series, Earthsea Series <- this series is pre-tolkien publication next to tolkien, my favortie) 3. the movie-Tolkien-textbook goers... the only conclusion that i have been able to come to why some fans of tolkien dislike HP is that they view it as if the author is trying to steal some of tolkien's "magic". i don't know this for sure though, i wouldn' t call myself one of this sub-species.

hope i haven't bore you all to death.

~Ka~