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05-10-2003, 01:47 PM | #1 |
Haunting Spirit
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I just made up this song...it's not very good but I'd like your opinion :)
The Elves were the immortal,
The graceful, The good. The Elves were the wisest, The fairest, The first. The Dwarves were the miners, The craftsmen, The short. The Dwarves were the delving, The bearded, The rash. The men were the foolish, The Kings, The strong. The men were the swordsmen, The greedy, The rulers. The hobbits were the mischievous, The jolly, The fun. The hobbits were the ale lovers, The friendly, The Halflings.
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"And he sang to them, now in the Elven tongue, now in the speech of the West, until their hearts, wounded with sweet words, overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness." |
05-10-2003, 01:53 PM | #2 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Lothlorien
Posts: 297
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Very nice *CLAP CLAP CLAP* [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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~.:Catherine:.~ "I have never been out of my own land before. And if I had known what the world outside was like. I don't think I should have had the heart to leave it." ~Merry to Haldir in Lothlórien~ |
05-10-2003, 02:08 PM | #3 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: May 2003
Location: on the wings of the morning
Posts: 394
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Sounds good to me. Almost puts me in mind of Treebeard's list. Hurrah for poets and songs! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
Peace
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'Dulaman na Binne Bui, Dulaman Gaelach/ Dulaman na farraige, 's e b'fhearr a bhi in Eirinn!' |
05-10-2003, 02:58 PM | #5 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: A place worse then Mordor........School!
Posts: 1,075
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I like it, but I must say that it makes humans sound like bad people.
"Yes there is fraility, there is weakness:But there good and honor to be found in men." I know that isn't the exact quote but it's true.
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"There's nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... he's gone."-Remus Lupin "The closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm."-Pippin (now how can you argue with that logic?) |
05-10-2003, 03:29 PM | #6 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Thats beautiful! I love it!
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
05-10-2003, 03:30 PM | #7 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Um... is it copyrighted? I'd love to have the verse on the men in my signature...
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
05-10-2003, 07:11 PM | #8 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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That was great. Treebeard does come to mind [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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We pillage and plunder, we rifle and loot, Drink up me hearties, Yo Ho. the looniest site in the world!!! |
05-10-2003, 07:15 PM | #9 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Very good. Since you said it was a song, does it have a tune? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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I am a nineteen-year-old nomad photographer who owns a lemonade stand. You know what? I love Mip. |
05-11-2003, 03:43 PM | #10 |
La Belle Dame sans Merci
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I like it. It does bring Treebeard's lists to mind. Since you did ask for opinions, I'll give a little creative criticism from one writer to another: it's good, it's creative, it's catchy, but the rhythm is a bit shaky in places. Also it seems to me that it's missing something. An ending that ties all the races together perhaps. But it's your work, not mine, and that's simply my opinion, so do what you will. Once again, nice work. I know how much guts it takes to post poetry, lyrics, or even stories for the world to see. Cheers.
Fea
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peace
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05-16-2003, 09:36 AM | #11 | |
Haunting Spirit
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Quote:
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"And he sang to them, now in the Elven tongue, now in the speech of the West, until their hearts, wounded with sweet words, overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness." |
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05-16-2003, 11:20 AM | #12 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Thanks! I'll save it up for my next signature change [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
05-17-2003, 10:14 PM | #13 |
Animated Skeleton
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I like this poem but I am just a tad bit confusend. [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img]
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"The time of the elfs has ended."Elrond "It is also the end of the men..."ME! "It is the time of the... SUPER-ROBOTIC-FLYING-GENETICALLY-MODIFIED-SUPER-DARVES!" |
05-18-2003, 04:28 PM | #14 |
Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,343
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very good, but men arent really that strong, as compared to say, elves. both physically and mentally. and it'd be better if you presented an even view of them
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