Middle-earth Misdemeanors - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Boromir88 · 08-12-2009, 09:07 AM

This thread is meant to be humorous...let's just start trumping up misdemeanor charges and crimes for all the various Middle-earth characters.

The most notorious petty criminal is without a doubt Gandalf. Ever wonder why he has so many names? Gandalf, Mithrandir, Incanus, Tharkun, Olorin, Stormcrow, Greyhame, The White Rider, The Grey Pilgrim. Someone with that many names has to be involved in loads of illegal activities.

I would guess for tax evasion purposes, because he doesn't have a return address, as he claims he doesn't have a home. But also all the other crimes he's involved in.

Bribery: he claims Shadowfax was a "gift." Ha, I doubt you get a flashy ride such as Shadowfax without any strings attached.

He was also a notorious flasher:

"Naked I was sent back" ~The White Rider

"Then you will see Gandalf the Grey uncloaked"~Long-expected Party

So, what other petty criminals do we have in Middle-earth?

Inziladun · 08-12-2009, 09:57 AM

Samwise Gamgee- Attempted Arson in the Old Forest
One Count of Assault on one Bill Ferny via a thrown apple

Adelard Took- Notorious Purloiner of Umbrellas- Petty Theft

Barrow-wight- 4 counts of Unlawful Imprisonment and Theft of Hobbit Clothing

Meriadoc Brandybuck- Theft of 'weed' from one Saruman

mormegil · 08-12-2009, 10:00 AM

Pippin is a known litter bug look at him dropping the elven broach, also Glorfindel for that matter.

Legolas should be ticketed for not wearing a safety restraint in his vehicle, riding saddle less as could Gandalf

Nessa Telrunya · 08-12-2009, 02:54 PM

Thranduil lets his pet spiders run wild. He could be charged with...something...

Nerwen · 08-12-2009, 03:25 PM

No, I don't think the spiders are Thranduil's pets; in fact we're told his people kill them without mercy.

-Which brings me to the real change against the Wood-Elves: wanton slaughter of rare (and probably endangered) species!

mormegil · 08-12-2009, 03:38 PM

Isildur and Deagol with petty-theft

Galadriel55 · 10-24-2010, 07:38 PM

Sauron should be charged for not putting streetlights in Shelobs Lair (after all, it is his property) - look how many unfortunate accidents that caused!

Galadriel55 · 10-24-2010, 07:40 PM

Aragorn was tresspasing private property when he went through the way that's shut.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 11-02-2010, 09:44 AM

Isn't Tom Bombadil still dogged by charges of kidnapping Goldberry?

Smoking in enclosed, public spaces: a whole host of characters.

Glorfindel and Frodo probably broke the Rivendell speed limit.

xMellrynxMaidenx · 11-02-2010, 12:57 PM

The Nazguls for disturbing the peace in Bree and attempted murder (when Frodo was stabbed).

Could also charge them with vehicular homicide (when they ran the poor gate watcher over. Can't remember if this happened in the books or not, I really need to read them again.)

Blind Guardian · 11-02-2010, 02:47 PM

Bilbo-for stealing Golum's precious!
Ungoliant-for attempted murder and theft (think of Manwë's face if this came to court!)

Galadriel55 · 11-02-2010, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

Glorfindel and Frodo probably broke the Rivendell speed limit.

You should say Gandalf for breaking the one in Rohan!
The way this thread goes, Gandalf is the biggest criminal in the history of ME!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 11-03-2010, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

You should say Gandalf for breaking the one in Rohan!
The way this thread goes, Gandalf is the biggest criminal in the history of ME!

It makes Denethor's dislike of the wizard more understandable, to be honest.

08-12-2009, 09:07 AM	#1
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,519	Middle-earth Misdemeanors This thread is meant to be humorous...let's just start trumping up misdemeanor charges and crimes for all the various Middle-earth characters. The most notorious petty criminal is without a doubt Gandalf. Ever wonder why he has so many names? Gandalf, Mithrandir, Incanus, Tharkun, Olorin, Stormcrow, Greyhame, The White Rider, The Grey Pilgrim. Someone with that many names has to be involved in loads of illegal activities. I would guess for tax evasion purposes, because he doesn't have a return address, as he claims he doesn't have a home. But also all the other crimes he's involved in. Bribery: he claims Shadowfax was a "gift." Ha, I doubt you get a flashy ride such as Shadowfax without any strings attached. He was also a notorious flasher: "Naked I was sent back" ~The White Rider "Then you will see Gandalf the Grey uncloaked"~Long-expected Party So, what other petty criminals do we have in Middle-earth? __________________ Fenris Penguin

08-12-2009, 09:57 AM	#2
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,037	Samwise Gamgee- Attempted Arson in the Old Forest One Count of Assault on one Bill Ferny via a thrown apple Adelard Took- Notorious Purloiner of Umbrellas- Petty Theft Barrow-wight- 4 counts of Unlawful Imprisonment and Theft of Hobbit Clothing Meriadoc Brandybuck- Theft of 'weed' from one Saruman __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God. Last edited by Inziladun; 08-12-2009 at 10:00 AM.

08-12-2009, 10:00 AM	#3
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,648	Pippin is a known litter bug look at him dropping the elven broach, also Glorfindel for that matter. Legolas should be ticketed for not wearing a safety restraint in his vehicle, riding saddle less as could Gandalf __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

08-12-2009, 02:54 PM	#4
Nessa Telrunya Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: In a paper bag Posts: 396	Thranduil lets his pet spiders run wild. He could be charged with...something... __________________ Joined together wrote our names upon the page Seven times alliance our loyalties we gave

08-12-2009, 03:25 PM	#5
Nerwen Wisest of the Noldor Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: ˙˙˙ssɐןƃ ƃuıʞooן ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥʇ Posts: 6,694	No, I don't think the spiders are Thranduil's pets; in fact we're told his people kill them without mercy. -Which brings me to the real change against the Wood-Elves: wanton slaughter of rare (and probably endangered) species! __________________ "Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo.

08-12-2009, 03:38 PM	#6
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,648	Isildur and Deagol with petty-theft __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

10-24-2010, 07:38 PM	#7
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,411	Sauron should be charged for not putting streetlights in Shelobs Lair (after all, it is his property) - look how many unfortunate accidents that caused! __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

10-24-2010, 07:40 PM	#8
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,411	Aragorn was tresspasing private property when he went through the way that's shut. __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

11-02-2010, 09:44 AM	#9
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Isn't Tom Bombadil still dogged by charges of kidnapping Goldberry? Smoking in enclosed, public spaces: a whole host of characters. Glorfindel and Frodo probably broke the Rivendell speed limit. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

11-02-2010, 12:57 PM	#10
xMellrynxMaidenx Wight Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Riding with the Grey Company Posts: 120	The Nazguls for disturbing the peace in Bree and attempted murder (when Frodo was stabbed). Could also charge them with vehicular homicide (when they ran the poor gate watcher over. Can't remember if this happened in the books or not, I really need to read them again.) __________________ ~\|And all will turn, to silver glass. A light on the water, Grey ships pass, Into the West. \|~ "Few now remember them...yet still some go wandering, sons of forgotten kings walking in loneliness, guarding from evil things folks that are heedless."