Funny Middle Earth Books - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Tar-Elara · 03-04-2008, 12:25 PM

During yet another stultifying day at work, my friens and I came up with another odd category: Shortest, or least popular, books in the realm of Arda:
For Example:
Denethor's guide to parenting.
Gollum's grammar guide.

Any suggestions?

Rikae · 03-04-2008, 02:31 PM

Decluttering your Hobbit Hole
Family Camping in the Old Forest
Are YOU Entitled to Immortality? A Legal Guide for Half-Elves
Rosie Cotton's Birth Control Encyclopedia
101 Ways to Eat a Silmaril
Melkor's Introduction to Music Theory

Estelyn Telcontar · 03-05-2008, 02:43 PM

Fun thread idea, Tar-Elara!

How about:

Bilbo and Frodo's Marriage Manual
Arwen's Sewing Primer
Ioreth's "Sound of Silence"
Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
Saruman's Construction Manual for Spiky Wheels

narfforc · 03-11-2008, 01:57 AM

The Dwarven Book of Dating.
The Hobbit Book of Dieting.
The Balrog Book of Flight.
Identity Crisis by Gothmog of Minas Morgul.
Die Young Stay Pretty by Queen Arwen.
Memoirs of an Invisible Man by Isildur.
Fly Fishing by Deagol.

narfforc · 03-12-2008, 01:52 AM

Tree Husbandry by The Ent-wives.

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-12-2008, 02:11 AM

- The Big Book of Entish abbreviations

- Dealing with depression by Turin Turambar

- Morgoth's book of Practical Jokes

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-11-2009, 03:20 AM

Fighting the Napoleonic War by Boromir (if you get the reference, you deserve a prize)

Keeping Brightly coloured clothing clean in a hostile, woodland area. by Tom Bombadil

Erendis · 05-11-2009, 04:00 AM

Are you sure it is ''Neopolionic''?

"Aragorn's travel guide-complete series"

Book 1:RIVENDEL AND HOLlIN
>> 2:WOODEN REALM,LAKETOWN,DALE
>> 3:LORIEN
>> 4:RHUN
>> 5:ADUIN
>> 6,7:GONDOR,ROHAN
>> 8:HARAND(INCLUDING BOTH NEAR AND FAR)
>> 9:MORDOR
>>10,11;ERIANDOR
>> 12:UNIVERSE

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 05-11-2009, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Keeping Brightly coloured clothing clean in a hostile, woodland area. by Tom Bombadil

YES!

How about,
How to Get Yourself Out Of The Barrow-Downs Without the Help of Tom Bombadil by Tom Bombadil and Frodo Baggins

narfforc · 05-12-2009, 03:29 AM

Bear With Me, It's a Long Story by Beorn.
Swimming Lessons in Armour by Isildur.

Gordis · 05-12-2009, 06:29 AM

Are Women Human? by the Witch-King of Angmar

Outwitting Fish by Gollum

How Goood is Good Enough by Faramir

How to Stay Fit and Healthy Indefinitely by Gandalf the Gray

How to Make people Like you in 90 Seconds or Less by Saruman the White

How to Steal a Dog by Luthien Tinuviel

(Titles taken directly from Amazon)

Tuor in Gondolin · 05-12-2009, 07:07 AM

Everything I Need To Know About The One
Ring I Learned In Kindergarten , by Denethor

03-04-2008, 12:25 PM	#1
Tar-Elara Newly Deceased Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Barad-Dur, hurling something at those blasted, noisy orcs.... Posts: 5	Funny Middle Earth Books During yet another stultifying day at work, my friens and I came up with another odd category: Shortest, or least popular, books in the realm of Arda: For Example: Denethor's guide to parenting. Gollum's grammar guide. Any suggestions?

03-05-2008, 02:43 PM	#3
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,500	Fun thread idea, Tar-Elara! How about: Bilbo and Frodo's Marriage Manual Arwen's Sewing Primer Ioreth's "Sound of Silence" Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" Saruman's Construction Manual for Spiky Wheels __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

03-11-2008, 01:57 AM	#4
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	The Dwarven Book of Dating. The Hobbit Book of Dieting. The Balrog Book of Flight. Identity Crisis by Gothmog of Minas Morgul. Die Young Stay Pretty by Queen Arwen. Memoirs of an Invisible Man by Isildur. Fly Fishing by Deagol. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

03-12-2008, 01:52 AM	#5
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Tree Husbandry by The Ent-wives. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

03-12-2008, 02:11 AM	#6
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	- The Big Book of Entish abbreviations - Dealing with depression by Turin Turambar - Morgoth's book of Practical Jokes __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

03-04-2008, 02:31 PM	#2
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Decluttering your Hobbit Hole Family Camping in the Old Forest Are YOU Entitled to Immortality? A Legal Guide for Half-Elves Rosie Cotton's Birth Control Encyclopedia 101 Ways to Eat a Silmaril Melkor's Introduction to Music Theory

05-11-2009, 03:20 AM	#7
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Fighting the Napoleonic War by Boromir (if you get the reference, you deserve a prize) Keeping Brightly coloured clothing clean in a hostile, woodland area. by Tom Bombadil __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 05-11-2009 at 04:47 AM.

05-11-2009, 04:00 AM	#8
Erendis Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Imloth Melui,with Yoreth's sister...Just finished the Panadol stock. Posts: 398	Are you sure it is ''Neopolionic''? "Aragorn's travel guide-complete series" Book 1:RIVENDEL AND HOLlIN >> 2:WOODEN REALM,LAKETOWN,DALE >> 3:LORIEN >> 4:RHUN >> 5:ADUIN >> 6,7:GONDOR,ROHAN >> 8:HARAND(INCLUDING BOTH NEAR AND FAR) >> 9:MORDOR >>10,11;ERIANDOR >> 12:UNIVERSE __________________ Ah,it's good to be home again!

05-12-2009, 03:29 AM	#10
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Bear With Me, It's a Long Story by Beorn. Swimming Lessons in Armour by Isildur. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

05-12-2009, 06:29 AM	#11
Gordis Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Minas Morgul Posts: 431	Are Women Human? by the Witch-King of Angmar Outwitting Fish by Gollum How Goood is Good Enough by Faramir How to Stay Fit and Healthy Indefinitely by Gandalf the Gray How to Make people Like you in 90 Seconds or Less by Saruman the White How to Steal a Dog by Luthien Tinuviel (Titles taken directly from Amazon)

05-12-2009, 07:07 AM	#12
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Everything I Need To Know About The One Ring I Learned In Kindergarten , by Denethor __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'