Did elves smoke?

[Letty]

Did elves smoke?

[narfforc]

It is said that Legolas disaproved of the habit. Pipe-weed was brought to Middle-earth from Numenor, how it got there I do not know, but I would'nt like to have been the person responsible for smoking the first pipe, how many other weeds they had to try before they found one they liked is frightening to think of......ha-ha

[Lalwendë]

Elveses only smoke when you set 'em on fire. Mua-ha-ha.

It begs the question of whether Lothlorien was a non-smoking establishment. Would you have fancied being ordered outside for a smoke with all those orcses about?

[davem]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Elveses only smoke when you set 'em on fire. Mua-ha-ha.

In an early draft of LotR Gandalf does threaten to set Legolas on fire on Caradras, suggesting he would burn well (Treason of Isengard p170). This implies that Elves are quite flammable & were useful as a source of tinder in an emergency. Feanor was obviously more flammable than the average Elf, but I think we can assume that all Elves had a tendency to ignite in the right circumstances. Tolkien doesn't mention Spontaneous Elven Combustion as a normal event, but I think their well known love of the Sea may have something to do with their awareness of their innate flammability, & their aversion to smoking.

[narfforc]

I think you two have been partaking of the weed......ha-ha, good to see humour is alive and kicking.

[davem]

Originally Posted by narfforc

I think you two have been partaking of the weed......ha-ha, good to see humour is alive and kicking.

Well, I was being quite serious! I think clues to Elven flammability may be found in the text if one searches closely. It seems to be a result of over-excitement or a reaction to extreme danger. For example, in Appendix B we find the following interesting incident:

In the North also there had been war and evil. The realm of Thranduil was invaded, and there was long battle under the trees and great ruin of fire; but in the end Thranduil had the victory.

Clearly the Mirkwood Elves in the heat of battle had spontaneously combusted, igniting the surrounding trees. Of course, its possible that this was a deliberate strategy on the part of a highly trained squad of Suicide Elves (the 'Forlorn Hope'), who sacrificed themselves in an assault on the attacking Orcs.

EDIT

It occurs to me now that the 'Blasting fire' used by Saruman at Helm's Deep may provide evidence that Orcs were descended from Elves. If the Orcs had retained their Elven trait of combustibility he may have used shredded Orc.

This begs the question of what Gandalf used in his fireworks, too. One hopes they were Orc based.....

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Elveses only smoke when you set 'em on fire. Mua-ha-ha.

It begs the question of whether Lothlorien was a non-smoking establishment. Would you have fancied being ordered outside for a smoke with all those orcses about?

Right. Smoking is best done by hobbits:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

What did I tell you? Here we are in mirth!

I've just had a thought on the subject of burning Elves. In The Two Towers, the weapon that the uruks have brought from Saruman is described as being "A blasting Fire", could this be further Elf powered weaponry?

How do you think Gandalf made his staff light up? Elf dandruff!

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

According to the Leggy-Bopper Olie-girls there's at least one Elf that, like, is so totally hot that he is, as one from an older generation may say, smokin'.