45 Things Orcs never say - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

suncrafter · 01-22-2006, 03:44 AM

45 Things Orcs never say:

The edge on this blade is too sharp!
Red wine with fried swamp rat!?! Are you mad!?!
Where is my hand lotion?
That's swell!
Too many animal skins detract from the decor.
I feel giggly.
I don't keep sharp objects in my house.
I've started a retirement fund.
Please explain the nuances between 'partly cloudy' and 'partly sunny'.
I already have enough swords at home.
Scotch tastes better with a twist of lemon.
He is wearing the same outfit as me... that bitch!
No meat thank you, I'm a vegetarian.
Darn it!
Earl Grey tastes better unsweetened.
I feel bright and chipper this morning!
I need someone to open this jar of pickles for me.
I can't decide if I want my Giant Bark-Slug poached or broiled?
I'm on a low sodium diet.
Please don't make me use obscenities.
Hold me!
This axe is too big!
My fiancé is registered at Tiffany's.
Too many mounted animal heads detract from the decor.
Not all problems can be solved with violence.
I started a diary last night.
Be honest with me guys... does this chest-plate make my butt look big?
Checkmate.
Please trim the fat off my steak.
Where the hell did this pimple come from?
This part always makes me cry.
Shucks!
Where is the rendezvous point?
That's very unsanitary!
Do you have any Sweet and Lo?
And what can I do for you this fine day?
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
Stop waving those weapons in da air!... It just ain't safe.
I'll have the salad.
I'm over 30 years old.
My socks are very clean.
I can't eat that - too high in fat!
Guys, let's draw upon our feminine sides for a more intuitive solution to our differences.
I think we've killed enough things today.
Where is my teddy bear?

WaynetheGoblin · 01-25-2006, 06:24 AM

That is great love it love it. I hope yuo get rep for this.

Beanamir of Gondor · 01-25-2006, 08:37 AM

I can't be instantly killed by a Gondorian/Rohirrim sword.
I can't be instantly killed by an Elf-arrow.
I'm good at fighting and surviving major battles.
I work for the good guys!
You know, Faramir, why can't we just be friends? Haven't we fought enough?
*same above for Boromir*
I can't be killed by small rocks thrown by Halflings.
Oh, I really need a Tic-Tac.

Valesse · 01-25-2006, 09:08 AM

1) What we really need is a dance team.
2) Have you ever considered how your life might be different if you were... well.. a classical musician?
3) Do you have any Grey Poupon?
4) My favorite color is the -rainbow-

5) Watch where you walk everyone! This grass has been freashly trimmed!
6) I keep getting this nagging feeling as if I'm forgetting to go out and enjoy life.
7) Did you catch <insert popular TV show title here> last night?
8) I'm thinking about taking up the violin.
9) Maybe I should get my palm read... what do you think?
10) B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! And Bingo was his name-o!

suncrafter · 01-26-2006, 12:17 AM

Those are great... Thank you... I'll add them to my Orc website the next time update it.

Thinlómien · 01-27-2006, 11:53 AM

The orcs don't say either:
1. Aww! How cute!
2. I cut my finger and it's bleeding... I'm gonna die!
3. Could I have some more tea, please?
4. I'm sorry./ I apologise.
5. Sorry, I can't come - I have to go to manicurist, you know.
6. Send my kind regards to your family.
7. I love you.
8. Be careful! You might break my porcelain cats!
9. Don't take it, my dear - it's her doll, not yours.
10. Count to ten before you do anything rash... One... Two... Three...

01-22-2006, 03:44 AM	#1
suncrafter Pile O'Bones Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 20	45 Things Orcs never say 45 Things Orcs never say: The edge on this blade is too sharp! Red wine with fried swamp rat!?! Are you mad!?! Where is my hand lotion? That's swell! Too many animal skins detract from the decor. I feel giggly. I don't keep sharp objects in my house. I've started a retirement fund. Please explain the nuances between 'partly cloudy' and 'partly sunny'. I already have enough swords at home. Scotch tastes better with a twist of lemon. He is wearing the same outfit as me... that bitch! No meat thank you, I'm a vegetarian. Darn it! Earl Grey tastes better unsweetened. I feel bright and chipper this morning! I need someone to open this jar of pickles for me. I can't decide if I want my Giant Bark-Slug poached or broiled? I'm on a low sodium diet. Please don't make me use obscenities. Hold me! This axe is too big! My fiancé is registered at Tiffany's. Too many mounted animal heads detract from the decor. Not all problems can be solved with violence. I started a diary last night. Be honest with me guys... does this chest-plate make my butt look big? Checkmate. Please trim the fat off my steak. Where the hell did this pimple come from? This part always makes me cry. Shucks! Where is the rendezvous point? That's very unsanitary! Do you have any Sweet and Lo? And what can I do for you this fine day? Spitting is such a nasty habit. Stop waving those weapons in da air!... It just ain't safe. I'll have the salad. I'm over 30 years old. My socks are very clean. I can't eat that - too high in fat! Guys, let's draw upon our feminine sides for a more intuitive solution to our differences. I think we've killed enough things today. Where is my teddy bear? __________________ My cartoon website with ORCS!!!: http://www.normandcompany.com Stop in when you get the chance. Last edited by suncrafter; 05-01-2006 at 10:42 PM. Reason: spelling error

01-25-2006, 06:24 AM	#2
WaynetheGoblin Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: far far away Posts: 275	That is great love it love it. I hope yuo get rep for this. __________________ if your happy im happy if your sad im sad if you jump of a cliff i watch

01-25-2006, 08:37 AM	#3
Beanamir of Gondor Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: the Shadow Gallery Posts: 276	Things orcs will never say I can't be instantly killed by a Gondorian/Rohirrim sword. I can't be instantly killed by an Elf-arrow. I'm good at fighting and surviving major battles. I work for the good guys! You know, Faramir, why can't we just be friends? Haven't we fought enough? same above for Boromir I can't be killed by small rocks thrown by Halflings. Oh, I really need a Tic-Tac. __________________ The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream."

01-25-2006, 09:08 AM	#4
Valesse Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: \|Away Posts: 614	1) What we really need is a dance team. 2) Have you ever considered how your life might be different if you were... well.. a classical musician? 3) Do you have any Grey Poupon? 4) My favorite color is the -rainbow- 5) Watch where you walk everyone! This grass has been freashly trimmed! 6) I keep getting this nagging feeling as if I'm forgetting to go out and enjoy life. 7) Did you catch <insert popular TV show title here> last night? 8) I'm thinking about taking up the violin. 9) Maybe I should get my palm read... what do you think? 10) B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! And Bingo was his name-o! __________________ "Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos

01-27-2006, 11:53 AM	#6
Thinlómien Shady She-Penguin Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a far land beyond the Sea Posts: 8,093	The orcs don't say either: 1. Aww! How cute! 2. I cut my finger and it's bleeding... I'm gonna die! 3. Could I have some more tea, please? 4. I'm sorry./ I apologise. 5. Sorry, I can't come - I have to go to manicurist, you know. 6. Send my kind regards to your family. 7. I love you. 8. Be careful! You might break my porcelain cats! 9. Don't take it, my dear - it's her doll, not yours. 10. Count to ten before you do anything rash... One... Two... Three... __________________ Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris

01-26-2006, 12:17 AM	#5
suncrafter Pile O'Bones Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 20	Those are great... Thank you... I'll add them to my Orc website the next time update it.