Be careful what you wish for...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Okay, this is a game my older brother came up with, and I thought it would be good for the Downs...

Make a wish. A Tolkien related wish, preferably.

Someone else can grant it, but there must be an ironic, or comical consequence to the wish. They can be serious (if you want) but more likely just plain silly.
Like so.

Someone posts:
I wish I could go to Middle Earth

Someone else posts:

I wish I could go to Middle Earth

Your wish is granted. But you are murdered by Orcs and Saruman takes all your gold.

I wish I had a Silmarill


****

And so on. I hope you get the idea.
Please put your wish in bold letters so everyone can see it.
Here is my wish...

I wish there were more sheriffs in the Shire.

[Edit: Make sure to quote the wish you are granting.]

[Sleepy Ranger]

I wish there were more sheriffs in the Shire.

Your wish is granted. There are more Sherrifs in the Shire, they catch you stealing an apple and beat you with a sparrow. They then throw you into the Old Forest where you are eaten alive by Old Man Willow.

I wish Sauron was a pink fluffy bunny

[Anguirel]

Your wish is granted. Michel Delving becomes Nottingham, all proceeds go to the corrupt Prince Faramir, and the hobbitry stand in need of a benevolent hero in green tights.

I wish I could bear one of the Elven rings.

Argh. Cross-post. Well I like this answer, so I'm leaving it...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Anguirel

I wish I could bear one of the Elven rings.

Your wish is granted. But you find to your horror that they are onion rings and you are allergic to them and your hand swells to the size of a city.

I wish the Barrow Wight and Tom Bombadill could get along.

[malkatoj]

I wish Sauron was a pink fluffy bunny

Your wish is granted. But when Frodo goes to destroy the Ring, he sees Sauron and thinks he's too cute. Frodo gives Sauron the ring and everyone DIES.

My wish:

I wish Shadowfax were a Llama instead of a horse.

[The Perky Ent]

I wish Shadowfax were a Llama instead of a horse.

Your wish is granted. Unfortunatly, without a successor, the horses had no leader, and sailed away into the west. Later, at the battle of pelenor fields, the Rohirrim all died.


I wish ents were fireproof

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish ents were fireproof

Your wish is granted. But they decide to play water polo in mount Doom and end up filling it up with empty cans and so Frodo cant' destroy the Ring.

I wish Gandalf was around today.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Merry and Pippin had created the rings.

Your wish is granted. Pippin and Merry create the rings, but they fight over who gives them out, and before they do, they kill each other in an amusing manner involving amoebas.

I wish there were Daleks in Middle Earth.

[Alcarillo]

I wish there were Daleks in Middle Earth.

Your wish is granted. Mogul Bildur uses them to attack the Swinging City of Gondola. Dok-Dorhu fails to defeat the Dar-lêks, and Gondola falls to its doom.

I wish I was an elf.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish I was an elf.

Your wish is granted. But you live in a dwarf colony where you are the designated elf to be slapped everyday.

I wish everyone had a beard like Gandalf.

[Sleepy Ranger]

I wish everyone had a beard like Gandalf.

Your wish is granted. You trip over your beard and fall into Mt. Doom. Everybody else bends down to see you and trip over each others beards and they all fall in as well.

I wish the members of The Barrow-Downs (The Site) took part in the Battle of Pellenor Fields.

[Glirdan]

I wish the members of The Barrow-Downs (The Site) took part in the Battle of Pellenor Fields.

Your wish is granted. But since we have no fighting experience, we are all slain in the process.

I wish Galadriel didn't decide to traverse into Middle-Earth and have the Doom of Mandos on her.

[Sleepy Ranger]

I wish Galadriel didn't decide to traverse into Middle-Earth and have the Doom of Mandos on her.

Your wish is granted. There is no Lothlorien for the fellowship to stop at and they all get killed by orcs.

I wish Sauron and Frodo had their roles reversed.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Sauron didn't ruin whatever image he had whenever he lost a fight.

Poof and woof! Sauron no longer loses his image when he loses a fight. He now loses it whenever he says the word 'kill'. So now his Orcs don't know what to do, as Sauron keeps changing shape and cannot finish a sentence. So they just go on a mad rampage through The Shire for no reason.

I wish that Minas Morgul was not made into an evil place.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Granted. It is so goody-two shoes that no one can stand the place.(When I meant Sauron losing his image, I meant his reputation. You can't really think highly of a warlord when he loses to a dog and surrenders to an unarmed women.)

I wish Gandalf would have told everyone at the Council of Elrond that the Eagles wouldn't fly Frodo to Mount Doom.

[The Perky Ent]

I wish Gandalf would have told everyone at the Council of Elrond that the Eagles wouldn't fly Frodo to Mount Doom.

Your wish is granted. Nothing changes in the story, and when Frodo is saved from Mordor by Eagles, the people don't mind, because Gandalf say "to" Mordor, and not "from"!

I wish the Anduin was made of Chocolate!

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by The Perky Ent

I wish the Anduin was made of Chocolate!

Your wish is granted. The Anduin is a river of thick melted hot fudge sauce. The Fellowship's boats become trapped in the chocolate when they leave Lorien. They then try to eat the river only to fall in and drown, thus meeting a death by Chocolate. The Quest fails and Sauron wins.

I wish Barad-dur was a fuzzy pink skwerl.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Granted. It kills everyone and destroys Middle-Earth.

I wish we knew more about Rhovanion.

[AbercrombieOfRohan]

I wish we knew more about Rhovanion.

Your wish is granted, we now know so much about Rhovanion that we can't escape it and it's history. Eventually the entire population of the world goes mad and drowns themselves in the ocean.

I wish gollum was a pirate-platypus.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Faramir were only half-brother with Boromir, so that he could feel to scruple in killing him and taking over the throne instead of Aragorn.

Ah! Gandalf sees that this may be good, and so grants the wish. But however much Faramir wishes to kill Boromir, when it comes to it, Boromir kills him. Boromir then tries to kill Aragorn, but he kills Boromir. Aragorn then tries to kill Gandalf, but Gandalf kills him. Gandalf then decided to kill Manwe, but he kills Gandalf. Manwe decided to kill Eru, but he kills Manwe and Eru feels sad that he can't think of anyone to kill.

I wish Wromtong had a literal tong made from a worm!

[Gothmog]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Wromtong had a literal tong made from a worm!

And now he does! Problem is, its wriggling and twisting (not at all satisfied with its present location) so much that he can't produce one single line of understandeble speak. This makes him a very poor advisor, so Theoden decides to fire him. Actually literally firing him: he ties the poor man to one of Gandalfs rockets and sends him flying to the moon. There he met Tilion, whom he became a very goo friend with (both of them lacked of other friends) and all ended happily!

See, not every wish has to end bad!

I wish Sauron had a small, cute pet-puppy

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Gothmog

I wish Sauron had a small, cute pet-puppy

Granted! Sauron is now the owner of Mitzy, an adorable little Yorkie. Or is it Mitzy who owns Sauron? The dog is so spoiled Sauron gives it Orthanc as a dog house and the White Tree of Gondor as a chew toy. Then one day Mitzy runs away and Sauron is so filled with grief he launches his assault on Minas Tirith.

I wish there was a course at my college that only taught stuff about Tolkien and his works.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish there was a course at my college that only taught stuff about Tolkien and his works.

Woooooooooooosssssssssshhhhhhhhhhm! The college now teaches Tolkienology. However, they teach it with such little enthusiasm that the lessons drag on for hours and hours until you go mad and turn into Gollum.

I wish Smaug had decided to be good.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Smaug had decided to be good.

Your wish is granted. But he decided to be good to Sauron and turned Rivendell into charred ruins. He was only killed when he called Sauron a Communist as a compliment. Sauron took offence with that because he was a Nazi.

I wish that Feanor hadn't listened to Morgoth's lies.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish that Gandalf had turned Grima into a worm.

Granted. But no one seems to notice the difference.

I wish the Witch King's crown was shaped like a hot hat.

[Bergil]

excuse me, I meant zzzap. your wish is granted. the witch-king's crown is now a hot hat. unfortunately, the hat is so hot that whenever he tries to put it on, he drops it on his toes.

I wish that the barrow-downs in the book were replaced by our barrow-downs

[Glirdan]

I wish that the barrow-downs in the book were replaced by our barrow-downs

Your wish is granted. The Barrow-Downs from the book with all the dead green guys gets replaced by our Barrow-Downs that contain more green guys and girls. But they're more chatty than the old Wights and they drove Frodo into insanity and was never rescued by Tom and the Ring was eventually found by the Ring-Wraiths.

I wish that the Ring-Wraiths worked for the good guys.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish that the Ring-Wraiths worked for the good guys.

Granted. But they use the language of Orthank. And help means hinder and saving means slaying. So things go a little wrong.

I wish Gandalf was not so hated by Denethor.

[Boromir88]

I wish Gandalf was not so hated by Denethor.

I grant you wish, Gandalf and Denethor are best friends, Gandalf now assists Denethor in killing Faramir.

I wish Jackson would have kept Arwen at Helm's Deep