This Barrow-Downer's real name is... - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Estelyn Telcontar · 07-09-2005, 06:17 AM

Haven’t you caught yourself wondering if someone from the LotR movies, a known Tolkien scholar, or some other VIP comes to the Downs, unbeknownst to the rest of us? I have uncovered evidence of some who are masquerading behind their screen names to hide their true identity! Careful observation has led me to following conclusions:

The Saucepan Man's real name is… Peter Jackson! Why else would he so staunchly defend the movies in the face of all the opposition he gets? His lawyer mask is so convincing because he has had plenty of experience with law suits in securing the movie rights.

Bêthberry’s real name is… Madonna! She comes to the Downs when she wearies of the glamorous life of a star, admired only for her looks, in hopes of finding friends online who will like her for her personality. Her choice of nickname brought me to this conclusion – a singer who has changed identities so often would naturally choose to be a member of an enigmatic family specialized in song! And doesn’t it strike you as more than a coincidence that she began writing children’s books in real life after having gained RPG experience here?!

Mister Underhill’s real name is… Orlando Bloom! You didn’t think Orly could be so erudite, intelligent, and knowledgeable about the books? Well, his agent had to dumb him down; in order to get the role in LotR, he had to promise not to spoil his swoon image by scaring away the teenyboppers with utterances they don’t understand. Interestingly, his wonderful posts are now few and far between, alas! What gave this away to me? In his early, pre-movie days here on the Downs, he rashly admitted to “doing some occasional acting”.

the phantom’s real name is… Michael Martinez! He comes here secretly when he’s tired of his own learned treatises and wants to have fun on the Mirth forum. Transforming between these two guises has given him the knack for playing on the Werewolf games. What clued me in on this one? Well, MM just can’t completely shake off that ‘light’ touch of arrogance…

I shall continue my search for mystery identities and invite those who are interested to join in. Remember though, this is not the place for mere speculation! You must present conclusive evidence!!

Lalaith · 07-09-2005, 08:10 AM

You know, I was wondering if this gentleman could a barrowdowner. If so, which one?

Morsul the Dark · 08-02-2005, 03:19 PM

well, actually my real name iss (ahem clears throat) Orlando Bloom (girls swoon)

Actually yes I have thought about this many-a-time in fact I am convinced J.R.R.Tolkien's spirit haunts the downs as a green casper like ghosts(pretends to yawn and points at BarrowWight)

Feanor of the Peredhil · 08-02-2005, 07:14 PM

Sharku, though many times goes by stage names, was born as one "Christopher Lee". It is evident by his sparse and eloquent posts. To new members, he may seem cold and aloof, but to those of the old guard, they remember "the days", and the middle guard think of him as an interestingly brilliant old man who is great at playing creepy roles (Saruman, Scaramanga... chat room Op).

Also, who but Mr. Lee himself would choose the name of "Sharku"? An "affectionate" nickname for one of his favorite characters. And we all know that if Sharku was involved in filming, Arwen would not have made it to Helm's Deep. Coincidence that she did not? I doubt it.

Bêthberry · 08-04-2005, 08:51 PM

Having reread the Holmes mysteries for clues as to successful detectioning, having watched seasons of CSI in video within the space of one month to ascertain personality quirks, having imitated Lt. Columbo in all features save the smelly cigar and single eye (yes, the raincoat is a handsome disguise), I now offer these pieces of detective skull-duggery worthy of the deepest, darkest barrow.

The secret real name of Feanor of thePeredhil is Anke Katrin Eismann, the delightful and wonderfully talented young artist who is setting a new standard for Tolkien artwork. This was obvious, as our young Fea is full of the same spirited high imagination and creative energy as Eismann and fully capable of original interpretations in her own RPGs as Eismann presents us with. You don't believe me? Check out Anke-Katrin Eismann's galleries .

The secret, real name of mark12_30 is none other than that of the generous, intelligent, and all-round spiffy daughter of JRR Tolkien, Priscilla Tolkien herself. With modesty, wit, and constant humility, she perseveres in holding out the hope that we all will understand her father as Our Father of great fantasy. And without farther ado I move on to the next suspect..., er, candidate.

On the other hand, narffoc is none other than the person who runs the Dominic Monaghan fansite called domgasm. Only, I say, only someone with the linguistic taste to create that site name could also come up with the Downs nick to represent an half orc. 'Twas under the influence of that orcish brew I'm sure. Both times.

The Squatter of Amon Rudh just has to be John Garth, author of the latest Tolkien biography, Tolkien and the Great War. Who else has the detailed knowledge of World War I social and military history and love both of Tolkien and of created languages? He told me himself, he did, at Gordon's, while looking upon a model WWII airplane, that he misspent his youth satisfying his enthusiasm for military things. I hope this is not perceived as betraying a personal confession, for it was made in full view of the bartender and under the loving touch of a glass of ruby port. I hasten to add this was not the name we met under, but I should add that Squatter has given me an academic email addy.

One of our recent recruits to the Canonicity thread, Formendacil, bears all the likely traits of being none other than Dominic Monaghan himself! His posts persuade me that he is obviously capable of writing a comedy screenplay such as that Monaghan has written with Billy Boyd. I'm sure he comes here to Barrow Downs to practice his hand at simile and metaphor and learn how to handle the outrageous scorn of Barrow Downers who insist upon the most literal interpretations of his posts.

Now this one is particularly secret. No doubt Tolkien fans know of the legendary love and enthusiasm for Tolkien which the scriptwriter Philippa Boyens has. She can even answer journalists' questions in elvish! Yet few know that her passion for writing Tolkien fanfiction extends beyond the films. Yes, she loves to guide gently younger writers into the respectful waters of Tolkien-consistent RPGs. She is none other than our illustrious RPG Moderator--drum roll here please-- piosenniel. When I heard of the story of how Boyens invited both Sean Bean and Viggo Mortgensen to her hotel room on the same night to go over script changes, why, I knew at once our no-nonsense piosenniel would appreciate the irony of that situation.

Last but most assuredly not least I submit my final gumshoe report. I have no compromising photographs to prove this, but without a doubt we must all acknowledge the profound similarity between the great love and respect for Tolkien and the profound depth of scholarly work of our own Estelyn Telcontar and that of the great Tolkien scholar, Verlyn Fleiger. Only a scholar of such magnitude could lovingly produce the Entish Bow parodies. And only a scholar of language would be unable to resist the wordplay between the names Estelyn and Verlyn.

*picks up violin with a flourish and plays a mad piece*

Folwren · 08-04-2005, 09:07 PM

Are you people serious?

*waits with rather quickly beating heart*

piosenniel · 08-05-2005, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

When I heard of the story of how Boyens invited both Sean Bean and Viggo Mortgensen to her hotel room on the same night to go over script changes, why, I knew at once our no-nonsense piosenniel would appreciate the irony of that situation.

* cough . . . splutter . . .

Yes, well, that is, of course utter nonsense . . .

The real irony being that jarring juxtaposition of Sean and Viggo with 'no-nonsense' . . .

Jack! Jack! Now where did I put that Kong script? And who's gone off with my red edit pencil?

~*~ Pio

07-09-2005, 06:17 AM	#1
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,500	This Barrow-Downer's real name is... Haven’t you caught yourself wondering if someone from the LotR movies, a known Tolkien scholar, or some other VIP comes to the Downs, unbeknownst to the rest of us? I have uncovered evidence of some who are masquerading behind their screen names to hide their true identity! Careful observation has led me to following conclusions: The Saucepan Man's real name is… Peter Jackson! Why else would he so staunchly defend the movies in the face of all the opposition he gets? His lawyer mask is so convincing because he has had plenty of experience with law suits in securing the movie rights. Bêthberry’s real name is… Madonna! She comes to the Downs when she wearies of the glamorous life of a star, admired only for her looks, in hopes of finding friends online who will like her for her personality. Her choice of nickname brought me to this conclusion – a singer who has changed identities so often would naturally choose to be a member of an enigmatic family specialized in song! And doesn’t it strike you as more than a coincidence that she began writing children’s books in real life after having gained RPG experience here?! Mister Underhill’s real name is… Orlando Bloom! You didn’t think Orly could be so erudite, intelligent, and knowledgeable about the books? Well, his agent had to dumb him down; in order to get the role in LotR, he had to promise not to spoil his swoon image by scaring away the teenyboppers with utterances they don’t understand. Interestingly, his wonderful posts are now few and far between, alas! What gave this away to me? In his early, pre-movie days here on the Downs, he rashly admitted to “doing some occasional acting”. the phantom’s real name is… Michael Martinez! He comes here secretly when he’s tired of his own learned treatises and wants to have fun on the Mirth forum. Transforming between these two guises has given him the knack for playing on the Werewolf games. What clued me in on this one? Well, MM just can’t completely shake off that ‘light’ touch of arrogance… I shall continue my search for mystery identities and invite those who are interested to join in. Remember though, this is not the place for mere speculation! You must present conclusive evidence!! __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

07-09-2005, 08:10 AM	#2
Lalaith Blithe Spirit Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,779	You know, I was wondering if this gentleman could a barrowdowner. If so, which one? __________________ Out went the candle, and we were left darkling

08-02-2005, 03:19 PM	#3
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,448	well, actually my real name iss (ahem clears throat) Orlando Bloom (girls swoon) Actually yes I have thought about this many-a-time in fact I am convinced J.R.R.Tolkien's spirit haunts the downs as a green casper like ghosts(pretends to yawn and points at BarrowWight) __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

08-02-2005, 07:14 PM	#4
Feanor of the Peredhil La Belle Dame sans Merci Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: perpetual uncertainty Posts: 5,517	Sharku, though many times goes by stage names, was born as one "Christopher Lee". It is evident by his sparse and eloquent posts. To new members, he may seem cold and aloof, but to those of the old guard, they remember "the days", and the middle guard think of him as an interestingly brilliant old man who is great at playing creepy roles (Saruman, Scaramanga... chat room Op). Also, who but Mr. Lee himself would choose the name of "Sharku"? An "affectionate" nickname for one of his favorite characters. And we all know that if Sharku was involved in filming, Arwen would not have made it to Helm's Deep. Coincidence that she did not? I doubt it. __________________ peace

08-04-2005, 08:51 PM	#5
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,997	A token Falcon, teasingly Having reread the Holmes mysteries for clues as to successful detectioning, having watched seasons of CSI in video within the space of one month to ascertain personality quirks, having imitated Lt. Columbo in all features save the smelly cigar and single eye (yes, the raincoat is a handsome disguise), I now offer these pieces of detective skull-duggery worthy of the deepest, darkest barrow. The secret real name of Feanor of thePeredhil is Anke Katrin Eismann, the delightful and wonderfully talented young artist who is setting a new standard for Tolkien artwork. This was obvious, as our young Fea is full of the same spirited high imagination and creative energy as Eismann and fully capable of original interpretations in her own RPGs as Eismann presents us with. You don't believe me? Check out Anke-Katrin Eismann's galleries . The secret, real name of mark12_30 is none other than that of the generous, intelligent, and all-round spiffy daughter of JRR Tolkien, Priscilla Tolkien herself. With modesty, wit, and constant humility, she perseveres in holding out the hope that we all will understand her father as Our Father of great fantasy. And without farther ado I move on to the next suspect..., er, candidate. On the other hand, narffoc is none other than the person who runs the Dominic Monaghan fansite called domgasm. Only, I say, only someone with the linguistic taste to create that site name could also come up with the Downs nick to represent an half orc. 'Twas under the influence of that orcish brew I'm sure. Both times. The Squatter of Amon Rudh just has to be John Garth, author of the latest Tolkien biography, Tolkien and the Great War. Who else has the detailed knowledge of World War I social and military history and love both of Tolkien and of created languages? He told me himself, he did, at Gordon's, while looking upon a model WWII airplane, that he misspent his youth satisfying his enthusiasm for military things. I hope this is not perceived as betraying a personal confession, for it was made in full view of the bartender and under the loving touch of a glass of ruby port. I hasten to add this was not the name we met under, but I should add that Squatter has given me an academic email addy. One of our recent recruits to the Canonicity thread, Formendacil, bears all the likely traits of being none other than Dominic Monaghan himself! His posts persuade me that he is obviously capable of writing a comedy screenplay such as that Monaghan has written with Billy Boyd. I'm sure he comes here to Barrow Downs to practice his hand at simile and metaphor and learn how to handle the outrageous scorn of Barrow Downers who insist upon the most literal interpretations of his posts. Now this one is particularly secret. No doubt Tolkien fans know of the legendary love and enthusiasm for Tolkien which the scriptwriter Philippa Boyens has. She can even answer journalists' questions in elvish! Yet few know that her passion for writing Tolkien fanfiction extends beyond the films. Yes, she loves to guide gently younger writers into the respectful waters of Tolkien-consistent RPGs. She is none other than our illustrious RPG Moderator--drum roll here please-- piosenniel. When I heard of the story of how Boyens invited both Sean Bean and Viggo Mortgensen to her hotel room on the same night to go over script changes, why, I knew at once our no-nonsense piosenniel would appreciate the irony of that situation. Last but most assuredly not least I submit my final gumshoe report. I have no compromising photographs to prove this, but without a doubt we must all acknowledge the profound similarity between the great love and respect for Tolkien and the profound depth of scholarly work of our own Estelyn Telcontar and that of the great Tolkien scholar, Verlyn Fleiger. Only a scholar of such magnitude could lovingly produce the Entish Bow parodies. And only a scholar of language would be unable to resist the wordplay between the names Estelyn and Verlyn. picks up violin with a flourish and plays a mad piece __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. Last edited by Bêthberry; 08-04-2005 at 09:34 PM.

08-04-2005, 09:07 PM	#6
Folwren Messenger of Hope Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a tiny, insignificant little town in one of the many States. Posts: 5,076	Are you people serious? waits with rather quickly beating heart __________________ A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading. - C.S. Lewis