The Future of the Downs

[the phantom]

"Is the forum losing members?"

"When the movies are done coming out, will we still get new members?"

"Will we eventually cover every possible topic having anything to do with Middle Earth?"

I've seen these type of questions asked before, and I imagine they are not going to stop any time soon. It seems everyone is interested in what the future holds for The Barrow-Downs and its members.

So, here is a place to post your predictions.

You prediction can be serious- I believe that BW is going to retire next year and leave the site to Sharku.

Your prediction can be silly- I think that the members of this site will eventually get together and form their own little island nation.

You can make predictions about members, threads, and anything else you want (related to Tolkien or the forum, that is).

Have fun!

the phantom predicts-
- burrahobbit receives 1000 rep points for a three word post
- Sophia the Thunder Mistress gets struck by lightning
- Tigerlily Gamgee is cast as Eowyn in the broadway production of Lord of the Rings
- after complaining about Eowyn's limited stage time, Tig is demoted to Orc #43
- the 1000th Balrog Wing thread started by Newbie91
- BW, who has been growing more vicious over the years, tracks down Newbie91 and eats him
- The Saucepan Man realizes he is a better reader now than when he was five
- Bethberry learns how to put aside her baggage and rereads LOTR, she enjoys it more than ever, Davem says "I told you so"
- Bethberry kills Davem
- Lalwende makes Bethberry into Bethberry Pie
- Mark12_30 arrested for an act of extreme debauchery
- Lush joins a convent, says she's always been a puritan sort of person at heart
- Eomer of the Rohirrim slain by a warg rider
- the phantom becomes more arrogant
- Gil-Galad walks into an open manhole, investigators say he didn't see it due to the cape over his face
- Fea wins international acclaim for her life-size Statue of Liberty replica, constructed entirely out of pop cans
- true to his name, Mister Underhill is buried beneath a landslide
- Esty begins demanding that her family call her "Fiona", insists she is part ogre, put into an institution
- the guy who be short's doctor informs him that his screen name is stunting his growth
- the first manned expedition to Mars discovers life on the red planet- hobbits!
- Steven Spielberg directs a blockbuster hit about a doomed colony on Mars that is attacked and eaten by hobbits, Tolkien purists cry foul
- thanks to breakthroughs in chiropractic knowledge, the stiff necks of the elves and dwarves are cured
- littlemanpoet is killed by a werewolf
- the phrase "Doing an HI" becomes entrenched in modern business lingo as a term for reviving old projects
- the phantom is overwhelmed with reps and pms praising his idea for this thread as well as his immensely enjoyable first post
- after a brief period of popularity, BW is forced to close the thread down, mainly because of pointless off-topic posts written primarily by Ainaserkewen, Dancing Spawn, and perplexingly- Mister Underhill

[the guy who be short]

I predict: The phantom edits the above post to stop it looking like a list thread.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I predict that every member of this forum will at some point be forced to under-go extreme psychiatric evaluation because of recurring WW dreams.

Burrahobbit will inherit the site from BW, immediately closing it with his only words of explanation being "It's done."

Estelyn will burn her passport and live in a private hole in the middle of nowhere.

Peter Jackson will become a devoted member of the forum, and realizing the error of his Faramir-warping ways, will create a privately funded re-make of his films, catering to every opinion here stated. His balrogs will have flashing wings (sometimes there, sometimes not), his Boromir will have black hair, his Arwen will sit quietly in a corner embroidering a banner.

The phantom will admit to the world that Fea is smarter and sneakier than him. He will then stop flirting with all of the female members.

[Orominuialwen]

I predict that every member of this forum will at some point be forced to under-go extreme psychiatric evaluation because of recurring WW dreams.

I'd second that one. I had one last night which I can't remember for the life of me, but I'm positive was WW-related.

I predict that within the next five years or so, Feanor and the phantom will get married and we will have yet another Barrow-Downs wedding on our hands.

Eventually nobody will ever be able to get any more rep points because we will all have so many.

[the phantom]

The Future of the Downs, Middle Earth style-

October, 2005- the phantom begins forging, in secret, his Ring of Arrogance.

November, 2005- the phantom recruits nine ring wraiths to serve as his primary generals. Among them are Fea, Kuruharan, The Only Real Estel, and their captain- The Saucepan Man of Angmar.

February, 2006- the phantom openly declares his intentions of taking over The Barrow-Downs. King Barrow-Wight and his sons, Sharku and Mithadan, lead the resistance against him.

March, 2006- Gil-Galad and his elven host arrive to help.

June, 2006- the phantom and his minions are forced back into their fortresses in the Middle Earth Mirth forum.

July, 2006- BW and Gil lead an assault on the Werewolf Threads, the phantom's primary base. the phantom comes out to do battle with them. During the duel, the phantom shoots Gil with his own pun, and strikes BW with his own Thread-Closing Hammer, but as BW falls, he strikes the phantom directly in the IP, rendering him temporarily inactive. Sharku takes full advantage of the moment and takes the phantom's Ring. the phantom's forces flee.

August, 2006- The forum is split in two. Sharku becomes Administrator of the Northern Forum, while Mithadan becomes Administrator of the Southern Forum. On his way to the Northern Forum, Sharku loses the Ring and is unable to find it.

January, 2007- Mithadan retires from his position as Administrator. His heirs, lindil and Child, slay each other in a contest to determine who would inherit the throne.

February, 2007- Davem and Lalwende are elected as Stewards, and are charged with keeping the forum running until the day that the Administrator returns. Their son, Davem Junior, is angry that his father is only called a "steward" rather than an "administrator".

April, 2007- The Northern Forum, which had been losing members steadily, became little more than a chat room- but the line of Administrators remained unbroken.

July, 2007- Rumors begin to circulate about the reemergence of the phantom.

September, 2007- the phantom openly declares himself on the All About You thread, and attacks the forum. Legions of pro-Feanor and anti-Galadriel posts begin seeping into The Books. Winged and unwinged Balrog threads pop up everywhere. Chat speak runs rampant.

October, 2007- To assist the beleaguered site, Valinor sends HerenIstarion.

January, 2008- Just as The Books are about to fall to the phantom's forces, Rimbaud, the heir of Sharku, and HerenIstarion come out of the Northern Forums, along with Eomer of the Rohirrim leading his army of warg riders.

February, 2008- Rimbaud and HI realize that their victory was only temporary, and that they will soon fall to the phantom if his Ring is not found and destroyed. Knowing that haste is needed, they ask burrahobbit to do the job. Later that day, he finds the Ring, and before it has a chance to corrupt him he chucks it into Mount Deletion.

Villagers win!

Peter Jackson will become a devoted member of the forum...will create a privately funded re-make of his films, catering to every opinion here stated

That would be nice.

He will then stop flirting with all of the female members

The least likely prediction I've seen thus far.

I predict that within the next five years of so, Feanor and the phantom will get married and we will have yet another Barrow-Downs wedding on our hands.

How do you know we haven't wed already and have just been keeping mum?

Or perhaps we are the same person, and I created the Fea account to interact with just to make myself look more popular?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Very funny.

I predict that, within the year, Werewolf Games will join Balrog Wing threads in the Land of Shadow.

I also predict that, within 3 or 4 years, there will be a massive Barrowdowns party (in real life) most likely held in America in summertime. Including rambunctious antics and lewd behaviour.

[Meneltarmacil]

The Fortunately/Unfortunately thread will keep going for a while, at least until Gil-Galad, the Elf-warrior, and the guy who be short start a gigantic fight to the death on it.

Nilpaurion Felagund and myself will wind up bombing each other out of existance in the Quiz Room eventually.

Also, is it just me, or are more and more people forgetting about Boromir the Disco King lately?

[Formendacil]

Sometime in the distant future, Formendacil will become known as one of the "Old Guard"...

A new forum will be created when the Silmarillion goes into the public domain.

Eomer of the Rohirrim, The Saucepan Man, and the Phantom will all be consigned to the "the old fuddy-duddies group".

The Barrowdown's colour scheme will switch to purple and green to match the Barrow-Wight's new avatar.

Formendacil will have his rep jewels reset for perpetuating a religious argument, as will Alatar, Lalwende, Bethberry, and Davem.

Feanor of the Peredhil will legislate for a name-change to Feanor of the Quendi.

Fordim Hedgethistle will be seen wearing Indy's fedora.

Lhunardawen will replace Estelyn Telcontar as curator of the Chapter-by-Chapter discussions.

The Crazy Captions will reach 300 pages. (12000 posts....)

[Oddwen]

Sometime in the future, the next level in the Rep scale will be "______ has reunified the Entish Bow".

Corpses with enough rep points will be able to use colored text in their signatures, however said text must be a quote from Tolkien's works.

Once the rep box limits are reached, boxes start diminishing. Davem, Lalwende, and SpM are soon "Acting a bit like Ted Sandyman", and post many off-topic nonsense posts in hopes to once again be on top of Taniquetil (and the Member's List).

Any new topic with the words "Balrog", "Elf", "Bombadil" or "Barrowdowner" will be automatically deleted.

When the phantom is head of the boards, anyone who doesn't post at least once a day will have their account deleted.

He will also rename the mods "Guardians", appoint Feanor of the Quendi as Immortal Hunter, and hold daily votes to delete newbie accounts.

Ilpaurionay Egalundfay's alter egos will eat his soul, and then occupy equal halves of his body. They will be at odds with each other, and we will see some very wierd posts.

Boromir the Disco King will be nothing but a faded signature in Elrond's Guestbook. Only two people will remember it, and when it is mentioned, one of them will start hissing and muttering "Squid" deep in her throat. The other will merely eat the bananas thrown through his cage and "ook" thoughtfully.

Someone will have as their signature these lines:

Hey, remember that old Predictions thread, and how we laughed?
How naive we were then, children,
My account was lynched this morning.

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by the phantom

the phantom predicts-
. . .
- Bethberry learns how to put aside her baggage and rereads LOTR, she enjoys it more than ever, Davem says "I told you so"
- Bethberry kills Davem
- Lalwende makes Bethberry into Bethberry Pie
. . .

Here's to your blarney stone, the phantom:


Four and twenty blackbirds will arise from Lalwende's Bethberry pie and sing the story of events from an eyewitness account, therebye putting to rest davem's conceit, of the Translator variety as well as others.

Amanaduial the Archer will edit all her RPGs for eucatastrophes, under the expert auspices of Helen 12_30.

Kuruharan will show Thenamir how to run a hugely inflated profit-making Barrow Downs store.

Aiwendil and lindil will be hired by the Tolkien Estate to publish the results of the Silmarillion project on the basis of Christopher Tolkien's acknowledgement that their rhyming names reflecting a previously unknown elvish dialect referred to as Black Elvish because of its similarity to an old Irish language.

the phantom will hack the Squatter smilie to replace it with his own name.

The Squatter of Amon Rudh and Fordim Hedgethistle will engage in a battle of canonicity, posting mainly in Old English--as the youngsters here understand Old English, being erudite, eloquent, and long-sentenced, with words over five syllables long.

Child of the 7thAge will forsake RPGs as a postmodern muddle of the true history of Middle earth and piosenniel will unlock The Shire, deciding that Aragorn had the wrong idea how to save the hobbits. Mithadan will invite Cuthalion and Maikadilwen back to help him run The Shire.

Legolas will volunteer to help Estelyn write The Light at the End of the Entish Bow, or, The Simarillion Condensed into Five Easy Ages.

Mr Underhill will retire from the Downs when he realises that Neil Gaiman is a better fantasy writer than Tolkien.

Sharku will start speaking again in chat, but this time in tongues which no one can understand, not even those who have studied Quenya with the guy who be short. burrahobbit will translate.

[Amanaduial the archer]

When the phantom is head of the boards

When? When?! There is no hope! Run for the hills, get the women and children in the lifeboats first, and many more panicked mixed metaphors!

However...

piosenniel will unlock The Shire, deciding that Aragorn had the wrong idea how to save the hobbits.

Well now there's a thought for you...*evil*

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by the phantom

the phantom becomes more arrogant

That's the only really credible prediction so far (and he should know).

[Amanaduial the archer]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

That's the only really credible prediction so far (and he should know).

I wouldn't say so - how can an impossibility be credible? Surely one head can only take so much swelling...surely...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I've got this theory that the 'Downs will one day spontaneously combust, due to all of the flaming balrogs debates that have been tucked away into a frictiony little corner of the forum.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

On CbC

The CbC thread, after finishing LR and The Hobbit, will go into HoMe.

Esty, after hearing the thousandth newbie ask what HoMe is, will go on a newbie lynching spree.

Because of Form's post # 8, my sister the Lhunatic will seize her chance to become mod/curator.

She will lose, as Princess Fiona knows martial arts, and she knows only how to summon slugs (don't ask).

Ach. My mind is too busy. Can't . . . think . . . predictable . . . predictions.

[Oddwen]

Sometime in the future...The Barrow-Wight will put up audio clips on the main page, greetings from actual Downers.
Some of these clips would be:

The Mighty Wighty: Welcome to the Barrowdowns, the best place to discuss Tolkien and his works. Stay on topic and no-one will get hurt.
Burrahobbit: Hi.
the phantom: This is the phantom.
Sharku: *blank silence*
Lalwende & Davem (alternating words): Welcome to the Barrowdowns! Enjoy your stay! *which button do I push?* *No, not that one!*
Mormegil: Ook Ook eeeeeeeeeek! *gunshot*

Sometime after the phantom's insurrection is crushed, it will be discovered that banned member Helkahothalion has been posting happily for many years...as Estelyn Telcontar!

[the guy who be short]

I find it very likely that a new member will appear, calling himself the anti-phantom. The arrogance of the phantom and his anti-self will clash, causing a great rift in the Downs, with each member joining one of the two sides.
Much flaming will ensue as BDer turns on BDer, and the forums descend into chaos and punnery.
Eventually, as the situation becomes so ban that the B-W announces the closing of the forums in the very near future, the phantom declares that he created the anti-phantom to boost his popularity.

Oddwen will have more terrible puns in her signature that I shall invariably steal.

Fea and tp will be wolves together in Tol-in-Gaurhoth.

*Shameless Plug*
I predict people will click the link in my siggy and decide they want to learn Quenya to better understand Tolkien. Especially men... so far we have about 10 women and me. I'm not sure why...

[Shelob]

"I find it very likely that a new member will appear, calling himself the anti-phantom. The arrogance of the phantom and his anti-self will clash, causing a great rift in the Downs, with each member joining one of the two sides." ~TGWBS

Like combining Acids and Bases? Or maybe it would be more like that Star Trek episode? Either way it wouldn't suprise me much...

As for Making my own prediction...Maybe I'll click that link in The Guy Who Be Short's signature...

[burrahobbit]

the phantom predicts-
- burrahobbit receives 1000 rep points for a three word post

That already happened.

[High King Fingolfin]

Eomer's prediction about me will prove completely correct.

The Warg and Warg Rider Appreciation Thread will eventually be abandoned by everyone except Eomer, SamwiseGamgee, and me.

Do the Wave for Boromir th Disco King will eventually be completely forgotten, until someone else makes it up again.

[Gil-Galad]

*ah-Hem* i shall post some Predictions Conan O'Brien-esc


The Saucepan Man will confront The Phantom with statistics that he is getting more arrogant and state "Numbers don't lie", The Phantom will respond by putting on a number Four outfit and run around yelling "I'm the number five!"


Eomer of the Rohirrim will become more dominant on the downs and strive to learn all the secrets, and when the Barrow-Wight decides to pass it down, he passes it to Eomer and gives Eomer the many secrets of the downs that Mr.Wight has been hiding, unfortunatley it is only a Apple-Crisp recipe that B-W found in Grocery-newstand magazine last week

Feanor of the Peredhil will find a Scythe in her dumpster and beleive that Death visited her house that night causing major hysteria, Elronds_Daughter will find a Light-Saber in her dumpster and accidently cut her head off while showing off to friends

Gwaihir The Wind Lord, Legolas, and Sleepy Ranger will return and cause major reform that will bring the Barrowdowns to the front pages, unfortunately Mithadan will try and gain credit from it, thus making it a complete failure and a huge scar to the downers community...again

Gil-Galad will join forces with Nimrodel_9, Kath and Esgallhugwen, forming Gil-Galads Angels, originally named Gil-Galads Black Turnips of major-and-hurtful doom

maybe more later...

[Nimrodel_9]

Gil-Galad will join forces with Nimrodel_9, Kath and Esgallhugwen, forming Gil-Galads Angels, originally named Gil-Galads Black Turnips of major-and-hurtful doom

Oh! Oh! Sounds like fun!

Here's a strange thought:

Someday we will all be dead in the 'real world' and the BD will be taken over by completely new downers.

I predict that Nimrodel (myself) will move out of the house, have her own computer, and get on the BDs whenever she wants. Never again will her mother say, "No more internet until September!" She will no longer have to wait until her mom leaves the house to get on... *evil*

EDIT: I also predict that evil smiley will come back. *hopeful grin*

[The Only Real Estel]

I think I can make a fairly safe prediction that one day in the future Morsul the Dark will regain the ability to have an avatar and start up the 'one avatar per day' tradition that he created.

p.s. On another Morsul note. I'll bet that, contrary to his signature, he will say 'BOOYAA' at least once more.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

One day, The New Silmarillion Forum will publish their work!

There will also be a book realised called "My life as a Dead man" by The Barrow Wight. It will be a best seller for three years until a scandal arises about the Barrow Wight not actually being dead.

[Gurthang]

Originally posted by HerenIstarion
How do you know we foreigners have comprehensible accents? Or, on the other hand, what we poor foreigners should make out of some some native speaker who's wpm (word-per-minute) rate exceeds 300? Unless, of course, there would be video files and subtitles provided...

Hmmm. I hadn't thought of that. It might be rather difficult since this forum has members from around the globe. The video would help a bunch; although the subtitles would somewhat defeat the purpose, since we'd most likely have to type them up ourselves.

[the guy who be short]

Very soon, a new thread will be created in N&N entitled "What do you un-assign to Mordor?" Most replies will centre on Johnny Depp.

The B-W will decide we're all idiots and tell us how he made the new reps!

or

The phantom will take one look at the reps thread and figure it out.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Make sure you buy Mr Wight's Book!

Buy it from Amaz.co.uk!

Or you shall be cast out of the Downs!

[Child of the 7th Age]

Much to my delight, the copyright covering the Professor's works will finally expire. Those posters composing fanfiction and rpg's will be able to publish their awe-inspiring tales and collect the monetary rewards they so richly deserve.

Piosenniel , in particular, will be fabulously wealthy, having figured out a way to syndicate the Shire's rpg's to a burgeoning number of cable channels. Estelyn Telcontar will follow close on her heels, acclaimed for her ten-volume "History of the Hobbit Folco" and her personal reminiscences "My Life as a Tolkien Fan," which was actually a download of her blog. Mark12_30 will be represented in a number of newspapers with a syndicated comic strip on the continuing adventures of Bolco. B-W will be living in a fortress that resembles Minas Tirith. This is the result of having struck a deal that all literary works with their origins on the Downs must kick back at least 25% of publishing profits if the respective authors wish to maintain their BD accounts.

After much arm twisting, Ms. Bethberry and Master Fordhim will have persuaded Harold Bloom to publish their seminal literary study The Death of the Author When Viewed in Light of Contemporary Tolkien Emulators (a.k.a. "rip-off artists") as part of the Modern Critical Interpretations Series. But even their fame will pale in comparison with that of Mithadan. His Tales from Tol Eressea topped the best seller charts for over seventy weeks with yet no sign of letting up! He has purchased a large sailing ship, renamed it the "Lonely Star II", and retired from the legal profession.

And let us nor forget that Mr. Underhill finally made the long-awaited and fabulously lucrative Hobbit pre-quel--the one that PJ filched on--of which he is the scriptwriter, director, and plays the role of Bilbo as well as filling in occasionally for Smaug.

Alas, others have fared more poorly! Master Davem had a hissy fit when he learned that a flood of Middle-earth 'wanna-bes' would soon hit the market. After a series of spirited and doggedly stubborn appeals in the BD books forum that pointed out the dangers of this heretical approach, he was locked out of his own account (no one is saying by whom) and has taken up life as an itinerant "preacher", accompanied by his spouse. The pair travel the backroads of rural England and warn readers against the danger of adulterating the purity of the author's original text.

P.S. It is sadly acknowledged that Child the Hobbit, who is threating to challenge Bilbo's record for longevity, is being temporarily detained at a holding facility, euphemistically termed a rest and retirement home. This followed closely on the publication of her life's work: It's All True! HoMe as the Real History of Our Planet . Unfortunately, she can not be reached for further comment.....

P.P.S. Only Child would be silly enough to make a post this long in mirth!

[The Perky Ent]

I predict there will be a WWXI

oh, and Bethberry will turn Rohan into the BD's first interactive theme park!

[Sleepy Ranger]

Gil-Galad predicted I'd return and start a major reform. Amazing, I plan to restore Quotes to its former glory and I doubt anybody can steal my self-proclaimed title of 'King of Quotes'.

Anyway I predict that Sleepy Ranger will stay this time and not mysteriously vanish for long periods of time any more. I also predict that within a week Sleepy Ranger will be back to posting where ever he feels like. I also predict that nobody will break Sleepy Ranger's 9 second record.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

In regards to Sleepy's avatar; I predict that player 2 will win the game of pong.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Happy 100 post to me ! ! !

I am so happy!

and what is this? with this post i suddenly get the abilety to see in to the future of the downs.

And here is the first sight allready: It is me, no longer am i to be that anoying newbie, with the stupid/easy questions. I am going to be that anoying pseudo-newbie with the stupid/easy questions.

And even futher into the future: my rep points is rising and rising! what a joy!
See i am siting on High Taniquetil, having sophist. . . ehm. Conversations with such admirebel people as:

The Perky Ent
Gil-Galad -The ever loveable (They will be there to at this point)
the guy who be short
The Only Real Estel
and
The Saucepan Man

(Just to mention some)

[Gil-Galad]

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

Gil-Galad -The ever loveable

Flattery will get you no where...except a new car!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

There will appear a group called "CoBDaGGU" Or "Citizens of the Barrow Downs against Gandalf the Grey Uncloaked". They will stage protests against this abomination. However, they will all get run over by Mount Zoom.

Someone will one day make an animated TV series of the Barrow Downs. It will chronicle the adventures of the Barrow Wight and his moderators as they attempt to rid the Downs of 'Trolls'. It will be cancelled after the pilot.

[Eluchíl]

*high-pitched voice* In the year two-thouuuusaaaand...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I predict that the record-length "Reunification of the Entish Bow" RPG will finally finish in 2006. Am I willing to bet on it? Not any substantial sum...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I will start a group called "CoBDpGGU" Or "Citizens of the Barrow Downs pro Gandalf the Grey Uncloaked".

[Lalwendë]

Mystic Meg (what happened to her?) predicts that in the year 2006 at least one Barrow-downer will attend a Tolkien convention costumed as Gandalf The Grey, Uncloaked.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

March, 2006- Gil-Galad and his elven host arrive to help. (the phantom - way back in post#5)

Where's the Elf-host, Gil?

[Lalwendë]

I predict that in about 40 posts from now, Crazy captions will spontaneously combust as its clock goes over the 10,000 mark. Night will turn into day. Orcses will be turned back into Elvses. Elvses will be turned into Elvises. And Gandalf's cloak will be caught beneath the wheels of Mount Zoom.

I'm thinking of setting up a book on who gets the first post of the next 10,000 in. Odds on Mr Hookbill are evens.