Totaly inapropriate! - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-02-2005, 10:17 AM

Okay, I've had a good search of these here Forums and couldn't find a similar thread, but I may have missed it so forgive me if I have...

Talking to my older sibling, we came up with an amusing game in which we named the most inappropriate actor (and or famous personality) to play the part of a Character from Tolkien. Not just The Lord of the Rings, but also; The Hobbit, The Silmarillion, Farmer Giles of Ham, Tom Bombadill ect and so on.

Expanding on this, we then continued to make up other situations, such as; completely inappropriate music for certain scenes, silly hats, sound effects and so on.

So here is my idea for this thread:

Chose from the following (or do all of them if ye wish)
- Come up with a completely ironic / inappropriate person to play a part of a character from Tolkien.
- Music that would be amusing in a specific place.
- Sound effects that would make the whole experience much more amusing

I want to give everyone a lot of freedom in this, so if you can come up with something more amusing to parody besides actors, music, sound effect ect, please do.

Oh, and if you wish, give an explanation for you choice.

SO finally, here's my take:

Brian Blessed to play Legolass for the soul reason that his voice is completely different to what any elf should have, also, he looks rather Dwarvish.

"In the Hall of the Mountain King" (Or "That tune they use at Alton Towers" for all ye who don't know what I'm talking about) for the Shire theme music. Perhaps not during the scoring of the shire, but when it is peaceful it would really give the wrong impression.

Instead of the clash of metal when swords collide, the sound of a small furry thing being put through a mangle. That way no one really notices the violence due to the pure insanity of the sound effects.

Please enjoy.

Shelob · 04-02-2005, 10:48 AM

Music:
If any of you are familiar with 'the fish heads' song (fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads, fish heads, fish heads, eat them up yum!) it should definately be heared faintly when Bilbo first meets Gollum (or, failing that, sung by Gollum)
I don't actually know the name of the song, but I get the line "I can see clearly now..." from it suck in my head all the time, anyway, that song when Frodo decides to keep the ring for himself at Mt. Doom.

Sound Effects:
The sounds of two light sabers (Star Wars) hitting instead of swords.
Similarly, the sounds of phasers (Star Trek) instead of arrows.

And as a suggestion, what about really rather inappropriate lines?
To explain this I would give the example that while my brother and I were watching The Return of the King one day when the King of the Dead said "who dares to disturb us?" (or something like that---I can't remember exactly) I responded "Pizza delivery boy." (I was rather hungry, so pizza was the only thing I could think of) My brother picked up on the general idea and then responded for the King of the Dead...and things spiralled downhill from there.

I don't mean for people to type out whole conversations, just single lines which are really out of place given the actual context.

(I just realized this is my 52nd post, Yay!--if you wonder why this number is better than, say, 50 itself I highly suggest you go count the number of cards in a standard deck of cards [ie: one with four suits and 13 values per suites])

malkatoj · 04-02-2005, 12:32 PM

Andre the Giant (Fezzik) as Legolas
Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya) as Arwen
Chris Sarandon (Prince Humperdinck) as Sauron
Billy Crystal (Miracle Max) as Elrond
Wallace Shawn (Vizzini) as Aragorn
Cary Elwes (Westley) as Wormtongue
Robin Wright Penn (Buttercup) as Gimli

Yeah, that sounds pretty terrible. For the most effect, they have to keep the same personalities...

Shelob · 04-05-2005, 09:57 AM

I showed this thread to my brother (along with a handful of others...we're really bored) and as soon as he understood the idea he suggested this wonderful piece of inappropriatness:

"I think the best sound effect would be when the balrog comes on, y'know he steps on the bridge and there's kinda a stomping noise, well instead of that there should be a squishing noise...'ahh Gandalf!'"

Thank you brother..you made my day.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-05-2005, 10:22 AM

Squeaking noises need to be put in every time a hobbit foot lands on the ground. Because this would make the Frodo and Sam parts slightly more amusing:

Gollum: the dead mashes they are.

Sam: They do *squeak* make an *squeak* awful *squeak* smell.

Circus music for Moria. No explanation needed I think

SamwiseGamgee · 04-05-2005, 12:11 PM

How about having stupid hyena things as wargs!

No, but seriously. Good topic Hookbill. How about Hulk Hogan as Gandalf. Perhaps Joe Pasquali as the voice of Sauron?

How about Rage Against The Machine's 'Take the power back' when Frodo throws the Ring into the Crack of Doom.

There are heaps more, but they're either too surreal or rude! Haha!

Melkor · 04-07-2005, 03:12 PM

Tom Cruise as Frodo

Melkor · 04-07-2005, 03:17 PM

Id like to see sam and Frodo play dance revolution in the house of rivindel

Nimrodel_9 · 04-07-2005, 05:39 PM

Quote:

And Nimrodel, what about Boromir singing albinoblacksheep's NumaNuma?

Ha ha! That's great!

Quote:

Tom Cruise as Frodo.

Oh yeah!

"Wipeout" as the fellowship travel down the Great River.

Lathriel · 04-07-2005, 06:29 PM

Sandra Bullock as Arwen
Sound effect:her laugh as in Miss Congenialty

Elrond:Robin Williams (Mr serious has taken a comic turn.)

arcticstorm · 04-07-2005, 08:09 PM

Yul Brenner as Aragorn

The Only Real Estel · 04-07-2005, 08:15 PM

For music I keep hearing that "One Two Step" song being blasted as the hobbits dance at Bilbo's birthday party. Especially when Gandalf starts hopping around with one hand up in the air--great, now that scene has been ruined for me forever

!

deal_with_it · 04-02-2006, 09:42 PM

From LOST tv show:

Sawyer would make a good Boromir

Charlie could be well.. he (Dominic) already got to be someone didn't he? but his character on Lost is closer to Pippin

Hurley = Sam Gamgee, maybe Butterbur
Jack = Aragorn (especially if he's got some athelas)
Kate = Arwen or Eowyn
Sayid = hmm maybe Gimli

Farael · 04-02-2006, 10:16 PM

Every time Legolas does a phisically impossible stunt, the Indiana Jones theme music should be playing!!!

When the easterlings mounted on Oliphaunts are marching in, they should all be singing "na... na... na... naranana.... nananana... Hey Jude..."

deal_with_it · 04-04-2006, 05:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farael

Every time Legolas does a phisically impossible stunt, the Indiana Jones theme music should be playing!!!

When the easterlings mounted on Oliphaunts are marching in, they should all be singing "na... na... na... naranana.... nananana... Hey Jude..."

Those were Haradrim marching north up the Harad Road through Ithilien, not Easterlings.

Farael · 04-04-2006, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deal_with_it

Those were Haradrim marching north up the Harad Road through Ithilien, not Easterlings.

My mistake, but you get the point =) Edit: No, you didn't... I meant during the Siege of Minas Tirith.

How about, when the fellowship leaves Lothlorien in the elven boats, Aragorn starts singing "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream.... "

Promplty joined by Boromir and an off-screen voice that strangely resembles Gandalf's

Legolas in spandex · 04-08-2006, 02:51 PM

Character: Paris Hilton as Galadriel
Music: Right after Elrond says DOOM! at the council, there should be the music "It's the end of the world as we know it..."

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-01-2006, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legolas in spandex

Music: Right after Elrond says DOOM! at the council, there should be the music "It's the end of the world as we know it..."

A probably even more inapropriate music would be something like 'The Laughing Police man'.

Kath · 09-01-2006, 05:34 PM

Perhaps when we first see the Uruk-hai being 'created' down in Saruman's mines we should hear:

"It's life Jim, but not as we know it!"

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 09-26-2006, 10:20 AM

Or we could go old, old, incredibly old-school.

Charlie Chaplin as Glorfindel
Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy as Legolas and Gimli
Harold Lloyd as Aragorn
Greta Garbo as Shelob
Fatty Arbuckle as Aragorn
Groucho Marx as Gandalf (naturally with Chico as Saruman and Harpo as Radagast)
The Three Stooges as Denethor, Boromir and Faramir
Sir Lawrence Olivier as Gollum.
Marlene Dietrich as Ioreth
Randolph Scott as Frodo

Or we could do Carry on Follow that Ring

Sid James as Aragorn
Joan Sims as Arwen
Barbara Windsor as Eowyn
Kenneth Connor as Gandalf
Kenneth Williams as Saruman
Hattie Jaques as Galadriel
Charles Hawtrey as Celeborn
Bernard Bresslaw as Frodo
Peter Butterworth as Merry
Terry Scott as Pippin
Phil Silvers as Denethor

Naturally the music would need to match the cast. The overall theme could be an instrumental of the theme music from Chitty-chitty Bang Bang played on a kazoo. For the first sight of the Shire, we could have Strauss' Also Sprach Zarathustra from 2001: a space odyssey; Lothlorien would be seen to the strains of the Imperial March from Star Wars, and the entry into Bree would be accompanied by The Dance of the Knights from Prokoviev's Romeo and Juliet. Gandalf would confront the Witch-king at Minas Tirith to the theme music from Roobarb and Aragorn's leitmotif would be a hornpipe played on a tin whistle. For the Mordor scenes, to lighten the mood, a quartet of trombones could play The Teddy-Bears' Picnic. Naturally the swelling chords of Singin' in the Rain would augment the atmosphere at the Field of Cormallen.

Rikae · 10-08-2006, 12:03 PM

Elmer Fudd as Gollum/Smeagol
"Be vewwy, vewwy quiet...we're hunting wabbitsssesss!"

This is not mine, but I like it:
Replace the fell beasts with gigantic plush puppy dogs.

Richard Simmons as Aragorn

Fran Drescher as Arwen

Elijah Wood as Frodo.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-02-2006, 11:37 PM

I think it would be amusing to see (or rather, hear) Seth MacFarlane (aka that guy who does Family Guy) doing the voice of Gollum in the Peter Griffin voice.

OR

The Magic Roundabout theme to play whenever Sauron appears.

04-02-2005, 10:17 AM	#1
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Totaly inapropriate! Okay, I've had a good search of these here Forums and couldn't find a similar thread, but I may have missed it so forgive me if I have... Talking to my older sibling, we came up with an amusing game in which we named the most inappropriate actor (and or famous personality) to play the part of a Character from Tolkien. Not just The Lord of the Rings, but also; The Hobbit, The Silmarillion, Farmer Giles of Ham, Tom Bombadill ect and so on. Expanding on this, we then continued to make up other situations, such as; completely inappropriate music for certain scenes, silly hats, sound effects and so on. So here is my idea for this thread: Chose from the following (or do all of them if ye wish) - Come up with a completely ironic / inappropriate person to play a part of a character from Tolkien. - Music that would be amusing in a specific place. - Sound effects that would make the whole experience much more amusing I want to give everyone a lot of freedom in this, so if you can come up with something more amusing to parody besides actors, music, sound effect ect, please do. Oh, and if you wish, give an explanation for you choice. SO finally, here's my take: Brian Blessed to play Legolass for the soul reason that his voice is completely different to what any elf should have, also, he looks rather Dwarvish. "In the Hall of the Mountain King" (Or "That tune they use at Alton Towers" for all ye who don't know what I'm talking about) for the Shire theme music. Perhaps not during the scoring of the shire, but when it is peaceful it would really give the wrong impression. Instead of the clash of metal when swords collide, the sound of a small furry thing being put through a mangle. That way no one really notices the violence due to the pure insanity of the sound effects. Please enjoy. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-02-2005, 10:48 AM	#2
Shelob Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: At the abysmal Abyss Mall. Posts: 276	Music: If any of you are familiar with 'the fish heads' song (fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads, fish heads, fish heads, eat them up yum!) it should definately be heared faintly when Bilbo first meets Gollum (or, failing that, sung by Gollum) I don't actually know the name of the song, but I get the line "I can see clearly now..." from it suck in my head all the time, anyway, that song when Frodo decides to keep the ring for himself at Mt. Doom. Sound Effects: The sounds of two light sabers (Star Wars) hitting instead of swords. Similarly, the sounds of phasers (Star Trek) instead of arrows. And as a suggestion, what about really rather inappropriate lines? To explain this I would give the example that while my brother and I were watching The Return of the King one day when the King of the Dead said "who dares to disturb us?" (or something like that---I can't remember exactly) I responded "Pizza delivery boy." (I was rather hungry, so pizza was the only thing I could think of) My brother picked up on the general idea and then responded for the King of the Dead...and things spiralled downhill from there. I don't mean for people to type out whole conversations, just single lines which are really out of place given the actual context. (I just realized this is my 52nd post, Yay!--if you wonder why this number is better than, say, 50 itself I highly suggest you go count the number of cards in a standard deck of cards [ie: one with four suits and 13 values per suites]) __________________ A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name ~Evan Esar. Pan for Everyone! Last edited by Shelob; 04-04-2005 at 02:00 PM.

04-02-2005, 12:32 PM	#3
malkatoj Wight Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: A hovel in Florin Posts: 173	The Princess Bride meets The Lord of the Rings Andre the Giant (Fezzik) as Legolas Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya) as Arwen Chris Sarandon (Prince Humperdinck) as Sauron Billy Crystal (Miracle Max) as Elrond Wallace Shawn (Vizzini) as Aragorn Cary Elwes (Westley) as Wormtongue Robin Wright Penn (Buttercup) as Gimli Yeah, that sounds pretty terrible. For the most effect, they have to keep the same personalities...

04-05-2005, 09:57 AM	#4
Shelob Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: At the abysmal Abyss Mall. Posts: 276	I showed this thread to my brother (along with a handful of others...we're really bored) and as soon as he understood the idea he suggested this wonderful piece of inappropriatness: "I think the best sound effect would be when the balrog comes on, y'know he steps on the bridge and there's kinda a stomping noise, well instead of that there should be a squishing noise...'ahh Gandalf!'" Thank you brother..you made my day. __________________ A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name ~Evan Esar. Pan for Everyone!

04-05-2005, 10:22 AM	#5
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Squeaking noises need to be put in every time a hobbit foot lands on the ground. Because this would make the Frodo and Sam parts slightly more amusing: Gollum: the dead mashes they are. Sam: They do squeak make an squeak awful squeak smell. Circus music for Moria. No explanation needed I think __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-05-2005, 12:11 PM	#6
SamwiseGamgee Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: In the warm bosom of a Warg Posts: 378	How about having stupid hyena things as wargs! No, but seriously. Good topic Hookbill. How about Hulk Hogan as Gandalf. Perhaps Joe Pasquali as the voice of Sauron? How about Rage Against The Machine's 'Take the power back' when Frodo throws the Ring into the Crack of Doom. There are heaps more, but they're either too surreal or rude! Haha! __________________ -- Well, I'm back.

04-07-2005, 03:12 PM	#7
Melkor Pile O'Bones Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: MD Posts: 11	inapropriate Tom Cruise as Frodo

04-07-2005, 03:17 PM	#8
Melkor Pile O'Bones Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: MD Posts: 11	dance Id like to see sam and Frodo play dance revolution in the house of rivindel

04-07-2005, 06:29 PM	#10
Lathriel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Wandering through Middle-Earth (Sadly in Alberta and not ME) Posts: 612	Sandra Bullock as Arwen Sound effect:her laugh as in Miss Congenialty Elrond:Robin Williams (Mr serious has taken a comic turn.) __________________ Back again

04-07-2005, 08:09 PM	#11
arcticstorm Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Johnson Bible College: Knoxville, TN Posts: 464	Yul Brenner as Aragorn Last edited by arcticstorm; 05-06-2005 at 01:32 PM.

04-07-2005, 08:15 PM	#12
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	For music I keep hearing that "One Two Step" song being blasted as the hobbits dance at Bilbo's birthday party. Especially when Gandalf starts hopping around with one hand up in the air--great, now that scene has been ruined for me forever !

04-02-2006, 09:42 PM	#13
deal_with_it Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 42	From LOST tv show: Sawyer would make a good Boromir Charlie could be well.. he (Dominic) already got to be someone didn't he? but his character on Lost is closer to Pippin Hurley = Sam Gamgee, maybe Butterbur Jack = Aragorn (especially if he's got some athelas) Kate = Arwen or Eowyn Sayid = hmm maybe Gimli

04-02-2006, 10:16 PM	#14
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,538	I can't believe no-one mentioned this Every time Legolas does a phisically impossible stunt, the Indiana Jones theme music should be playing!!! When the easterlings mounted on Oliphaunts are marching in, they should all be singing "na... na... na... naranana.... nananana... Hey Jude..." __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

04-08-2006, 02:51 PM	#17
Legolas in spandex Wight Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 102	Character: Paris Hilton as Galadriel Music: Right after Elrond says DOOM! at the council, there should be the music "It's the end of the world as we know it..." __________________ "I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

09-01-2006, 05:34 PM	#19
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Perhaps when we first see the Uruk-hai being 'created' down in Saruman's mines we should hear: "It's life Jim, but not as we know it!" __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

09-26-2006, 10:20 AM	#20
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,178	Some bad ideas whose time has come Or we could go old, old, incredibly old-school. Charlie Chaplin as Glorfindel Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy as Legolas and Gimli Harold Lloyd as Aragorn Greta Garbo as Shelob Fatty Arbuckle as Aragorn Groucho Marx as Gandalf (naturally with Chico as Saruman and Harpo as Radagast) The Three Stooges as Denethor, Boromir and Faramir Sir Lawrence Olivier as Gollum. Marlene Dietrich as Ioreth Randolph Scott as Frodo Or we could do Carry on Follow that Ring Sid James as Aragorn Joan Sims as Arwen Barbara Windsor as Eowyn Kenneth Connor as Gandalf Kenneth Williams as Saruman Hattie Jaques as Galadriel Charles Hawtrey as Celeborn Bernard Bresslaw as Frodo Peter Butterworth as Merry Terry Scott as Pippin Phil Silvers as Denethor Naturally the music would need to match the cast. The overall theme could be an instrumental of the theme music from Chitty-chitty Bang Bang played on a kazoo. For the first sight of the Shire, we could have Strauss' Also Sprach Zarathustra from 2001: a space odyssey; Lothlorien would be seen to the strains of the Imperial March from Star Wars, and the entry into Bree would be accompanied by The Dance of the Knights from Prokoviev's Romeo and Juliet. Gandalf would confront the Witch-king at Minas Tirith to the theme music from Roobarb and Aragorn's leitmotif would be a hornpipe played on a tin whistle. For the Mordor scenes, to lighten the mood, a quartet of trombones could play The Teddy-Bears' Picnic. Naturally the swelling chords of Singin' in the Rain would augment the atmosphere at the Field of Cormallen. __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne?

10-08-2006, 12:03 PM	#21
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Elmer Fudd as Gollum/Smeagol "Be vewwy, vewwy quiet...we're hunting wabbitsssesss!" This is not mine, but I like it: Replace the fell beasts with gigantic plush puppy dogs. Richard Simmons as Aragorn Fran Drescher as Arwen Elijah Wood as Frodo.

04-02-2006, 11:37 PM	#22
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Phew, I had forgotten about this thread! I think it would be amusing to see (or rather, hear) Seth MacFarlane (aka that guy who does Family Guy) doing the voice of Gollum in the Peter Griffin voice. OR The Magic Roundabout theme to play whenever Sauron appears. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...