If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Neurion · 03-08-2005, 10:33 PM

Well, what would you do? How about it chaps?

Lostgaeriel · 03-08-2005, 10:49 PM

Send all the Gondorian lawyers out to negotiate a peace treaty.

(Relax! My sister is a lawyer - who do you think tells me all the lawyer jokes?)

lord of dor-lomin · 03-08-2005, 11:01 PM

Funny thread.

Quote:

negotiate a peace treaty

Ha ha!

Taking the French approach, I see.

What would I do? Hmm...

I know! I'd start a rumor that Turin came back to life, then I'd paint a sword black and charge at them. They'd probably run away.

If that didn't work, well, I suppose I'd ask everyone I knew if they were friends with the Ents, or at least knew where I could find a grove of orc-hating Huorns.

Lyta_Underhill · 03-08-2005, 11:31 PM

Quote:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

laugh and point and wonder how they got so small they could fit on my front door!

Then I'd cover the door with a thick coat of barn red paint to make it match the roof! Bye bye 200,000 tiny orcs!

Cheers!
Lyta

P.S. Then I'd put my tiny houseplant Huorns out and let them feast on whatever tiny orcs fell off the door...

Estelyn Telcontar · 03-09-2005, 02:17 AM

Quote:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

...resurrect Martin Luther and have him nail his 95 theses to the door - preferably with 200,000 nails!

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-09-2005, 02:56 AM

Show them they could be redeemed.

Celebuial · 03-09-2005, 03:16 AM

I don't think I'd be able to do much as the sent of my flesh would probably send them wild, so they'd jump on me and tear me to pieces!

Ok, if they didn't jump at me straight away I'd pull out The One Ring which permanently lives around my neck on its very own silver chain, and put it on. I would then be so powerful I could bend their will to leaving my front door! Not that I would then get much peace as I imagine I would now be incredibly evil and try and take over the world. This would be so much hard work I would most likely die of exhaustion!

Ok, who am I kidding? I'd slam the door shut, run to the back of the house like I was being pursued by, well, 200 000 Orcs; throw open the back door and never come back to this part of Middle-Earth again! Of course I would probably die in The Wild....

Hmmmmmmmmm. *scratches head * I seem to always end up dying....

Rimbaud · 03-09-2005, 03:36 AM

Start a business manufacturing orcish products. They'd be happy little consumers in no time, and I would become bloated and wealthy. It's the Gondorian dream.

Lalwendë · 03-09-2005, 07:17 AM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

Sigh resignedly and dig deep into my pockets as I paid for 200,000 cotton tea-towels, before signing 200,000 sponsored walk pledge sheets and saying 200,000 times "No, I don't want anything from the Avon book, thank you" before closing the door and collapsing into an exhausted heap.

lothlorien · 03-09-2005, 06:13 PM

gnomes that's so funny I'd hate to visit your house imagine the instant carnage that would be your yard every time someone came to visit and your like "Mum the knomes just killed our neighbor again"

.

Encaitare · 03-09-2005, 08:41 PM

Quote:

4. and finally i would get them to pose as gnomes so i dont get damned Jehovas Witnessess coming to the door

Call the Jehovah's Witnesses Hotline and get them all to come to my house so they can distract the orcs and try to convert them, while I slip quietly away through the back door.

The Only Real Estel · 03-09-2005, 09:41 PM

Quote:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

Um...lock the door and scream like a little girl!?

Oddwen · 03-09-2005, 10:44 PM

1) Well, first I'd hop quickly to the BarrowDowns to see what advice I could get in two-point-five seconds, and then I'd turn on my iTunes visual effects to hypnotize them, and while that was happening I'd sneak out the back door.

2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella really quickly.

3) Wake up.

4) Grab my BB gun and...fire off two shots before I die.

5) Get them involved in the Balrog Wing debate. After all, wouldn't some of them have seen/not seen wings?

6) Blast some Korn or Disturbed at them...woo, look at 'em run!

7) Start some "drums in the deep" of my own.

8) Tell them the Barrow-Wight thinks that they're off topic. (

)

9) Tell them that the general concensus is that them being on MY doorstep is non-canonical.

10) Wonder if this will interfere with my visits to the BD's...

Neurion · 03-09-2005, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oddwen

2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella really quickly.

Doubt it. I've been eating it my entire life.

Great thoughts everyone. Keep it up!

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-25-2005, 02:55 AM

200000 orcs at the door,

"Oh no, not again! What is it this time?"

OR

I'd offer them accommodation for the night, but no breakfast, they deserve no less for coming so late!

HerenIstarion · 03-25-2005, 06:39 AM

Quote:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

Close the door. Upon some reflection - stop drinking. Right now. Upon some more reflection - go splash some cold water over my head. Upon even more reflection - check the door again. If orks were still there, well, try to dispose myself to salutary mood real quick and prepare to die, meanwhile posing a question of 'yes, may I help you' (who knows, maybe it's not me they are after, after all?) in the most unobtrusive tone I could possibly manage given the circumstances.

Or maybe die of fright on the spot

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 03-25-2005, 01:48 PM

Challenge the leader and two of his best Orcs to a game of Monopoly (because it takes ages to finish) and hope to casually win them over with my lovely character. If that got a bit heated then I would amuse them with magic tricks.

The Orcs would grow to like me and leave my home without hurting anyone.

03-25-2005, 02:22 PM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would...

Smirk as they bowed in humble reverence before my dark, dimented glory.
Then I'd politely say thank you as one of them got me a Pina Colada, while the rest give me neck massages, put soothing music on the CD player, and started up the jaccuzzi.
*sigh* It's a hard life... *evil smirk*

Lalwendë · 03-25-2005, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

Challenge the leader and two of his best Orcs to a game of Monopoly (because it takes ages to finish)

I would challenge them to a game of that classic from the 70's, Escape From Colditz. It took so long to gather the little cards which gave your plastic men guns or fake passports that you began to wonder if they were ever going to get out, and then when they did, they'd land on a square where they'd get caught. The Orcs would die of boredom.

Or else I'd challenge them to a game of darts. With my useless throwing I'd knock out one hundred and eighty Orcs a time with one arrow.

THE Ka · 03-27-2005, 07:01 PM

Formally introduce myself and my animals, then proceed to teach them the Time Warp...

Afterwards, I think we would have a lovely victorian picnic in a cemetery, or I would conduct an art lesson...

I really don't know what we would do... Or I would do for that matter with 200,000 orcs at my door. Maybe I could invite Melkor or something over. Not Sauron though, I have a suspicion that he would steal them... While Melkor would give me tips on how to care for them. Then, we could sit, drink tea and talk philosophy and music. Besides, Melkor is cooler anyway...

~Ka

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-28-2005, 02:55 AM

Tell them, in as kindly a voice as I can wield, that they do not exist.

Tuor of Gondolin · 03-29-2005, 02:50 PM

Hmm.

What if 200,00 orcs, after reading a fantasy novel in which they are
negatively stereotyped as evil guys who get killed by the good guys,
become born again proselytizing American Christian fundamentalists
(say, hare krishnas or Mormons). They go back in time to 1950s Oxford
and try to convert to their cause an Oxford don scholar/writer. This
professor becomes so irritated with their constant knocking on his
door and driving past in cars with bad exhausts he decides to put them
in the fantasy novel he is writing as bad guys who get killed by the
good guys, a book which is eventually read by 200,000 orcs who,
after reading this fantasy novel.......

Ainaserkewen · 03-29-2005, 05:40 PM

I'd do what I do with most everyone who comes to my door.

Sign for the package and/or refuse to by the vacuum and/or tell them I'm not interested in converting and/or don't need a home security system and/or not by candy and/or give pop cans and if they don't go away, release my hound.

the guy who be short · 05-16-2005, 12:43 PM

Wander about, looking for female Orcs to determine their existance. At the same time, I would wonder how and army of 200,000 managed to fit on so small a front lawn.

the guy who be short · 05-19-2005, 03:54 PM

Hm... I've posted two or three times on the topic. But in all likelyhood, I would stick to my original plan and lie besieged. Bring orcs, I don't think they'd be organised enough to have provisions to wait out a siege. And any assault would obviously fail: I would have plenty of boiling water at the ready!
Yes... that just might work.

I'm afraid to say that the army has yet to invade my town, and I therefore have not had the chance to hunt for female orcs. Perhaps it's better for my sanity this way.

Now that I think about it, the 200,000 would probably swarm around the street rather than just in my front lawn... My mistake.

Holbytlass · 05-19-2005, 09:13 PM

All right, beseiged it is. You bring the water and I'll bring the food and a deck of cards. You do play, don't you? Anyone else care to join? All head to Guy who be short's place, it's the one with the small front lawn. Don't forget to bring something to share.

the guy who be short · 05-20-2005, 05:14 AM

Wonderful idea, Holbytlass

If the stores do run out, we can turn to cannibalism.

More details on the siege:
Board up the lower windows with planks from the garage so they cant be broken through.

Pour boiling water, the cheap substitute for oil, onto the orcs from the upper windows.

Throw antique lamps and other such parental belongings at the orcs. Perhaps set them on fire first.

Play loud rock music

Especially Blind Guardian.

Hm... I think I need more detail. What did the orcs bring? If they have siege weaponry I'm in trouble. I'm presuming they just have their little scimitars and swords?

Holbytlass · 05-20-2005, 06:53 AM

We will have to enlist Formendacil's help. He/She said they had a generic-orc costume, and very good at mixing it up with the enemy. They could go on a reconnisance mission.

Formendacil · 05-20-2005, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holbytlass

We will have to enlist Formendacil's help. He/She said they had a generic-orc costume, and very good at mixing it up with the enemy. They could go on a reconnisance mission.

Oh dear...

It appears that I have been found out...

In reality, all references to my bravery, cleverness, bomb shelter, and even the Ork costume, are figments of my (rather active) imagination.

Although I imagine that a generic ork costume, due to the rather scruffy nature of the generic ork, would be quite easy to manufacture. Lots of cloth, rusty armour, assortment of dirty cultlery, and a lot of dark facepaint (well-smeared) ought to do the trick.

I'm far from an expert on the subject, but I'm willing to help, if I can... Although my main experience with lawn-battles tends to deal with lawnmowers....

~Definitely male,

Formendacil~

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-26-2005, 10:27 AM

If I found 200,000 Orcs on my front door, I would ask them if they take sugar in their tea.

OR

If I found 200,000 Orcs on my front door, I would tell them to get off it.

malkatoj · 05-28-2005, 11:50 AM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would offer them tea and spike it with Vodka...or whatever you spike tea with. I'd wait for them to get drunk enough that they forgot about me and sneak off, waiting for their drunkenness, in conjunction with their belligerent nature, to cause them to kill themselves off.

The Perky Ent · 09-02-2005, 12:37 AM

...get out the good china...and walk away slowly...

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-02-2005, 12:44 AM

I would tell them to use the back door.

OR

I would ask which one was called Bernard and hope they started an argument over which one it was and kill each other.

Gurthang · 09-02-2005, 01:51 PM

Tell them that they must make a reservation for all parties over 10 members in size.

OR

Take a picture of myself with 200,000 orcs and post it on Crazy Captions.

OR

Ask if they were the famous breakdancing orcs.

OR

Think of a petition that I needed to have 200,000 signatures for. Hmmm, how about renaming the town in my name! Gurthangton!

Glirdan · 09-02-2005, 01:59 PM

1)Tell them " No I don't want any Orc girl cookie guides now go!"

2)Ask them if the met Boromir the Disco King

3)Pull a Bilbo and yell " The Eagles are coming! The Eagles are coming" and in the confusion and fear, slip out and get an army of Downer's to come and help me where we will all fight valiantly. The only problem will be Gil and his big ego. He'll try and be a hero and take on 10 orcs at a time. Luckily, he will have the phantom by his side and both their giant ego's will prevail.

Meneltarmacil · 09-02-2005, 02:15 PM

If they're as skilled in combat as most enemy soldiers in the movies are, I'd probably defeat them easily.

Lily Bombadil · 09-05-2005, 02:28 PM

Quote:

ID RUN AND SCREAM LIKE A LITTEL GIRL.

Well, Wayne, I'm glad you're honest.

In that situation, naturally, I would be terrified. Then I would try to find out if they were merely humans in costume. If they were the real deal, as it were, I would lead a campaign to get rid of all the cheerleaders in my school, the drill team, and the pansy school mascot (who might be the son of the Indian from the Village People, 'cause he sure bears resemblance). I'm sorry. I don't hate people with school spirit; just the ones at MY school. But mostly the mascot. He betrayed me once. Love you guys!

Just so you all know, I'd rally up the orcs and lead them into the gymnasium during Friday's pep rally. Hope it's football season! Cheers!

Mithennor · 10-13-2008, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neurion

Well, what would you do? How about it chaps?

I think I'd want to know who I ****ed off, and how I ended up in the bad end of my wildest dreams...I'd then start looking for the elves that should be in the area

Eönwë · 10-13-2008, 04:01 PM

Set myself on fire, and jump off (somehow covering the distance in seconds).

Annalaliath · 12-15-2008, 01:22 AM

I would have to try beating them to death with my wooden sword and then trying to push my grandparents out the back door and over the fence.... but they are real old so I would have to knock the fence down. We wouldn't get very far.

03-08-2005, 10:33 PM	#1
Neurion Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Standing amidst the slaughter I have wreaked upon the orcs Posts: 258	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... Well, what would you do? How about it chaps? __________________ ____________________________________ "And a cold voice rang forth from the blade. Yea, I will drink thy blood, that I may forget the blood of Beleg my master, and of Brandir slain unjustly. I will slay thee swiftly."

03-08-2005, 10:49 PM	#2
Lostgaeriel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto the Good Posts: 477	Q: What is 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the Anduin? A: A good start. Send all the Gondorian lawyers out to negotiate a peace treaty. (Relax! My sister is a lawyer - who do you think tells me all the lawyer jokes?) __________________ Elen síla lúmenn’ omentielvo, a star shines on the hour of our meeting.

03-09-2005, 02:56 AM	#6
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Orcs? 200 000 of them? Show them they could be redeemed. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

03-09-2005, 03:16 AM	#7
Celebuial Wight Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Cardiff during term time/Leicester in the holl's Posts: 129	200 000 Orcs...... I don't think I'd be able to do much as the sent of my flesh would probably send them wild, so they'd jump on me and tear me to pieces! Ok, if they didn't jump at me straight away I'd pull out The One Ring which permanently lives around my neck on its very own silver chain, and put it on. I would then be so powerful I could bend their will to leaving my front door! Not that I would then get much peace as I imagine I would now be incredibly evil and try and take over the world. This would be so much hard work I would most likely die of exhaustion! Ok, who am I kidding? I'd slam the door shut, run to the back of the house like I was being pursued by, well, 200 000 Orcs; throw open the back door and never come back to this part of Middle-Earth again! Of course I would probably die in The Wild.... Hmmmmmmmmm. scratches head I seem to always end up dying.... __________________ Ú cilith ‘war. Ú men ‘war. Boe min mebi. Boe min bango.

03-09-2005, 03:36 AM	#8
Rimbaud The Perilous Poet Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Heart of the matter Posts: 1,062	Start a business manufacturing orcish products. They'd be happy little consumers in no time, and I would become bloated and wealthy. It's the Gondorian dream. __________________ And all the rest is literature

03-09-2005, 07:17 AM	#9
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... Sigh resignedly and dig deep into my pockets as I paid for 200,000 cotton tea-towels, before signing 200,000 sponsored walk pledge sheets and saying 200,000 times "No, I don't want anything from the Avon book, thank you" before closing the door and collapsing into an exhausted heap. __________________ Gordon's alive!

03-09-2005, 06:13 PM	#10
lothlorien Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Stalking the fellowship Posts: 38	gnomes that's so funny I'd hate to visit your house imagine the instant carnage that would be your yard every time someone came to visit and your like "Mum the knomes just killed our neighbor again" .

03-09-2005, 10:44 PM	#13
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	If I found... 1) Well, first I'd hop quickly to the BarrowDowns to see what advice I could get in two-point-five seconds, and then I'd turn on my iTunes visual effects to hypnotize them, and while that was happening I'd sneak out the back door. 2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella really quickly. 3) Wake up. 4) Grab my BB gun and...fire off two shots before I die. 5) Get them involved in the Balrog Wing debate. After all, wouldn't some of them have seen/not seen wings? 6) Blast some Korn or Disturbed at them...woo, look at 'em run! 7) Start some "drums in the deep" of my own. 8) Tell them the Barrow-Wight thinks that they're off topic. ( ) 9) Tell them that the general concensus is that them being on MY doorstep is non-canonical. 10) Wonder if this will interfere with my visits to the BD's... __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 03-09-2005 at 10:49 PM. Reason: IMG tags...GOOD.

03-25-2005, 02:55 AM	#15
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	200000 orcs at the door, "Oh no, not again! What is it this time?" OR I'd offer them accommodation for the night, but no breakfast, they deserve no less for coming so late! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

03-25-2005, 01:48 PM	#17
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Challenge the leader and two of his best Orcs to a game of Monopoly (because it takes ages to finish) and hope to casually win them over with my lovely character. If that got a bit heated then I would amuse them with magic tricks. The Orcs would grow to like me and leave my home without hurting anyone. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

03-25-2005, 02:22 PM	#18
Falkor Guest Posts: n/a	Only 200,000? If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would... Smirk as they bowed in humble reverence before my dark, dimented glory. Then I'd politely say thank you as one of them got me a Pina Colada, while the rest give me neck massages, put soothing music on the CD player, and started up the jaccuzzi. sigh It's a hard life... evil smirk

03-27-2005, 07:01 PM	#20
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	Formally introduce myself and my animals, then proceed to teach them the Time Warp... Afterwards, I think we would have a lovely victorian picnic in a cemetery, or I would conduct an art lesson... I really don't know what we would do... Or I would do for that matter with 200,000 orcs at my door. Maybe I could invite Melkor or something over. Not Sauron though, I have a suspicion that he would steal them... While Melkor would give me tips on how to care for them. Then, we could sit, drink tea and talk philosophy and music. Besides, Melkor is cooler anyway... ~Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

03-28-2005, 02:55 AM	#21
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	The 200,000 Orcs dilemma. Tell them, in as kindly a voice as I can wield, that they do not exist. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

03-29-2005, 02:50 PM	#22
Tuor of Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles) Posts: 1,548	Hmm. What if 200,00 orcs, after reading a fantasy novel in which they are negatively stereotyped as evil guys who get killed by the good guys, become born again proselytizing American Christian fundamentalists (say, hare krishnas or Mormons). They go back in time to 1950s Oxford and try to convert to their cause an Oxford don scholar/writer. This professor becomes so irritated with their constant knocking on his door and driving past in cars with bad exhausts he decides to put them in the fantasy novel he is writing as bad guys who get killed by the good guys, a book which is eventually read by 200,000 orcs who, after reading this fantasy novel....... __________________ Aure Entuluva!

03-29-2005, 05:40 PM	#23
Ainaserkewen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A cosmic waiting room Posts: 651	I'd do what I do with most everyone who comes to my door. Sign for the package and/or refuse to by the vacuum and/or tell them I'm not interested in converting and/or don't need a home security system and/or not by candy and/or give pop cans and if they don't go away, release my hound. __________________ Solus... I'm eating chicken again. I ate chicken yesterday and the day before... will I be eating chicken again tomorrow? Why am I always eating chicken?

05-16-2005, 12:43 PM	#24
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Wander about, looking for female Orcs to determine their existance. At the same time, I would wonder how and army of 200,000 managed to fit on so small a front lawn.

05-19-2005, 03:54 PM	#25
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Hm... I've posted two or three times on the topic. But in all likelyhood, I would stick to my original plan and lie besieged. Bring orcs, I don't think they'd be organised enough to have provisions to wait out a siege. And any assault would obviously fail: I would have plenty of boiling water at the ready! Yes... that just might work. I'm afraid to say that the army has yet to invade my town, and I therefore have not had the chance to hunt for female orcs. Perhaps it's better for my sanity this way. Now that I think about it, the 200,000 would probably swarm around the street rather than just in my front lawn... My mistake. Last edited by the guy who be short; 05-19-2005 at 03:58 PM. Reason: Extension of response

05-19-2005, 09:13 PM	#26
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	All right, beseiged it is. You bring the water and I'll bring the food and a deck of cards. You do play, don't you? Anyone else care to join? All head to Guy who be short's place, it's the one with the small front lawn. Don't forget to bring something to share. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

05-20-2005, 05:14 AM	#27
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Wonderful idea, Holbytlass If the stores do run out, we can turn to cannibalism. More details on the siege: Board up the lower windows with planks from the garage so they cant be broken through. Pour boiling water, the cheap substitute for oil, onto the orcs from the upper windows. Throw antique lamps and other such parental belongings at the orcs. Perhaps set them on fire first. Play loud rock music Especially Blind Guardian. Hm... I think I need more detail. What did the orcs bring? If they have siege weaponry I'm in trouble. I'm presuming they just have their little scimitars and swords?

05-20-2005, 06:53 AM	#28
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	We will have to enlist Formendacil's help. He/She said they had a generic-orc costume, and very good at mixing it up with the enemy. They could go on a reconnisance mission. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

05-26-2005, 10:27 AM	#30
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	If I found 200,000 Orcs on my front door, I would ask them if they take sugar in their tea. OR If I found 200,000 Orcs on my front door, I would tell them to get off it. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

05-28-2005, 11:50 AM	#31
malkatoj Wight Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: A hovel in Florin Posts: 173	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would offer them tea and spike it with Vodka...or whatever you spike tea with. I'd wait for them to get drunk enough that they forgot about me and sneak off, waiting for their drunkenness, in conjunction with their belligerent nature, to cause them to kill themselves off.

09-02-2005, 12:37 AM	#32
The Perky Ent Maniacal Mage Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side! Posts: 3,297	...get out the good china...and walk away slowly... __________________ 'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'

09-02-2005, 12:44 AM	#33
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	If I found 200,000 Orcs on my front door I would tell them to use the back door. OR I would ask which one was called Bernard and hope they started an argument over which one it was and kill each other. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-02-2005, 01:51 PM	#34
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... Tell them that they must make a reservation for all parties over 10 members in size. OR Take a picture of myself with 200,000 orcs and post it on Crazy Captions. OR Ask if they were the famous breakdancing orcs. OR Think of a petition that I needed to have 200,000 signatures for. Hmmm, how about renaming the town in my name! Gurthangton! __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

09-02-2005, 01:59 PM	#35
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	1)Tell them " No I don't want any Orc girl cookie guides now go!" 2)Ask them if the met Boromir the Disco King 3)Pull a Bilbo and yell " The Eagles are coming! The Eagles are coming" and in the confusion and fear, slip out and get an army of Downer's to come and help me where we will all fight valiantly. The only problem will be Gil and his big ego. He'll try and be a hero and take on 10 orcs at a time. Luckily, he will have the phantom by his side and both their giant ego's will prevail. __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

09-02-2005, 02:15 PM	#36
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	If they're as skilled in combat as most enemy soldiers in the movies are, I'd probably defeat them easily. __________________ I ♣ baby seals.

10-13-2008, 04:01 PM	#39
Eönwë Flame Imperishable Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Right here Posts: 3,928	Set myself on fire, and jump off (somehow covering the distance in seconds). __________________ Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place

12-15-2008, 01:22 AM	#40
Annalaliath Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 380	I would have to try beating them to death with my wooden sword and then trying to push my grandparents out the back door and over the fence.... but they are real old so I would have to knock the fence down. We wouldn't get very far. __________________ Bloody Stumps!!!