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09-01-2017, 02:37 PM | #1 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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Of Men
This is the first draft of the chapter Of Men
Our basis text is that of Later Quenta Silamrillion given in HoME 11; page 173-175, based on the complete text given in HoME 5; pages 245-248. I have not tracked the changes from QS to LQ, but have taken them up silently into the text. Wherever the text is different from that this is marked by an editing mark. The markings are: OM-xx for any and all changes. There were not too many, so to give multiple kinds of markers seemed redundant. Some conventions of my writing: Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will be mentioned) Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks {example} = text that should be deleted [example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes <source example> = additions with source information Quote:
OM-02: as in other chapters, I change magic to enchantments, because the word magic has evil connotations for Tolkien. OM-03: the LT word fairies almost always refers to the Elves. OM-04: I removed the reference about the Haven of the Sun, as its validity in later myth is questionable. OM-05: I included this as a footnote, since I could not figure out how to work it into the text, but I think it is necessary to include the information, as Tu needs to exit the story somehow. OM-06: simply harmonizing the transition from LT to QS OM-07: Because of the Lost Tales story, the Avari cannot say to have not known Hildorien. However, CT notes the impossibility of this assertion based on the geographic placing of Hildorien in the earlier part of the passage, so I figured it was not a contradiction or too risky of me to drop it. OM-08: This insert from the Grey Annals describes the exodus of Melkor to the East to corrupt men as proof, and was not contradicted later on, so this seems the best place to include it. OM-09: I changed "but" to "and" because with the intrusion of the Melkor story into the narrative, the relation between the former end of the last paragraph (when every leaf is green) to the beginning of this one (But the day oft..) is lost. The And is a smoother transition. OM-10: Simply reconciling with the later version of elvish rebirth myth. OM-11: adding in Elros. The Lost Tales stuff is the most questionable part of the chapter, but I figured I'd throw it in, and let everyone decide what to do with it. Last edited by ArcusCalion; 09-03-2017 at 02:26 AM. |
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09-03-2017, 06:32 AM | #2 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,720
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Here also just a few general remarks:
Again Of Men and Dwarves should not be considered as unuseable, because part of it is considered for the Second Age. The overall idea behind the arangement is more or less chronological. Therefore what belongs here of that Essay should be included here. The LT chapter about Murmenalda is beautyfull, but if it can be used? I am very much in doubt about that. Tû has for me a very dark implication. His fading before the sun, seems to imply some strong connection to Melkor and his dominion in Utumno, where we are told that the creatures that were brought into being could later on not stand the light of the sun (e.g. Orcs and Trolls). For me Tû is therefore one of Melkors agents that gave him an early warning of the awakening of Men, and allowed the story of Adanel to happen. Anyhow we have to be extremly caerful about the Tale of Adanel. Beacuse that is a much later source and even the slightes contradiction must be avoided. Respectfully Findegil |
09-04-2017, 05:16 PM | #3 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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The Dwarves and Men essay would not add anything to this essay, only to the Coming of Men into the West. So in this thread I suppose that argument need not affect it.
In regards to the Mermenalda and Tu etc. I think that even with this story, the Tale of Adanel is not contradicted. Perhaps we may remove the part about the first Men being unabble to speak, since they may have heard the voice of Eru in their hearts. |
09-07-2017, 03:26 PM | #4 | ||||
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,720
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Beside some details that I will list later, I see three mayor elements in the additions from LT that we have to discuss:
1. Tû: What kind of being is he? LT says he is a ‘fay’, but that does not fit in the later work. LT names him ‘Tû the wizard’. That might be useable. When he hear about Nuin finding Murmenalda, he is reported to in ‘fear of Manwë, nay even of Ilúvatar the Lord of All’. Such knowledge in my opinion make him one of the Ainur. But being ‘more skilled in magic than any that have dwelt ever yet beyond the land of Valinor’? This must have included even in its old circumference in LT Melko and all his servants (the Balrogs ...). Sounds very strange to me. But Tolkien is especially in LT very free with his use of such superlatives. So we might change that one as well as the use of ‘fay’ earlier. So in the end if we include him we have to unspecific about what he is. As said, before Tû’s connotation is for me that of a bad boy. Tolkien might not have been planed him as a servant of Melko, but to ‘draw the Elves to him’ to ‘become a mighty king among them’ and ‘send them ... on his business’ does not sound good for me. Teaching the Elves ‘many deep things’ could be seen neutral, but that the doors of Tû’s abode ‘have long been sealed and none know now the entry’ makes a farther sinister impression. Also the fact that ‘Tû faded before the sun and hid in his bottomless caverns’ doesn’t make for a more comfortable feeling about that character. Overall I don’t see any forcing reason not to include Tû, but he is a difficult character, so I think we would need some good reason to include him. 2. Murmenalda: As we read in the The legend of the Awaking of the Quendi about the unbegotten elves that: ‘While their first bodies were being made from the 'flesh of Arda' the Quendi slept 'in the womb of the Earth', beneath the green sward, and awoke when they were full-grown.’ That sounds very much like to Murmenalda and the sleepers in that valley. So I would say yes Murmenalda and it description could be taken. 3. Nuin as an {Ilkorin}[Avari] to find the sleepers in Murmenalda: That one of the Elves coming upon these unbegotten Men while they sleep seems possible, but that Elves were companions of Men from the first awakening (or even woke a pair before their time)? How could that fit to the things that Andreth told Finrod [Athrabeth: Quote:
So what is left of the story in LT? Nuin coming to the Mumenalda and telling Tû about the sleepers. But Tû did know already about them, as he shied back from sending his people to these parts of Endor. Is this worth lifting into this chapter? I am in doubt. A bit more details: OM-01: I think the first sentence is not useable. Can we say that the Quendi ‘had the gift of speech direct from Ilúvatar’? When we read in the Story of their awakening that:[quote]Then they were so enamoured of their beauty that their desire for speech was immediately quickened and they began to 'think of words' to speak and sing in. ... Now after a time, when they had dwelt together a little, and had devised many words, ...[/b]For me that is a clear contradiction. The same here: ‘... yet is none so little changed as the tongue of the Dark Elves of {Palisor}[Endor].’ If we compare to Shiboleth: Quote:
Stature of sleepers: Quote:
Not important but as an aside note: ‘..., and he said to Nuin’ is the end of the addition nominated as from LT. You have missed a ‘>’ sign at this point. And the nomination could be more specific, so I did find the source easy, that might not be true for everybody. I think LT, Gilfano’s Tale is appropriate and the Outlines should also get an LT before, because there are other outlines all over HoME ‘At last, overcome by curiosity, he awakened two … Ermon and Elmir alone of’: As explained above at least this must go, since it is contradicted by the Athrabeth. That Men saw the first sun rise in the West might be used, but it is told only in slightly different words in the basic text §82. OM-05: This is not a footnote in Outline D, so it should not be so in our editing. Maybe it must be put in a bit later, if it is to be text and not footnote. But what so ever ‘Men grew in stature’ should not be used. See above. OM-06: I don’t think this change is not needed if Nuin waking Ermon and Elmir is gone. OM-07: I am not happy with this change. What about: Quote:
OM-09: Agreed. OM-10: Agreed. Respectfully Findegil |
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09-08-2017, 04:41 PM | #5 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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To your three points:
1. I see the difficulty, and support the removal of the "most skilled in magic" portion, but I do not see the sinister connotation. Melian and Thingol drew elves to them and became mighty king and queen among them, even though she is a Maia, but it is not sinister remotely. To me, the fading before the sun bit simply suggests he is a Maia of Lorien who likes mists and twilight, not that he is evil. I feel that it would be good to include them, if only for the sake of fleshing out this part of the legendarium, since it is only very broadly sketched out. The Murmenalda description and the Cuivienen and Avari are all great images, and I think it would be a shame to lose them. 2. I am glad. 3. I had not noticed this, but you are of course right. I have edited the LT insertion accordingly. OM-01: I see you are right. I will remove it. I will include an edited form of the whole insertion below. OM-02: The word fairies is used to describe the elves as well, cf. Elwing the fairy. The sense that I got was that the Hisildi were the Avari of his realm. The stature of the sleepers must be changed, agreed. I have fixed this. I have removed this section. OM-05: I have inserted it at the end of the following paragraph. See below. OM-06: agreed. OM-07: Agreed OM-08: I have fixed these, thanks for catching them. Here is the edited version of the LT insert and the following paragraph. Quote:
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09-09-2017, 04:32 PM | #6 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,720
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Sorry but reading your new editing, I found what kicks out Nuin for good: 'in regions which neither the Eldar nor the Avari have known'. Since this from the later source it dinies that any Avari had found Murmenalda. So if we want to keep the description, we must make Nuin some thing else. I would simply make him one of Tû's people.
Respectfully Findegil |
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