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09-01-2017, 02:17 PM | #1 | |||
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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Of the Coming of Men Into the West
This is the first draft of the chapter Of the Naugrim and the Edain
Our basis text is that of Later Quenta Silamrillion given in HoME 11; page 201-243. Wherever the text is different from that this is marked by an editing mark. The markings are: NE-CD-xx for the section Concerning Dwarves. NE-CM-xx for the section Of the Coming of Men into the West and the Meeting of the Edain and the Eldar NE-KE-xx for the section Of the Kindreds and Houses of the Edain Some conventions of my writing: Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will be mentioned) Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks {example} = text that should be deleted [example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes <source example> = additions with source information OF THE NAUGRIM AND THE EDAIN Quote:
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NE-CD-02: These paragraphs were used in Chapter 3. NE-CD-03: These were also used in Ch. 3 NE-CD-04: I hesitate to use dates, bc at this point I do not know which date is correct. If these dates are fine, they may be retained. NE-CD-05: This insert from the Annals contains much information about the relations of the Dwarves and the Noldor that we get nowhere else. NE-CM-01: Christopher Tolkien says that according to a "late note" this information was wrong, and he removed it in the Sil77, as I think should we. NE-KE-01: Same as the previous one. This Chapter is very straightforward, and I did not include additions from the Of Dwarves and Men essay in HoME 12 because I believe that is planned to be included in full in VOLUME II. An addition made by Christopher Tolkien in this chapter concerns Melkor's corruption of Men, and is sourced from the Grey Annals, but I have inserted it into the chapter Of Men, as it seemed to fit the subject matter there better. Last edited by ArcusCalion; 09-01-2017 at 02:24 PM. |
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09-03-2017, 06:08 AM | #2 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,720
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A few remarks in passing. I have not analysed the changes you made in detail. That must wait a bit.
1. I think by our editing the sub chapter Concerning the Dwarves is very thin and out of sequence in this position. I suppose we should shift it. probably to the end of cahpter 18 Of Beleriand and it's Realms, but I did not check where the events mention before the first meeting of Noldor and Dwarves are recorded. Nontheless the work should not be lost, Since we should use these sub-chapter somewhere. 2. What I planned to use in the second age stuff of Of Dwarves and Men from HoME 12 is only the Relations of the Longbeard Dwarves and Men (without the first paragraph, that I planed to use in chapter 3 Concerning Naugrim, Ents and Eagles, but then I have forgotten about that while editing). Other parts of the essay might be used here and in the chapter 15 Of Men. I remember that there were parts describing the journey of the Edain, which I suppose should be included here. As well there are the chapters about the Drûg that I think should be included here. Respectfully Findegil |
09-04-2017, 04:21 PM | #3 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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1. If you think this arrangement works better, then fine. However, as Tolkien out this in this chapter, I see no real need to move it out of sequence. But if you think it feels too jarring it cancertainly be appended to the previous chapter.
2. Personally, I hesitate to chop up a finished work that is useable as it is with only minor editing. Thus, I would include the Statute of Finwe and Miriel as a separate work instead of adding it into Of Finwe and Miriel. In this case I would also like to keep part 2 of Of Dwarves and Men complete as it stands already, as I see no reason not to include it in full later.v |
09-04-2017, 05:10 PM | #4 | ||
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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If we are to add in the Dwarves and Men material (which I would argue we should not) I have composed a draft of how it might be done.
The first paragraph of Of the Kindreds and Houses of the Edain must be greatly altered, due to the fact that I missed the change in order of the arrival of the tribes in Beleriand, and also the note in Ros about their sojurn by the sea of Rhun. Quote:
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Last edited by ArcusCalion; 09-04-2017 at 05:18 PM. |
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09-13-2017, 02:40 PM | #5 | |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,720
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Back to my own comment 1: I retake it. As it stands now it is fine to have the meeting of the people of Caranthir with the dwarves recorded here.
NE-CD-01: Agreed. {Thargelion}[Radhrost]: I think Radhrost is as well no longer valid. I would rather replace Thargelion by Talath Rhúnen as in our general changes. NE-CD-02 and NE-CD-03: Agreed. NE-CD-04: These dates are okay. And I think we should keep them. We just have to change Glomund to Glaurung. NE-CD-05: Agreed. {Maidors}[Maedhros]: Up to now the discussion was between Maedros or Maedron and the decision was made to take the more conservative Maedros. So please remove the ‘h’. NE-CM-01: Agreed. NE-KE-01: Agreed. NE-KE-00.2: Agreed and this change is necessary either way, taking material form Of Dwarves and Men or not. NE-KE-00.5: The general discussion of material from Of Dwarves and Men we should keep in one place, and that is for me the thread about Concerning Naugrim, Ents and Eagles. If we agree there to take these material up, I agree to this use. NE-KE-01.2: Agreed. NE-KE-00.3: Agreed. But see NE-KE-00.5. NE-KE-03: Agreed. But see NE-KE-00.5. And I would include all the stuff about the Drûg, making your last section look like this: Quote:
NE-KE-04: This is the start of the Drúedain stuff. It might be used to head the general discussion if this material should be placed here. I did not mark the removal of editorial footnotes with editing markers. I hope that is okay. NE-KE-05: Here we have a special case. The material about the selfnaming should be included, but it can be discussed if a footnote is the right wax, when this arrangement was clearly editorial. NE-KE-06: Thedeleted stuff should be used in the Second Age story. NE-KE-07 and NE-KE-08: This alone would, in my opinion, be worth the inclusion of the Drûg in this chapter. NE-KE-09: JRR Tolkien marked these for deletion. But I hesitate about it. Even so I see Tolkiens reason, this would fit the Drûg very well and provides a look into the attitude to fungus of the other Edain and Eldar. NE-KE-10: Okay this is an editorial footnote, but it contains some Authorial statement. Therefore I put a marker on it. Nonetheless I think it must go. NE-KE-11: This § seems not useable as it is too much showing the essay stile. NE-KE-12: I put that marker to discuss the Hobbit stuff that follows in OF Dwarves and Men. For me that would belong into the Third Age narrative. But it can be discussed if (farther) parts of it should be included here. Respectfully Findegil |
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09-15-2017, 09:52 AM | #6 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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I will make a more detailed reply to your comments as soon as I am able, but at the moment I would like to say that I think now that as long as no pieces of the essay are "lost" but are simply used in different parts of the work, then I suppose it does make sense to chop it up. There was a footnote you deleted about Merry and Elfhelm, and these are the kinds of deletions that I was worried about when you wanted to chop up the essay, so if that is included here again, or reused somewhere else (although I do not see how or where) then I will be ok with the addition of these sections, as well as the sections in the Dwarves chapter.
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