Hand me my sword and my teeth, would you, Frodo?

[VanimaEdhel]

What if the Fellowship was placed in a nursing home around the later lives of the mortal members? What would it be like?

Merry and Pippin would be hitting on all their nurses and getting into trouble everywhere. They'd be playing practical jokes, injuring all the older members.

Sam, even if he became disabled, would be trying to do everything for Frodo, who would still be having issues with his old injuries and his lack of ring.

I think that Frodo would also be one of those that would tell anyone within a mile radius his entire story.

Gandalf would keep insisting, "I'm not old! I took this form! Let me go! I still have work!" That would, of course, be true, but everyone would just think he was senile or something. He could blast his way out if he wanted, but that would ruin the thread, you see. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Boromir, being dead, wouldn't be there, but, saying he lived, he would probably always still be trying to compete with Aragorn for the best pudding and the remote and the like.

Aragorn would be respected and still listened to, and everyone would say he was one of the smartest of the company (since they think that Gandalf is senile, although he is not).

Legolas would still be attractive and he would get all the female nurses that Merry and Pippin were busy chasing. He'd also still be strong, as he doesn't really age and all that. Basically, he wouldn't belong in the home at all. They'd probably let him go. Either that or they'd get into the age-old argument about what hair color he "should" be, saying, "No, no! That's all wrong! You have dark/light hair!"

Gimli would be an old grouch that everyone stayed away from. People would whisper about him in the halls with all sorts of wild rumors about his life, as he would never tell anyone his life story.

Well, I did the Fellowship. Do you agree? What do you think the other characters would be like?

[Lindril Arvilya]

Eowyn would be constantly trying to get out. She'd be convinced (and shouting) that the staff were discriminating against her and only keeping her in there because she's a girl.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Denethor would play with matches.... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Lutfiska]

Sauron would be sitting in a dark corner breeding bugs [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Saruman would keep going "I am Saruman of man colors" and the people there would decide he had seen Joseph and the Techni Color Dreamcoat too many times for his own good. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

[Meela]

Eomer would be one of those types who don't shut up about the 'old guard'. He'll strike up a conversation beginning "In my day..." and rant on and on about his old galloping days and his horse, and how he used to ride for miles, a "gallant sight upon his noble steed".

[VanimaEdhel]

Faramir would constantly be breaking up fights between Eowyn and some other aging female Human. Unless, of course, she was fighting with Arwen when Arwen came to visit Aragorn. He would also always be gazing after her fondly, saying, "I remember when she was young. She was a wild thing. And I tamed her. I tamed the beast. Now look at her! She's still beautiful!"

Sauron would be trying to recruit all the members, in the guise of a wise-looking man. He'd think that it was a new super-army he could create.

Luthien and Arwen would work as nurses, caring for Aragorn and Beren (this is of course overcoming extreme time differences). They would act like sisters, although Luthien was Arwen's great-great grandmother. They'd always be gossiping about the rumors around the halls.

Gollum would just walk around saying "gollum" and stealing anything shiny to play with. And he'd get in trouble for being messy with his food. He, too, would appear to be fairly senile...and schizophrenic, but that's a different story (I know I spelled that right because I used Spell-Check...go me).

Hmmm...what else?

[Diamond18]

Sauron would, of course, be either blind in one eye (wait...) or wear a really thick, black plastic rimmed bifocal over his flaming pie.

Uh...I should go to bed. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Tinuviel the Nightingale]

Elrond would be probably the one running the nursing home, in the same manner of Imlladris/Rivendell. He'd probably hold 'councils' just to re-live the old memories.

[Morai]

Eowyn would be constantly berating the nurses, saying: "I told you, I survived the Witchking's blade! I don't need no darn pills." And because of her poor eyesight, she'd always attack anyone wearing black.

Gandalf and the hobbits would always get in trouble for (you guessed it) smoking in a non-smoking establishment.

For some odd reason, I see Frodo and Sam playing checkers all the time. "Look Frodo! I one again!"
"I know Sam, I know, can we please play something else, my wounds are starting to hurt."

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

"I know Sam, I know, can we please play something else, my wounds are starting to hurt."

*giggles mindlessly*

Saruman would be constantly stealing the Jell-O servings and puttings bugs inside them, then proceeding to "hatch" them and breed an army of Insect-hai to take over the nursing home.

[Lyra Greenleaf]

Theoden would beg Gandalf to take the influence of Grima away, and wouldn't believe that he was really old this time! except, of course, that Theoden **** in lotr (I won't write it in case you haven't read the books)

[Lindril Arvilya]

Luthien and Arwen would work as nurses, caring for Aragorn and Beren (this is of course overcoming extreme time differences). They would act like sisters, although Luthien was Arwen's great-great grandmother. They'd always be gossiping about the rumors around the halls.

They'd be the extremely attractive "cartoon-like" nurses that the old guys always try to pick up.

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

If Boromir had lived to old age, he'd probably be the one that goes wheeling down the halls trying to find a way back to his kingdom when the nurses aren't watching. Or maybe I'm confusing him with Éomer and his "wheelchair racing" antics....

... blah, pardon me for my unfunnyness; I just got through watching Anna Karenina and thoroughly depressing myself. *sigh*

[ March 30, 2003: Message edited by: Rynoah, the Overly-Happy ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

Yeah, if Boromir was there, he'd keep challenging Aragorn to wheelchair races, and would never believe it when he lost every time. He'd keep asserting he'd win, and no "mere ranger" could ever beat him, not even in the good old days... *he falls asleep and starts drooling*

[VanimaEdhel]

Faramir would always have to get to Boromir before Boromir lunged out of his wheelchair at Aragorn.

Aragorn was probably the coolest elderly gentleman in the world...in the story, that is (as he lived into the Fourth Age). He was probably always polite, but had this aura of power. I wish I knew him (and that he was real, but that's a given)...

[Arwen_Evenstar]

Frodo to young hobbits:
You youngins have it lucky, when i was a lad we used to have to walk leagues upon leagues barefoot through snow and mud!

For the Monty Python fans(not entirely accurate):
Our dad used to come home, kill us and dance on our graves! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Sapphire_Flame]

Saruman would be constantly stealing the Jell-O servings and puttings bugs inside them, then proceeding to "hatch" them and breed an army of Insect-hai to take over the nursing home.

Heeheehee... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Grima would still be chasing Eowyn around everywhere (and Faramir would be trying to kick his butt for messing with his wife). Eowyn would be screaming, "Your words are poison!" over and over again until the nurses dragged her off for her medication *coughsedativescough*. Then Grima would wander off like nothing happened, brushing dandruff off his shoulders as he went.

And I could just picture Aragorn getting in a fight with a decrepit old orc, trying to behead it with his cane. "C'mon, I can take ya..."

[ April 01, 2003: Message edited by: Sapphire_Flame ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

brushing dandruff off his shoulders as he went

From what hair? If he's that old, I mean.

[Sapphire_Flame]

His scalp sheds...

[Sapphire_Flame]

Merry and Pippin would light firecrackers under everyone's wheelchairs (they kifed the firecrackers from Gandalf, BTW).

Gimli would be contantly trying to find the three hairs that Galadriel had given him, and as a result would have a massive collection of cat hair and dryer lint.

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Gimli the Pack Rat. *snickers*

Hama would be continually trying to take Gandalf's staff from him, saying, "No, no, no. I got in trouble last time you took it inside, so you gotta give it to me this time."

[VanimaEdhel]

Haha...I think that Eowyn would always have complaints from the other women filed against her, saying that she was too cold, and made them cry during Bingo and Bridge for whatever reason. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Faybevin Bombadil]

Bilbo would sit in his room all day drawing great Rings on everything he can find, insisting that a little girl told him to. He forbid the nurses to put a TV in his room also, and screamed everytime the phone rang...(That's if they had phones and televisions. Ever seen The Ring?) He would insist to anyone who knocked on his door that he didn't want any visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations.

Love,
Faybevin

[VanimaEdhel]

(Yes, I did see The Ring)

Bilbo would also probably hit on all the young Elf nursemaidens...along with Merry and Pippin, I would imagine.

What do you think Glorfindel would be doing? He would probably keep talking about how he's always passed over, and no one pays attention to him. All the talking would be to himself of course. I think he would have gone mad, insisting that he didn't think he existed, and that, all his life, no one really acted as if he existed. He'd be in solitary confinement, in a straight-jacket, most likely, as well...poor Glorfindel.

[Manardariel]

Lobelia has miraculously turned into on of those reeeally sweet old ladies everyone makes a fuss about. Would pat all the dudes hands and say "you know, you remind me of my Lotho..." and everyone would think she´s always been like that.

Boromir (not dead) would tell all these fibs about him saving Merry and Pippin, and HE destryoed the ring, and of course HE slew (is that a word??) the witch-king. Would become the most unpopular person in the home.

Gimli would sit in a corner drooling over Galadriel´s hair and telling the story how he go it 24/7.

[Airehiriel]

Gandalf (if he could ever become senile) would stand in front of doors saying "Mellon" over and over, never opening them for himself. When someone finally opens it, he thinks he has triumphed.

Biblo would search around for his dentures, and regale the staff with stories that never really happened, but how he managed to always save the day.

Frodo would stare at his missing finger all day, while mean residents teased him about being Nine Fingered Frodo. They'd call him NFFffffffffff.

Sam would go around evesdropping under all the windows just waiting for another plot.

Pippin would always complain that he hasn't eaten yet today. He'd ask if they knew about elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, supper. And always be frantic at the thought that they were trying to starve him. He'd probably say, "Why, I had better going through the mines of Moria!"

[Aduyuldaiel-MirkwoodPrincess]

I agree. merry and pip would be the old guys who were hitting on all the nurses. that would be so funny to see

[VanimaEdhel]

Lotho would be a groucy, old, senile guy that kept asking Lobelia who she was, and ordering her around like a servant, saying, maybe, "Hand me my sword and teeth, woman!" (see how it all connects to the thread name? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] ) Being that she was now sweet, she'd keep getting stuff for him.

[Ithaeliel]

Oh, my goodness... I am rolling on the floor. This reminds me so much of something my friend and I do in everyday life: whenever we see it fit, we imitate bicentennial, senile, fragile and cranky old men. It's disturbing how realistic it sounds too. So, let's see, Liz and me as Frodo and Sam...

Frodo: Heeey, Shhhamwishe, y'old coot!
Sam: What?
F: Whaddya mean, what?
S: What?!
F: Ohhh, y'old, deaf coot!
S: Who you callin' an old, deaf coot, y'old, deaf coot?!
F: I'mshhh callin' you a... d'ohhhh, never mind!
S: Whaddya talkin' about, Mishter... uh... oh, fiddleshticksh! I fergot your darned name!
F: Confound youuu, Shamwishe Gamgee, my name'sh... er... my name... oh, darnit! I fergot it too!
S: What?
F: What?!
S: What?!!!
F: What?!!!!
S: Yer name'shhh Frodo Bagginsh!
F: Ohhh, that'sh right! Hehhh, gimme five, Sham.
(Frodo and Sam, with shaking, bony hands, try to give each other a high five. They miss, miss again, miss yet again, and then manage to hold their arms steady enough to clap hands. There is a loud snap)
F/S: Ohhhh!!!!!!!!!
F: Y'broke my fingersh! Shecond time today!
S: Well you broke my wrisht for the third time in the lasht fifteen minutesh, y'old coot!

And so on and so forth... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[steve]

I got a picture in my head of Gandalf sitting in a rocking chair contiantly telling stories that go nowhere then falling asleep for a min and waking up and continueing in the middle of a difrent story

and Boromir sitting in his room with his rhinestone jacket on and broken disco ball hanging from his celeing contiantly mummbling do the wave for me, the disco king

[VanimaEdhel]

I can really imagine Gandalf doing that...

And I can imagine Frodo sitting to listen, and dozing off waiting for Gandalf to wake up, then Gandalf would jerk awake, knocking into Frodo, waking him up, and they'd go on with the very different story, neither really knowing the story was different.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Can you imagine Bombadil?

Tom Bombadil: "I'm Mashter, I tellsh ye... Mashter... Ho Tom Bombadillo... My liliesh!!!... Old Man Willow... Goldberry... They exisht, I tellsh ye... they exisht!"

The shrink: "I'm sure they do. And how does that make you feel?"

TB: "I washe the firsht and I'll be the lasht. Now let me get back to my shinging! Ho Tom Bombadil... how did it go, shonny?"

TS: "Mr. Bombadil-"

TB: "That'sh Mashter Bombadil to you!"