Middle-Earth Entertainment

[Gothmog]

One thing strikes me as quite odd. Why do we now so little about the show business of ME? I mean, singing about cows flying over the moon can't all ME has to offer.

Therefor I've made some scientific research. Apart from the sources found in the books, I've actually manged to get my hands on a few exemplars of the old "ME weekly Biz", magazines found in the excavations in Asia (for more info click here <---)

So what did I find you wonder. Well, to start with I found a very interesting article about a rock band of very mysterious people from Caradhras called the Falling Stones. Apparently they used the Mouth of Sauron as a logo. One of the front figures was a man called Slick Dagger.

Also, Aragorn and Arwen decided to make some music too, already being celebrities and all. They formed a group together with Bilbo and, believe it or not, the not-so-dead-as-we-thought Boromir. Even if Aragorn and Arwen was the main singers, they all had their part of the groups name, formed by the first letter in everybody's name. Among their greatest hits we find Mamma Ria (a song honouring Arwen's mother- Ria was her nick for Celebrian) and Ring Ring (speaks for itself).

There was some info about a much loved tv show called Fiends too. Mostly circling around five more or less insane evil spirits doing nothing special. Sounds quite booring but it seems as if it was highly appreciated.

BTW, did you know Gollum started a career as rapper? His lyrics were made of the story of his life. From a distasteful creature living in a cave to his new life as rich and famous. He was so good that he soon got the nickname Eminent...

Have anyone else any information about this, previously unknown side of Middle Earth? Come on, share it with us! I know there's much more gifted persons than me out there who might have found something in their researches.

(I know this is just plain stupid and maybe not very funny, but stupid is part of the description for a lot of the Mirth section and I became really curious of the "biz" of ME after a few wishes in the "
Be careful what you wish for... " thread )

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I think I can explain, at least partly, the reasons for the shameful lack of information we have had handed down to us. You see, though Frodo was evidently a lively young laddy, enjoying ale and dancing and entertainment, the older Frodo, the one who wrote most of the Red Book, was a unique figure: downtrodden, grim, almost ghostly. He cared not for the popular entertainment of Middle-earth.

Though some tales endure. I hear that Battle Metal was very popular in Middle-earth.

[Gothmog]

Oh...But I really wanted to know about the show biz...

Come on everybody, you must know something!

And Eomer: I see what you mean. I can visualize a young Frodo starting a punk band together with Pippin and Merry, singing about the boring life of Shire... How about a young Frodo with pink hair?

[Oroaranion]

This is a good point, why was there a distinct lack of entertainment in Middle Earth? The lives of people must have been dead boring.
Here are some ideas:
- Gandalf as a touring/TV magician, pulling rabbits out of hats, instead of trying to destroy the dark forces of ME. He could also use one of the hobbits a ventriloquist's dummy.
- They could have changed Minas Morgul into the Hollywood of ME.
- A suggestion from "the guty who be short", who is sitting next to me at this very moment, how about Bansai Pippin. Put Pippin in a glass jar and watch him grow to its size.
Anyway, justa few ideas off the top of my head, may have more later after a good think.

[Beanamir of Gondor]

I distinctly remember hearing of a riveting television special that ran for a great length of time in ME, called Entmoot. Two tribes of Ents would be taken from Fangorn Forest, and placed in different parts of ME, to get episodes of the show such as Entmoot Minas Morgul, Entmoot Caradhras, and even one grueling one called Entmoot under the Dimholt.
The point of the show, of course, was for the Ents to survive in these difficult places, without being supplied with... well, with whatever Ents survive on. There were also tasks they had to complete, some physical, some gross: one I recall was the eating of meat prepared by orcs. Each week the Ents would gather in their Entmoot and vote which Ent was going back to Fangorn. The last remaining Ent would win the very special prize: an Entwife.
The only problem was that around the third or fourth season there was a scandal from some of the Ents who had won. They had discovered that their Entwives were not really Entwives, but were simply Cave-Trolls in very clever costumes devised by Radagast the Brown. Radagast (the producer) shut down the show for good.
Reruns of the show, apparently, soon gave way to another one called That Second-Age Show, which featured Boromir doing a lot of disco.

(P.S. I sure hope this thread keeps alive. It's going to be hysterical.)