A Downer Dinner Party

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

I love throwing dinner parties, so I was an avid player of that old literature graduate student game wherein people sit around planning whom we would invite to their imaginary dinner (Oscar Wilde, Jane Austen, William Shakespeare, Professor Tolkien – of course – and Wilson Harris were always at the top of my list).

What I propose for this thread is that we do a Barrow Downs version of this game. To keep things interesting, and under control, however, there are a few rules:

1) Your dinner party must be between 6 to 10 people (yourself included).

2) You must have equal parts Barrow Downers and Characters from Middle-earth. (Please note that you are not going to be inviting your ‘favourite’ Downers, just those whom you think will best complement the table.)

3) You must provide a seating arrangement.

Other things that would be appreciated, but aren’t required, is that you have equal numbers of male and female at the table, and that they be seated in the classic “boy-girl” arrangement. Extra bonus points for anyone who provides a menu for the evening. To get things rolling, my guests would be, starting at the head of the table and going clockwise around the table:

1) Me: because, hey, it’s my party!

2) Galadriel: I would have to have the Golden Lady nearby so I could listen to her talk of the First Age and of Aman. I would try to get her to sing. I might not get much eating done for all the staring I’d be doing, but that’s a small price to pay.

3) SaucepanMan: I’ve always thought that he would be a lot of fun in person, and he strikes me as a bit of an extrovert, in the right conditions – he’d be very helpful in getting Galadriel to open up, and he’d be a bit of a barrier between me and the guest to his left who is…

4) Gandalf: Because I would want to have some fireworks after the party. He would also be a great match with the person at the foot of the table…

5) davem: We’d be facing one another; that way, I could easily speak with him if I wanted, or eavesdrop on his conversations with Gandalf and…

6) Frodo: How could I have a Middle-earth party and not invite Frodo?? Being as he’s so polite I’m sure he’d ask if he could bring anything, and I’d say that a bit of Old Toby wouldn’t be refused. At some point after dinner, in a quiet moment, I’d try to catch him alone so I could ask him about the Ring…

7) Bêthberry: Because she would be sitting right across from SaucepanMan and so I could count on all kinds of really good cross-table conversation to break up the monotony of side-by-by side chatting. She would also be able to break into what would undoubtedly become a very clubby group of Gandalf, davem and Frodo at the far end of the table. Plus, by putting Bb where I have, she would be between Frodo and…

8) Aragorn: This way, I would have Galadriel on my left hand, and Aragorn on my right. I would be the envy of everyone at the Barrow Downs, and while I rather fear that I would disgrace myself in some way, I wouldn’t care because, hey, it’s the Golden Lady of the Woods and Elessar Telcontar!

I do realise that I have not managed anything close to gender parity, but with two women like Bêthberry and Galadriel there, I rather suspect that the men would have a hard time dominating. I also, obviously, have left out a lot of Downers and figures from M-E whom I would like to invite, but what can I do? My table only seats eight comfortably…

As to the menu: I would start with sautéed sea scallops with toasted pancetta in a light butter and herb pan-sauce, served over fresh bitter greens (arugula, frisee and radicchio). This would be followed with a brandy-mushroom soup with garlic croutons. The entrée would be pumpkinseed encrusted monkfish drizzled with asparagus oil, and cold tureen of poached vegetables in balsamic reduction. The salad would be mesclun greens in apple caramel vinaigrette, served on potato crustini and topped with goat’s cheese and grilled portabello mushroom. Dessert would be champagne and berry sorbet, with – of course – coffee and liqueurs to follow. (I figure I will tell Frodo before hand that there’s a good solid loaf of bread with tasty cheese and meat pie out in the kitchen should he want that as well in between the other courses.)

At any event, is there anyone else who would like to indulge in throwing a fantasy dinner party? Or am I the only one?

[Elennar Starfire]

Me: Throwing a party for those who love lo laugh.

Pippin: The winner of the Most Amusing Hobbit Award.

Merry: Because Merry and Pippin are so much funnier together.

Tom Bombadil: Always ready with a silly song and dance when the conversation dies.

Oddwen and Meela: The ultimate Mirthies.

I would probably also include a few people who had recently made very amusing posts recently, and thus caught my attention.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

A dinner party, eh? Having never actually hosted a dinner party (being rather more partial to small, informal get-togethers involving pizza, green tea, fritos, and low-powered explosives), I am afraid that I am rather unpracticed at the hosting of such events.

However, my guest list would include, for this particular party, writers.

Seated at the head of the table, would be myself, of course. As for the rest of the table, I have no idea what places I would seat each person at, but I would invite: Bethberry, littlemanpoet, Aman, Encaitare, Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, and Keeper of Dol Guldur (the 'Downer, not Khamul (I think Khamul would be a rather uncomfortable dinner guest)).

Bethberry and littlemanpoet are on the guest list because of Eodwine, Falco, and Bethberry's interesting reaction to Saeryn.

Aman, for our verbally crossed swords in The Gauntlet Tavern; through PMs, once The Barrow-Wight nixed the thread.

Encai has a place of honor, because some of her poetry (see her blog) inspired a really cool drawing. Also because she helped thrust me in the direction of The White Horse Inn during a rather educational chat one evening.

Bilbo and Frodo, because without their excellent recording skills, where would we all be? Probably doing something far more productive than this.

And the artist formerly known as Keeper of Dol Goldur gets a seat for a few reasons. The most important being that he's quite a decent writer. The others being slightly less crucial to the idea of the party: he is my brother and therefore it would be easy to get him to this party, and he is a good cook, and he therefore would be (currently unknown by himself) The Cook.

The meal would include no seafood whatsoever, the hostess being generally prejudiced against it in all forms. There would, however, be mushrooms, tomatos, and food that seems rather hobbitish in nature to me. This would cater to our distinguished halfling guests, as well as my own tastebuds. Edit: Chef Keeper insists on po-ta-toes. With a seperate accent for each syllable, and they shall be boiled, mashed, stuck in a stew, or whatever else he fancies to do with them.

Drinks, I am not particularly sorry to say, will be entirely non-alcoholic, but I can provide you with any number of teas, juices, or strange mixtures that you may not actually desire to drink. I plan to drink iced green tea with a squeeze of lime. Keeper shall be given vanilla cream soda, and I regret to inform my hobbit guests that they will be reduced to hot cider.

Fea

[mark12_30]

I guess I'm bending the rules here, but I went over ten. Once I started counting I couldn't delete anybody.

This is a "Frodo, tell us the truth" party. Why DID you wait til your birthday to leave the Shire? What do you feel the most guilt over? How's your shoulder feeling these days? Was it you, or the Ring, speaking to Gollum? Did you claim the Ring or did the Ring claim you, and when exactly were you aware of it? Have you ever had a crush on somebody-- come on, who was it? Who else? Did you leave Middle-Earth out of optimism or pessimism? Have you been healed in Aman? Are you enjoying yourself in the Undying Lands?

Counterclockwise to my right:
Child of the 7th Age: Because she asks all the deep questions, and she can think of more than I can.
Frodo: Pass the Mushrooms to the fellow on the witness stand.
Marileangifornimaluim: She'll ask some left-fielders... Poor Frodo.
Bilbo: He'll have a sharp perspective on some things that Frodo will hesitate to admit.
Lush: to keep Frodo on his hobbit-toes.
Elrond: to give the masculine elvish perspective.
Mister Underhill: for more deep questions, and a firm grasp on reality, common sense,
Galadriel: for the feminine elvish perspective.
Kuruharan: because he sees through drivel and gets to the point.
Finrod: A philosopher who only met Frodo in the west, and can tell us the foreigner's impression of him.
Birdland: Because she is a free-spirit, and will steer the conversation in a humorous direction when things get too intense. I'm sure Frodo will appreciate that. Lush and Birdland together will also keep Elrond and Finrod off-balance.
Samwise: Moral support for Frodo.

What will be served--
Are you kidding? I'm no cook. I'll ask Raefindel to cater it, and Sam can advise her.

If I had to say, I'd sketch some menu like this:
Several varieties of fresh salad
elvish bread, Gildor-style (not lembas)
cabbage and roots
coney stew
bacon and mushrooms
venison well-simmered in Miruvor
A side table piled very high with the best fresh fruit that can be found, including some tropical mellons and the best berries.


Edit: I was sorely tempted to include the Professor himself. However, something restrained me. Perhaps that's another party. Lyta Underhill would really want to be in on this one. And someone would have to take notes... guess that would be me. I can eat later.

[Mithalwen]

After an exhausting morning's cleaning my dining /drawing room is actually fit to receive visitors so I am prepared to contemplate a dinner party. The table could sit 10 at most so alas it will have to be a select gathering but were it summer I would hold a far more extensive "garden party" which would also enable me to invite an entwife and discover where they got to all these years. There are a few surprises here - some Middle Earth people and some "downers" I would find just too daunting ....... I was tempted to invite a cave-troll so I wouldn't be the ugliest AND most stupid person at table but the chairs are increasingly fragile heirlooms and we cannot spare the elbow room if we are to seat ten.... two at each end and three along the long sides. Although it is not the best spot for accessing the kitchen I wish to be near all my guests so I will be in the centre of the long side.
In order from me we have

Glorfindel: I would want to hear all about Gondolin and the search for Frodo and his companions. And he is a very cute elf-boy

Eowyn: I am sure she would like to compare notes with Glorfindel on the Witch King and she is my heroine.

Imrahil: Hmm ... an interesting older man, I always wanted to l know more about the history of Dol Amroth and its Lords. Also he is surely up to the social challenge of the lady to his right -

Melian the Maia: Glorfindel will be opposite her and so they can talk about the elder days. Next to her will be

Boromir88: Well able to cope with both the serious and more light hearted ends of the table and might be prevailed upon to bring fireworks ( obviates the need to invite a certain grumpy old wizard). On his right will be a fellow American

Feanor of the Peredhil.... I am glad she doesn't drink... she knows too much now...
to her right, that most genial hobbit -
Meriadoc Brandybuck: amusing but not silly, intelligent but not stuffy and will be a smoking companion for..
Lalwende: Sometimes I feel we were separated at birth .......
the final place (although one of the first to be chosen) is
Heren Istarion. I cannot think of a better person to have at a dinner party, I am sure he can be relied on to fill awkward gaps in conversation or defuse any discussions that got too heated. That is why he has to sit next to me incase I "go off on one...".

Our menu (since it is a bleak midwinter) may be more to Hobbit tastes - I advise you do not eat for a while before hand.

On arrival you will be served with Pimm's No 3 (Winter)... and canapes

The first course will be crepes filled with smoked salmon served with the lightest, frothiest cheese sauce. The wine a crisp white .. maybe a chenin blanc

The main course will be rib of beef with yorkshire pudding, gravy made with red wine and mustard, potatoes roasted in goose fat and seasonal vegetables (all organic and locally produced of course..) ... the wine will be my beloved merlot of course.

Cheese board: (a legacy of living in France is a tendancy to serve this at this point in the meal) will include a really good genuine cheddar from Cheddar....

Pudding will be my special ginger one, with cream and ..... oh I don't really like dessert wine but sinceI have such illustrious guests .. maybe a Tokay.

Coffee - Blue Sumatra and my own homemade chocolates.

Port and Madeira will be available for those who care for it.... remember to pass it to the left...

Not sure if the Ladies will "withdraw" for a gossip session leaving the gentlemen to their brandy and cigars - on the whole I would prefer the smokers of either gender to withdraw to the garden...

If it were summer we would probably eat there and the menu would be

Pimm's No1 and crudites
Feta cheese, parma ham and fresh figs served with salad and ciabatta
Poached salmon, new potatoes, french beans
Tarte au Citron with fresh raspberries

The wines would be light and fruity and there would be champagne at some point... and it might be lunch preceding that garden party..to which a much wider group would be welcomed ...

Suitable alternatives would be provided for vegetarians and teetotallers and I am sure I could find Merry a pottle of Old Thumper....

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

There are severe restrictions in my dinner party. For a start my house is really quite small so there are a few characters who would probably look down on me for that. I also cannot cook very well but I am afraid I would insist on preparing everything. A mediterranean salad I think. So you can see that it will be a fairly simple occasion, suited to certain tastes.

So who to invite?

Saeros - oh, wait....no, not him.

Merry Brandybuck - because the size of the house wouldn't bother him as much. Also because he's absolutely brilliant!

Luthien - because everyone would behave with her around. Also, I'd like to see with my own eyes....

Tom Bombadil - without question, the merriest guy going around. It is guaranteed to be a night of good cheer with him here.

Lalwende - because it seems as if she'd be a delight to talk to. Also, there really needs to be at least one person there who I could make laugh.

The Saucepan Man - what needs to be said? I already picture him as Tom Bombadil-esque!

Diamond - because, quite frankly, she's hilarious.


*Note to add, it's cruel to pick out three. I'd love to have a big party with all of you guys.*