THE TWO TOWERS NETWORK
Boromir the 88th.
Take us to the Black Gate
As news spread and excitement grew for the 2012 Arda Cup, fans, reporters, and analysts alike scrambled to get the most up-to-date info on their favorite teams and players. Since this year's Cup (and future years) promises new dynamics and a multitude of changes, no one fully knows what to expect. Team owners don't even seem to know what to expect, but indeed they will have their own designs to win the 2012 Arda Cup.
One thing everyone does count on is Sauron being one of the creative innovators, and leaders to the new system of owners and salary caps. So, it came as no surprise once officials announced the start of tournament, Sauron jumped out to grab a primetime slot and hold a press conference in front of the Black Gate. Here, he will address and welcome the media, which has gathered reporters across the world, hoping to get the first word of Arda Cup - 2012.
The Black Gate opened and out came a dark figure, upon a dark, ghastly horse with a burning red fire in its eyes. To the dismay of the media throng, it was not Sauron himself, but his emissary, The Mouth!
The Mouth: My Master regrets being unable to attend this conference, but as you must understand he has matters that require his full attention at the moment. With free agency period just opening up, and my Master being invested in several teams, he will be diligently working over these many weeks to putting his teams together. However, He has appointed me, the humble servant, always worthy of His trust, as Press Secretary. I can not answer any specifics regarding policy, but I do speak for Him.
Gorthakh from the Eastern Prophet: For the layman fans out there, maybe you can explain what all this talk of owners, investors, contracts and caps mean?
The Mouth: Due to financial struggles from many clubs it was decided something needed to be done to bring costs of owning and running teams down. The purpose of a salary cap is to keep teams relatively even on the competitive field and keep player salaries down to a manageable level. Also, what's been changed this year is teams have investors. Consider it as a pool of groups, or individuals, putting their money together to be owners, or part-owners, of a team. It's a cost-sharing effect, where different groups of people pooling resources together can share the financial burdens of owning a club.
Gorthakh: And what are Sauron's investments?
The Mouth: My master operates
Barad-dur's Gold and Silver Jewelers, which has major ownership over both Mordor teams. His realtor firm based in Tol-in-Gaurhoth claims minor shares for the teams Anfauglith and Tol-in-Gaurhoth. The Dark Lord's partnered with Morgoth to run Anfauglith, and with the cast of weirdos inhabitting someplace known as the
Barrow-downs.com to run Tol-in-Gaurhoth. Don't ask me further questions about the strange individuals known as Barrow-Downers. My master is interested in this alternative reality called "Interwebs" but I don't understand it, or how the finances work. 'Net-bucks? Sounds like Republic credits.
Maggot from Gorgoroth Plain Dealer: With Sauron being involved in so many teams, wouldn't there be a conflict of interest if two teams he's part-owner of, play eachother?
The Mouth: Actually this is another area where we must praise the Cup Committee for getting correct. Too often in years past games appeared to have backdoor deals and closed-door arrangements. This was all too often the case with the Valar teams, and "goodie" teams. However, the new design makes fixing matches a rather dumb strategy. From the investors standpont, the better your teams play, the further they progress, the more money for investors. From a player's standpoint the better you play, the better offers you receive. So, from both perspectives, manipulating games to help a different team makes little to no sense.
Maggot: Mayhaps you're right, mayhaps you're not. But what I mean is, you've said Sauron is partial owner in 4 different teams. Say if Anfauglith plays Barad-dur, who would Sauron prefer to win? And why should Mordorians care at all about Anfauglith? We want a championship won by our home team of Mordor. It would appear, Sauron desires trophies, but it don't matter which team of his gets one.
The Mouth: I have been assured by my Master that while he of course wants all of his teams to do well, his number one priority is making Mordor a champion again. That is why he has far more invested in the two Mordor teams, than the others.
Egasluin from the Valinorean Chronicle: Switching gears to another topic. What is Sauron's official position on the ban on games being played in Valinor this year? A person with his deep pockets surely had to wield a lot of influence.
The Mouth: I do not appreciate your tone, nor your implication. Fortunately, for you, we conduct business here differently than those snobby friends of yours from across the sea. The Dark Lord's position is, quite frankly, he doesn't care what the Valar do. His focus is on managing his own affairs. We do accept in years past, hosting games in Mordor was a major problem for tourists, and had our own bans. These problems in Mordor have been remedied since my Master's return to restore order and co-operation. If a host can not insure safety and passage to all ticket-holders, than they should not be permitted to host games. It is that simple. To ignore the list of crimes committed on Valar soil would be the ultimate form of hypocrisy from Cup officials. So, we support the ban for no games being played in Valinor this year, but my Master had nothing to do with that decision. His only involvement in what took place last year was giving the dwarven-rings that had not been destroyed by dragon-fire, back to the dwarves as an act of charity.
Iorlas from The Rising Anor - Magazine: You stated Sauron's primary goal was to make Mordor a champion in football. Can you explain what moves he is looking to make in signing players? And what the strategy is to best compete under the new gameplay system?
The Mouth: As I said at the beginning I can not discuss specific policy, with you, at this time. However, I can say, my Master is looking forward to competing under these new rules and believes since really no one knows what to expect, than everyone is starting on a clean slate. He encourages all Mordor supporters to be patient as he will work tirelessly to build an exciting, profitable, and championship contending team.
Iorlas: Surely you can give us some rumors to players you're looking at to come play under the red banner and the Eye?
The Mouth: Again, not at this time.
The Mouth mounted his terrible steed, and galloped back into the land of Mordor, with the large Black Gate shrieking shut. And thus ended the first, official, 2012 Arda Cup Press Conference. (Remember, brought to you by none other than TTN!
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