I assign printers. I assign them not working and printing out things that are totally unrecognisable! I also assign projects that you misunderstood the due dates for, I thought a project for my poetry class was due next Friday, turns out it's due tomorrow, so I have to rush to get things done.
I also assign having two eight page papers due in a week that you haven't even started on yet due to nobody willing to take you to the library except on days it's not open due to budget cuts... Oh! And having $30 worth of library fines for overdue books for the
last time you wrote a paper... for the same teacher. And, having the library want to send you to Collections for said fines.
I'd also like to assign taking a class at another, larger, abominable school. They have the strangest schedules and the rudest people I've ever seen. Seriously, if you glance at them sideways they would beat you up right then and there!
I also assign having a nice cold that started up today. I have no idea where my nose has gone, it started running and I haven't seen it since. I also have this nassty cough that could go to Angband!
Two more things, having the new choir music that you have been waiting for for weeks not coming yet, and having to wake up in seven hours.
~TheGrumpyElvenWarrior