I conassign
Hookbill the Goomba. I might need him in AT-- Er, I mean... because I don't like the way that "hook" and "goom" have the same "oo" sound, but it's pronounced entirely differently. There... *wipes brow* found an excuse.
I also assign my latest tragedy: I went to have a bowl of cereal and when I pulled my soymilk out of the fridge, guess what... yeah... it was frozen solid. So now I'm having a dry bowl of Apple Jacks. And that just ruins my night.