ROFL! Can't...breathe...must...stop...laughing...hahahah ahahahahahahahaha...you get the idea. Okay, here's a few things I thought of:
Tom Bombadil: Disturbing the peace
The Ents: Loitering (yes, this applies to Merry and Pippin as well)
Merry and/or Pippin: Theft, underage drinking, assault(sp?) and battery, disturbing the peace, possesion and usage of weed, eating "magic mushrooms", public nudity (yeah, yeah, Frodo and Sam get charged with this one as well, and yes I realize that Frodo would get charged with it twice), going AWOL (Pippin), sneaking into the army (can't imagine why anyone would want to really), murder, and all of the charges filed against them during the cleansing of the Shire.
Denethor: Arson, child neglect,and attempted murder.
Aragorn: Picking wildflowers (I know it doesn't seem like a crime, but it is where I live), murder, cruelty to animals (sending Bill away), and jaywalking.
Old Man Willow: Attempted Hobbit-napping, false advertising.
Peter Jackson: Taking a perfectly good manuscript and making terrible errors in the script. (I grudgingly give the man credit for the work he did, it could have been worse!!!!)
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue
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